The Creation of the Marvin
By Nasamuffin, who knows where her towel is.
A load of drunken Sirius Cybernetics Corporation engineers staggered back into their workshop. There was a pile of parts on the megaplastic table and none of them could quite remember what they were supposed to be doing with them, except that it was very important and hard.
One of them was not so drunk as the others, and he had the sense to point out that there was a note on the table. The note said that they should be making a GPP robot.
Being as drunk as they were, they couldn't think of what personality to give it. Then one of them said, "Oh God, I'm feeling so depressed."
Then and there, an idea was born.
"Where am I?" The robot sounded pained. "Who is sitting on me?"
A drunken engineer had fallen on top of the robot and was snoring. The robot pushed his load away and sat up, saying, "I'm so depressed. Why?"
The engineer woke up as he hit the ground. "OW!" he shrieked. Then he looked at the robot. "It worked…. Wow, my head hurts like shit, but it worked!" He danced around the room and tripped over a colleague, who also woke up.
"What the hell was that all about, Marvin?" he asked the first engineer. But he had already passed out again.
"I suppose you can't be talking about me…" The robot had a particularly sad look on, and its face couldn't even move.
A man to his right woke up from a dream and threw a screwdriver right at him. "Take that, Eccentrica Gallumbits! Too pricey! Too pricey!" He then passed out again.
The screwdriver hit him right in his diode power supplier for that side, subsequently shorting out all the diodes down his left side. This of course would be very painful, if the robot could feel pain, which it couldn't. Moaning, it walked out the door.
"I wonder what I shall call myself? Ho hum, ho hum."