Nothings The Same Anymore
Avoiding themselves wouldn't be especially hard. Jack just got Ianto to book them into a very posh hotel for the night, no expense spared. Ianto did not spare on the expense, the team deserved the treat and Torchwood owed them. Jack owed them.
An hour after John Hart's departure Ianto dropped them off at the Hilton with no intentions of joining them. He wanted to be as far away from Jack as possible. Owen and Tosh tried their level best to get him to come with them, but Ianto politely refused. He needed to be alone and in his own bed so after waving good bye he drove home in the SUV saying he'd deal with the sports car in the morning. Ianto had steadfastly avoided Jack's gaze as he left.
Owen, Tosh, Gwen and Jack checked in then congregated in Jack's room with copious amounts of food and alcohol. They ate in silence, and then hit the beers finally loosening up enough to talk. It had been a long day, which had started well before the arrival of the Blowfish. Jack was plied with questions about where he had been and what he'd been up to and Jack did his best to answer as vaguely as he could with out arousing their suspicions. He wasn't ready to talk but his team who had been managing quite admirably in his absence wanted answers. Owen was especially vocal in his demands for explanations. Tosh just sat calmly asking and not expecting any answers. Gwen just gave him doey eyes and kept reminding him that she was glad he was back and in one piece. Owen finally gave up and went to his room via the hotel bar to pick some one up for the night. Tosh was soon to follow trying to encourage Gwen to come with her. Gwen declined.
Jack wished that Gwen would go. He wanted to leave to go to Ianto, but he was certain the young man probably wouldn't welcome him visiting.
"So Jack, now that we've got all those half truths out of the way……" Her hand found it's way over his. He instinctively grasped it needing the warmth of human touch so desperately right now. It would be so easy to just….Jack with drew his hand.
"Good night Gwen."
She was not happy at the dismissal.
Ten minutes later and Jack was walking through the streets of Cardiff in the direction of Ianto's terraced house. When he got there he discovered that the young man had moved three months previously. Jack wanted to cry at that moment. He was so tired and his body hurt from the fall from the rooftop he just wanted to see Ianto, reassure himself that things would be alright between them. Jack froze under a streetlight and considered how selfish that actually was. It would be a miracle if Ianto ever spoke to him again let alone anything else. Disappointed and feeling thoroughly exhausted Jack wandered back to the hotel. Once there he showered, got dry and fell into bed.
It was four in the following afternoon before he finally woke up to the sound of some one knocking on the door. Jack grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist and went to answer the door. It was Ianto. He stood there in a finely cut dark suit with claret red silk shirt, his pallid face set in an unreadable mask. He was holding up suit bag.
"I took the liberty of stopping by the Hub and bringing you some fresh clothes. The others have all checked out and gone home for the day."
Jack took the bag. "Thank you Ianto. Come in."
Ianto remained where he was. "I'm going back to the Hub. I have work to do." He handed Jack the keys to the SUV being certain that their fingers did not touch. "The SUV is parked on level three you'll need to fill it up with petrol before you come in."
Jack was taken aback at his cold matter of fact manner.
"Ianto, please……come in. We need to talk."
The only response he received was a steely glare as the young man turned away and walked off down the corridor. Jack sighed and closed the door, half wondering if he should have stayed on board the TARDIS.
On arriving at the Hub he found Ianto petting Myfanwy and feeding her fish on the gantry below Tosh's dragon painting. He trotted gamefully up to stand at Ianto's side and admired the pteranodon that had become Ianto's pet. Ianto appeared to be trying to ignore his presence and Jack had finally had enough.
"Soon as you are done, my office." Jack didn't want to make it an order.
"Yes, sir." Ianto replied icily. Jack shuddered as he walked away to his domain. He sighed as he stepped into his office; they had moved things around in his absence. Some of Jack's things had even been boxed up and dumped down into his bunker below.
Ianto entered the office as quietly as he ever did and stood there, hands hanging at his sides, his familiar blank expression on his young face. Jack looked straight into his beautiful blues and realised a man he did not really recognise was staring back at him. Gone was the warmth and affection that Jack had previously found in those oceanic orbs. Jack sat down behind his desk.
"Ianto, sit."
Ianto didn't move, his whole gait was rigid. "I'd prefer to stand, sir."
Jack sighed. "I asked you yesterday to call me Jack….."
"That was yesterday, this isn't."
"Ok. I know you are mad with me…"
Jack should've recognised the warning there and then in the ever so slight widening of Ianto's eyes and the sharp intake of breath.
"You have no bloody idea sir. Now unless you actually have any instructions for me, I have things to attend to." He turned to leave. Jack flew out of his seat and ran round his desk grabbing Ianto sharply by the arm and pulling him round so that they were facing each other merely inches between them.
