Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In…2…3…4… Out…2…3…4…
Lilly Potter let her inhales and exhales form a rhythm to guide her feet on the uneven path. Even without her brothers, she kept a fast pace and didn't look down. She didn't need or want to.
Lilly's childhood had been spent on this path, she knew every tree and rock there was. Part of her father's need for privacy had put them here, in England's forest, isolated, but not lost forever. Lilly reached up and tapped a low hanging branch, a habit since years ago.
She could still remember how James and Albus had jeered at her because they could touch the branch and she couldn't. Her mother had found her the next day stretching her hands up toward the sky, trying to grow faster.
Lilly's whole life had been spent trying to grow faster. If only…What? Lilly thought, if only she hadn't had mean big brothers? If only her father weren't so protective? If only she lived up to her family's expectations.
Yeah, that was it. James and Albus had shown their parents' knack for magic at an early age, they had lightning fast reflexes like their father, but fierce power like their mother. Lilly growled in her throat and urged her feet to move faster, to leave the bad thoughts behind.
Today was the day that she would see if she were like them. Today was her first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Lilly's breathing became just the slightest bit labored, but she knew she had at least a good mile left in her before she would start panting. Her trip to Diagon Alley for school supplies had been trying to say the least. All had been going well until Olivander's. Of course the old man had disappeared during the war, but Olivander's son had stepped in to take his father's place.
Olivander Jr. was just as good, if not better, at wand making and selling than his father. Lilly had stepped in full of excitement. Her own wand! She had been waiting for years for this moment. Olivander had looked at her oddly, and then gone off to the shelves of boxes muttering about pointlessness.
Lilly had tried close to fifty wands before landing on one that didn't make things explode. It wasn't perfect, it hadn't chosen her, and she hated it. Her brothers both had perfect wands that did all their bidding. Why couldn't she be as lucky? Olivander himself had seen her ineptitude for magic. It was pointless, maybe she was a squib?
"Lilly! Hey squirt, you're running fast!" Lilly slowed to a jog to let James catch up to her. Her oldest brother was thirteen and had just hit a growth spurt, sprouting from nowhere a few inches and gangly arms.
"What are you doing up so early?" he asked, "Nervous?" a teasing tone hit his voice and she bit back a sigh.
"No, I'm fine. I always run in the mornings, but I had to do it extra early because we're leaving early. What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be asleep, dreaming of Joanna Finnigan?" She shot right back at him making him turn red and pick up his pace.
"Mum wanted me to tell you that breakfast is ready. C'mon." He veered suddenly onto a small splinter path of the main one, heading back towards their house. As they approached it, Lilly took in its beautiful brick structure and Victorian flair. Lilly loved the house, and now she was wondering if it was going to be a year before she saw it again. She shook her head to clear it and walked into the kitchen.
*
"Lilly, dear, could you go up and get your trunk, we have to leave soon." Ginny Potter tried not to cry as she watched her only daughter roll her eyes and run up to her room. Lilly was the youngest and the only girl, just like Ginny herself. But she had been nothing like her stubborn, sometimes messy, beautiful daughter.
"Why couldn't I have been like her growing up?" Ginny turned to her husband who was reading the Prophet at the table. "She's so much stronger than me, so much smarter." Harry looked up at her, smiling.
"Why couldn't I have been like her growing up?" Harry stood, wrapping his arms around Ginny's waist. "We are so much better than the Dursleys." She smiled and leaned in for a kiss.
"Ewwww!"
"Aw, c'mon mum!"
"That's just gross."
The pair broke apart to look at their children, standing in the doorway and ready to go. Harry gave Ginny a rueful look. There were some things that made boarding school worth the strain of missing your kids.
All of them loaded up in the car and Harry slid behind the wheel, glancing at his daughter in the rear view mirror. She was quiet, almost stoic, trying to look brave, but shaking. Lilly was one of a kind. She was observant, smart, quick-witted, charming, spunky, tough, but she was puzzling.
Out of all of his children, she was the one he worried about the most. This no wand thing had him shaking along with her. What if she was a squib? Of course he would love her anyway, but how could she be able to deal with it? Only time would tell. Pulling into King's Cross, his mind flashed back to the first time he had ever seen her, held her.
He had been sure that nothing in the world could be as pretty. She had been so different from her brothers. She was smaller, lighter, softer. She had been all girl from the beginning. Now here she was, starting at Hogwarts. Nothing could have prepared him.
They crossed through the barrier and he spotted Ron and Hermione almost immediately. He also saw Malfoy with Scorpius, walking to a compartment. Too soon he had to hug his children good-by. Lilly leaned into him and lingered more than Albus and James. Harry squeezed her extra hard and tried to give her some strength. She pulled away to join Hugo in a compartment.
Ginny stood by his side and they watched as all three of their children left for the first time. "So I guess this means we can have a snog in the kitchen now." said Ginny as soon as the train was out of sight. Harry laughed and led her back to the car. "Yeah, as many times as you want. Just say the word."
*
"Is this the last of the Potters? Well, finally! I know just where to put you…Gryffindor!"
Lilly sagged with relief and went to join her cheering brothers and cousins at the table. A chill ran up her spine and had her looking to her right. Her gaze collided with cold, steel grey eyes. Her breath sucked into her body and her heart stopped. Scorpius Malfoy. In the instant their eyes met, something flashed through his and she froze in her tracks. Some sort of emotion, or heat, she didn't have a chance to identify it, it was gone as soon as it had come.
Lilly hurried to a seat next to Hugo and kept her head down for the rest of the ceremony.
*
Scorpius looked thoughtfully into his shepherd's pie. Lilly Potter was quite a surprise. Her eyes were deep blue, so unlike any of her immediate family. Their eyes had met and he had felt a flood of sensation in his body. His limbs tingled and his heart was racing.
He shook his head hard. Breathe. Yes, that was it. He must have imagined his reaction to the girl. She was so pretty, it was only natural to admire her, but she was just a girl. Just a silly little first year girl. He smiled and raised his head looking to one of his friends, Benedict.
"I don't think we were ever that small." He said, and he and Benedict got into a rousing discussion of Quidditch.