*Disclaimer: This work is NOT meant for sale or any other way of profit, it was created for entertainment only. All rights reserved to Shin Kidosenki Gundam Wing belong to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and other people that created and realized the project.

GW fanfic: Justice Angel
(2+1)
Kitsune
December 2001

*Warnings: romance, angst (with a ... um... happy ending? ^^; )
*Author's notes:
This. Is. My. First. Fic. It sucs, I can tell, and somewhere in the furture I promise to rewrite it. Well anyway... Ayu-san, happy birthday!

Haven't you heard?

...

I've said it. Yeah, to you.
Right now, right here.

Don't ask a thing, don't ask me why. I just do. I just...

Quatre enters the living room. As he sees us he smiles, gentle eyes glowing in their usual crystal blue.
"Hello, Duo, Heero."
He sits on the couch, drawing one of his countless thousand-paged books.

I glance at Heero. He seems like blasting up! His gritted fists rest anxiety by his hips, the muscles on his arms shift under his tight skin. I'm screwed, man. He's going to beat the last breath out of me... He would already, but then he'd have to give explanations to Quatre or perhaps leave the estate...

We have to finish what we started.
I'm not scared...

I've been preparing myself for this. After all, it doesn't matter if he kills me – I'd die sooner or later either way, or because of the war, or simpler of the fact of keeping in my heart such huge and painful secret. It would wring me out for shore.

"We're going to check out Wing and Death Scythe," I sigh as I talk to Quatre. Smile. I have to smile. This is perhaps the last time I talk to him. He's been always good to me, sweet and caring. He's surely headed for heaven. May you find your happiness, my sweet one.

Quatre looks back at me, his face glowing.
"Ok, Duo-kun," he smiles. It's the fairest smile I've ever seen from him. I ruffle his gold locks and grin. Who made you so cute? With his puzzled glare still on me I look at Heero. The cobalt gaze freezing my eyes.

"Shall we go, Heero?"
I can't manage to grin this time.

"Hai."

He walks firmly pass me and disappears trough the door. I smile to Quatre. I would hug him now, he's been such a good friend for me this whole time... I turn on my heels and walk away. No time, the justice angel's waiting for me.

As I walk along the dark corridor I see Heero walking a meter beyond me, his lime tank top veils among him as the air in the corridor swings about us.

I can swear I saw wings flap out of his back for a second… Nay, It was probably my imagination. I grab on my cross and whisper a prayer. Heero stops and turns round.

I crouch down - my time has come.

"Say it again," he demands. His voice cold, killing, slashing trough me.
I don't dare to gaze up. Must I really get trough all that again? After a brief moment of hesitating I open my mouth. Jet I can't say it. My voice has faded away.

Heero draws his gun pointing it at me.
"Say it again...!" His voice a groan this time.

I lean my hands on the floor. Gosh, they're shaking! I'm full of shivers... every single part of my body trembles! I must look so pathetic and helpless right now... Damit, I've already lost a great part of my dignity so... to hell with it. I'm gonna die for what I believe in. Here's Shinigami's last blow.

"I..." I look up. His cobalt gaze icily cold, his dark brown hair muffled, the lime tank-top flowing about him... My tenshi... my only...

"... I love you, Heero."

His cobalt eyes shift. Probably with hate or disguise.
I close my eyes and lay my forehead on the silencer of his gun. It's true. I haven't lied, my soul is pure. It's up to you now, my angel.

Will you please end my pain?
Will you please blow away my brain,
So I won't think of you anymore?
Will you please shoot me in the heart
So it will make me lone for you no more?

A low shot bows in the hall.

Here I go, here goes Shinigami. Dying beyond the hand of an angel. No pain, no regret. Thank you, Heero, now my love for you can last in eternity.

I can hear something dang on the floor, it seems metal... but it's not my cross. And I can't feel the cool oval of the silencer anymore. What the hell happened?

I gaze up, where Heero stood but... he's not there anymore. On my left I can see the perfect soldier's gun, tossed on the ground, the hall's lights playing on it's cold metal surface. Light smoke lifting from it's top.

I hear footsteps coming up to me and a shadow falls over me.

"Duo?"

Wu Fei lifts me on my feet and makes me gaze into his dark eyes. He's blurred, everything is dancing beyond me...

"Why are you crying? What happened? Speak!" he shakes me.

I'm sorry, Chang, I can't. I should have been dead by now, with a big hole between my eyes...

"Duo...!" he cries. The tone of his voice lower, less angry.

I'm loosing ground. I feel so weak...

I lean on Chang for support, I cannot dare to stand on my feet by my own. I can feel my knees going jelly, I draw quickly my arms around my friend's neck. My heavy spinning head finds it's place on his shoulder.

He holds me. He brushes his cheek upon my own, holding me so tightly on his chest that it almost hurts.

"Duo no baka..." his voice... trembling? I'm not sure, the world seems slowly fading to black...

I'm lifted fully in his arms, my eyes closing...

"Don't ever do it again! You're ... you're too important to me... to us all!! STUPID BAKA!!"

Oh great, he thinks I tried to suicide myself... well he's partly right. But my plan failed. The justice angel decided to make me suffer a few moments longer. Until I'll reach the bottom and fall asleep by myself.

Wu Fei's chest shakes, I hear his sharp sighs near my cheek...