If looks could kill, Jack would've been vapourised on the spot.
"Get your hands off me."
"Not until you and I have a conversation."
"There's nothing to discuss. You left us, left me with out even bothering to say good bye. It nearly tore this place apart. It hurt Jack, made me realise that you never gave a damn about any of us. Five months and not a single word and you haven't even apologised for going in the first place have you."
"Well I'm apologising now. At least I am trying to. I know I have a lot to make up for….."
Ianto rolled his eyes and snorted. "We were doing ok with out you. Why the hell did you bother coming back?"
Jack baulked aware of the tears pricking at his eyes. He reached a hand to Ianto's face and Ianto flinched away from the contact, but Jack touched him anyway as tenderly as he could. Brushing his fingertips over Ianto's pale cheek.
"I meant what I said. I came back for you."
A single tear ran down Jack's face and before he even realised it Ianto was wiping it away with the pad of his thumb. They stared at one another for a long time, the only sound their breathing, their eyes storms of emotions trying to sort themselves out. Ianto finally reached his arms around Jack and pulled him into a tight embrace. Jack buried his face into Ianto's neck and bawled his eyes out sliding his arms about the slim body of his beautiful young Welshman and for the first time since Jack's return Ianto wasn't angry.
Ianto was just unable to stay mad for long. He wanted to be mad for weeks, make Jack actually pay for deserting them, but he just couldn't do it. There was something fundamentally different about Jack. It was a tiny thing but the moment he had properly looked into Jack's eyes he had been witness to a world of pain and exhaustion. Ianto's resolve crumbled. Jack just needed to be held and Ianto knew he had to be the one to do it. What ever lay between them could be settled later when feelings had calmed and some trust been rebuilt. There was no other way. They needed each other just like they always had and Ianto didn't have it in him to turn Jack away. Jack sobbed into his shoulder, great heaving sobs and Ianto rubbed calming circles over his back and sung a lullaby to him in Welsh. It felt like forever before the tears stopped and Jack just stood there clinging to him as though his life depended on it. Ianto wondered what on Earth had happened to him whilst he'd been away, it couldn't have been good for Jack to be behaving like this.
"God, I thought I'd lost you Yan." It came out as a whisper.
Ianto kissed his head. "I thought I'd lost you too."
Jack squeezed him tighter if that were at all possible.
"I'm sorry Ianto. I am so sorry."
"It's OK Jack. I know. It's OK now."
Ianto wasn't sure how long they'd stood there for. He was aware of his lower back starting to ache and he shifted his weight slightly keeping a tight hold on Jack as he did so.
"I went looking for you last night."
Ianto couldn't help but smile.
"You did?"
"You've moved out of that lovely old house."
"Yeah, I needed a change, somewhere smaller. I'm almost never at home these days."
Jack eased himself away from Ianto so he could look at him. Ianto's hands dropped but Jack took hold of them. Their eyes met again unable to look away from one another, both lost for words for a long time.
"I really am sorry."
Ianto nodded. "Coffee?"
They both smiled, letting out breaths that neither realised they'd been holding.
"It's been so long….I've forgotten what it's like."
Ianto gently pulled his hands away. "It's still perfect." He turned to leave the office and paused at the door facing Jack once again a more serious look on his face.
"We will have to talk Jack. Things have changed, for all of us. We'll need time. I will."
Jack looked mortified.
"I just need to know we'll be alright."
Ianto offered him a comforting upwards curve of his lips. "I'd like to think so."
As he left Jack felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness wash over him. Who was he trying to kid? These people, his team, his friends, his family; they were all he had and he'd let them down badly. These were people that had cared about him and the work he had asked them to commit to and all Jack had done was turn his back on them. The Doctor was right, he was 'wrong', but not in the way the Doctor had meant. Jack wondered if he'd ever be able to repair the damage. Gathering his resolve he followed Ianto to the coffee machine. Already the rich aromas were wafting across the Hub and Jack paused to inhale the wonderful scent, the smell of home. Home, that's what it was he'd come home. Ok, so some things had been moved around. There was a new green house for a start and Alex's old office had been converted into a meeting room of sorts. But it still felt like where he belonged.
Ianto was at his side proffering his blue and white striped mug. Jack grasped it curling his fingers around the hot porcelain. He closed his eyes and inhaled.
"Thank you Ianto."
"You're welcome Jack." Ianto paused for a moment. "It is good to see you." He added.
Jack couldn't hide his relief and watched as Ianto walked away and settled himself at Tosh's terminal to begin work.
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Ianto ran as fast as he could, which wasn't slow but the guy up ahead of him was faster and very desperate to get away. He leap frogged a low garden wall, trampled hastily across some one's beautiful flowerbed and was chased by a dog until he leapt over the last fence in the row. His feet pounded the pavement as he then charged up Gethin Road and dodged between two parked cars to cross the street. His chest hurt, every breath a labour now as he tried to keep up. Ianto was quietly thanking God that it was an unseasonally warm night and that he was only wearing a shirt and tie with his suit trousers which were now ripped along the left leg thanks to the dog. Ianto fleetingly wondered where the Hell Jack and Owen had gotten to. The man they were after was a slippery beggar and as soon as he had taken flight Ianto had chased straight after him, mostly through residential back gardens. Jack and Owen had gone for the SUV.
He didn't look for traffic as he dived out narrowly missing going head first over a passing mini. The young man cursed in Welsh and continued on, his quarry having tripped up the kerb and lurched back to his feet, still running in front. Ianto hated days like this, stupid little men that thought they could get a handle on Alien tech and use it to hurt innocent people. The young Welshman just wanted to shoot the bastard and have done with it, but Jack was right, they needed the little shit alive. Ianto half found himself wondering when he'd been so quick to dish out a death sentence on someone he didn't even know. It was bad enough fighting aliens, guarding the rift from the scurge of the universe but humans could be the worse kind of scum in existence in Ianto's experience.
Ianto managed to close the gap a little and caught sight of the semi automatic handgun clutched in the right hand of the man he was pursuing. The one he had been chasing for nearly forty minutes now. Ianto's hand went straight to his ear piece without slowing up for a second.
"Jack he's armed." Was yelled out breathlessly as he ran. The man turned right out of sight and Ianto did his best to speed up. He swung round the corner to the sound of a resounding snap and then he froze, looking down. Ianto's hand went straight to his stomach. Blood leaked through his fingers almost immediately. His legs buckled and he crumpled to the concrete and landing hard on his knees, his free hand going out and stopping him from head butting the ground. His assailant was well away and Ianto could vaguely make him out disappearing around a corner not so far ahead. Then the pain hit him and stars exploded in his vision. He had to fight hard to keep conscious, to ease himself to the ground and lie on his side. He fumbled at the blue tooth in his left ear.
"Jack, he's headed toward, North Avenue, but I've lost visual contact." How he managed his controlled and measured tone of voice he never knew.
"Ok, Ianto I'm on it. Can you cut him off at Jackson Street?"
Shit, Ianto knew he wouldn't be able to get up again, but he tried anyway. He could barely move, his guts screaming in agony.
"Sorry Jack. Won't make it. I've been shot, but I'm ok. Nothing serious."
"Stay put Ianto. Owen is on his way to you."
Ianto sagged trying not to lose his grip on his abdomen. There was way too much stuff coming out.
He rolled on to his back and was met with a view of the stars. It was a beautiful night, warm, balmy and right now he and Jack were supposed to be on that date they had talked about 2 weeks ago. The sky arched over him like a shroud, he could feel it coming down on him and Ianto welcomed the darkness of it.
Owen charged along the alley. He could make out a heap on the path under a street light and knew straight away that it had to be Ianto. The young man had stopped answering his com almost straight away. Owen dropped to the floor at his side and rapidly assessed the situation, the first thing he did was call for an Ambulance. Pulling out a dressing pack from his med kit he pressed it to Ianto's stomach, which immediately brought him to consciousness.
"Jack?"
"No mate its Owen. Lay still, ambo is on the way."
Owen touched his ear piece. "Jack, Ianto's down. It's serious I've called an ambulance."
"I'm on my way, we can take him to the Hub."
"No Jack we can't. He doesn't have time, the paramedics will be able to stablelise him. Stay where you are and catch that bastard. I'll go with Ianto to the hospital."
"Will do." The reluctance in Jack's voice was obvious.
Ianto was squirming under his hands. "God, it hurts."
"Yeah mate, bullet in the gut is pretty painful. Looks like you'll be able to bill Jack for a new suit though."
Owen was never more relieved to hear the sound of the blues and twos arriving.
The paramedics just let Owen take control of the situation. It was amazing what the Torchwood ID could do and twenty minutes later they were hurtling along in the direction of Cardiff AnE.
Jack caught up with the man Ianto had been chasing. Two bullets from his Webley into the man's knee brought him to a stop, a quick search of his clothes and the tech was retrieved. Jack rammed a Retcon tablet roughly down the guy's throat and left him to bleed in Bute Park. No one got away with terrorising old ladies and no one, absolutely no one got away with shooting one of his team, especially Ianto. By the time Jack arrived at Cardiff General Hospital Ianto was in theatre having the bullet removed. Jack found Owen hunched over a plastic cup outside the operating room and took a seat beside him.
"Go home Owen, get cleaned up and get some rest. I'll take it from here."
Owen offered him a withering look.
"No way Jack, he's my patient and he's my friend. I'm staying until I know he's out of danger."
Jack sighed. It had been weird like that with Owen. Ever since Jack's return three weeks ago Owen had been fiercely protective toward the young man. In fact all three of the other Torchwood team had been like that. Tosh and Owen had both separately lectured Jack about how bad Ianto had been in his prolonged absence. Tosh had used phrases such as heart broken, lost, completely bereft. Owen had been more blunt, fucked him over, used him and left him like so much trash on the street. Both had threatened to strangle Jack if he hurt Ianto again. Jack had no intentions of hurting him. Jack had come back for him. He had turned down a life of freedom and adventure to be with Ianto.
Jack leaned back resting his head against the cold wall and heaving out a long sigh.
"Did you recover the device?"
"Yep, the guy has been Retconned back to the stone age and shot in the knee for good measure."
Owen was pleased and not at all shocked, sometimes they just had to do things like that. He knew that Ianto would not have approved of the shooting bit, the young always favoured his stun gun these days, wasn't over fussed on using weapons full stop.
"So er… Your date, sorry about that." Owen didn't sound very story. He'd been trying to persuade Ianto not to get back into a relationship with Jack from the day of Jack's return. Jack only knew because he'd watched said discussions over the CCTV. Ianto never spoke of it, hadn't voiced any doubts since that first day in Jack's office, though Jack was certain the young man had nothing but doubts. Things had changed between them not least of which was the fact that Ianto had not let Jack back into his bed. They had agreed to do things 'properly', which in Jack's view meant the 21st century way of doing things. It didn't matter, he'd do what ever Ianto asked of him as far as their relationship was concerned.
"You're not half as sorry as I am." Jack finally replied. "Has any one come out and said how Ianto is?"
Owen shook his head. "He lost a lot of blood, but he was conscious and coherent before he went into theatre."
"That's good?"
"Yes. He'll be on light duties for a good while though, no field ops."
"He shouldn't be out in the field any way." Jack responded. It was the wrong thing to say.
Owen glared at him. "If you hadn't have pissed off for months on end…..You know what Jack, he was better off without you, stronger, more confident. Don't start demoting him back to being your office shag."
Jack swallowed and looked away.
Owen let out a disgusted grunt. "You should leave well alone Jack."
"I think that is between me and Ianto, don't you?"
"What ever Harkness." Owen got to his feet. "I'm getting a coffee, want one?"
Jack shook his head. Boy, it was going to be a long night.
Three hours later and Ianto was wheeled out of the recovery bay. Jack had never seen so many wires and tubes and he glanced worriedly at Owen as Ianto was taken to HDU. The surgeon hung about, she had a faint smile on her face dispite being tired.
"Dr Harper?"
Owen shook hands with her.
"How is he doing?"
"We had to remove his spleen, other wise he would have bled out, sorry. We had to transfuse five units of blood so naturally he's in poor shape, but he'll live. Is there any family? He'll need a lot a care when he first goes home."
"We'll take care of it. I've spoken to his mother, she's on her way."
"Right then, well the team will get him settled then you can see him for a few minutes."
"Thank Dr Townsend."
"You are most welcome." She strode away.
Jack let out a sigh of relief. "What did you tell Ianto's mother?"
Owen shot him another glare. "That her only son is in hospital with a bullet in his gut, what the fuck do you think!"
"Owen! Don't take this out on me. I'm not the one who put him in here."
Owen rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Shit, sorry. I told her he'd been shot in attempted mugging and that I was just his best mate who he'd phoned when he got into trouble."
"What did she say?"
"She asked if my name was Jack and I told her I was Owen. For some reason she was expecting me to be you."
Jack looked away from his accusatory eyes. "Ianto told her about us before I went away."
"Then you can talk to her when she gets here. I'm going home now. You'd best go in and see him and wait till his mother gets here." For some reason Owen's tone softened a little.
"Look Jack. I know you think I am being hard on you. But I meant what I said. Ianto was actually doing ok before you got back. He'd started to pick up the pieces of his life and move on. You always asked too much of him and I know Ianto will do what ever you want him to. Just respect that this time OK?"
"And I meant it when I said I came back for him. I could've had anything Owen and it was offered to me but I chose him because in the end he is all I want."
"Have you told him where you went?"
Jack nodded. "I told him everything."
"And the rest of us?"
"Don't need to know."
Owen shook his head.
"It's funny how some things never change Jack."
"It's funny how some things do."