Doesn't he know it's not worth to hold on Death? You have to pay a high price to do so, you have to give your life... But for me it's different. I've lived to die, to veil myself with darkness and blood and then fade away.

"... Don't you understand, you baka?! We love you ...I love you..."

They love me? No, Chang, Heero doesn't love me... That's why I don't give a damn care about the war and the world nor the colonies... That's why I don't love myself. So how can anyone else?

"Urgh... "

Darkness grieves me. Only Chang's strong arms make me aware blood is still pumping trough my limp body.

~ * ~

"...Duo, ...Duo, can you her me?"

That soft voice... Where have I heard it before?

"Uh... Trowa?"

My voice is so weak... It's sorta rasping, I probably hadn't talked in a while... I open my eyes slowly. As I get used to the light I can see Trowa sitting on the bed near me holding a thermometer in his hand. His emerald eyes turn soft in relieve.

"Oh, joy! Chang, Duo has awoken!" I hear Quate's voice and soon the blonde head is on my chest, slender arms around me.

"Duo...!"

He eyes me, I can sense hidden tears in those wide crystal eyes.

"Don't hurt us anymore, OK?" he smiles tenderly and then leans a kiss in my forehead... Where...

where...

the gun was placed...

My eyes shift around the room. "Where's Heero?"

A hand covering mine. A strong callous hand caresses softly my fingers... Heero?

"You don't need him. I'm... we're here." Wu Fei... it's Wu Fei. I gaze into those unfathomable black eyes so strangely soft and full of affection...

No, Chang, I do need him. I love him. "Where's Heero?" I ask again.

Trowa stands up from the bed, his eyes mesmerized somewhere between the window and the bed. Quatre sighs gloomily, his eyes placed on Trowa's back, fingers shifting. They don't wish to tell me...

I try to sit up. God, I'm really weak! A pair of strong arms holds me up. The ones that didn't let me die. Chang's arms.

"He... left. He won't hurt you anymore, Duo, ever again..."

Left?! When? Why? How? He... hasn't finished his mission jet... "No!" I tight up all my aching muscles to drag out of Chang's arms, out of the bed.

"Duo stop! You're still weak!" Quatre yelps leaping on his feet. "Duo, please!" He wants to run behind me but I can see with the corner of my eye Trowa's hand on his shoulder.

Trowa knows. He understands...

I run as fast as I can to Heero's room. It's not true. It can't be true...

But as weak as I am I stumble, my body hits the ground. My long hair is all about me, I forgot it's not braided up.

"Duo, why can't you understand?" I'm drawn in strong embrace again. It feels good physically, but my heart... it breaks of pain at every Chang's touch, it feels similar as Heero's would... I guess... jet I'll never know. I don't care. I just want to see him again. I want to gaze in that arctic cobalt sea... Just once more...

"You're wrong, Chang. I do understand. That's why I need to see Heero..." I grasp on his blue top as he takes me back to my room.

And I'm going to find you my angel... so you can end my apocalypse.

~*End of part one

~*~

Justice Angel
Part two

I can feel my heartbeat strong
When I dream I'm near you
Jet it tells me It's so wrong
What I feel about you

And I know you hate me now
I know you don't love me
I know it cause it's what I saw
When you gazed upon me

Feeling 'lone I now here stand
Hope you'll never know it.
Life goes on, my precious friend
But I don't want to join it.

Arms draw around my waist. It's the touch I know so well now, the one I feel every day, every night. Chang. He pulls me gently off the fence and holds me close.

My body is limp. I don't feel, I don't care. I don't talk, I don't eat, I don't sleep... I walk around the estate like a shadow. I come here often, to the observatory room. It's my little crest of death, my graveyard. The Duo Maxwell that I was died that very day, the justice angel has killed him after all. But he left his corpse. And as I try to reach myself again there always are hands that stop me, hold me, take me down from the fence that I have to jump from. Is this really called life?

I haven't got on any missions ever since then, the guys don't let me. Trowa says I still need to rest and Quatre forces me to eat. Just this morning he broke in tears over me, begging me to take a spoon of soup in my mouth. Ever seen Quatre cry? The pure crystal tears on his beautiful elfin face make you feel guilty of everything, even breathing! No wonder I ate...

But I can't stop thinking about Heero. I wonder where he is now... and how he managed to run away so fast... he's inhuman... he's an angel...

"Come, Duo," Chang whispers in my ear. His hands rubbing gently at my back. He moves back a bit, to see my eyes and he clenches his arms about my waist. He gazes upon me, his face serious, an abyss of worry within his true black almond eyes.

"I won't let you go," he whispers.

I'm grateful for all he's done for me, but this time I need to be let go. My life would stop hurting me.

He leans closer and kisses me on the lips.

It's my first kiss, but I don't feel it. I let his lips move on mine, his tongue inside my mouth.

Heero, where are you?

~ * ~

"It's Wing! Master Winner!" Rashid runs into the living room. Quatre hops on his feet from the sofa, book on the floor.

"You sure, Rashid?" he asks his Arabian servant, Trowa standing by his side like his shadow. The servant nods.

Heero... He has come back...

"Duo..." Quatre moves back on the sofa again, close to me. He smiles fairly at me and his eyes turn soft. "Duo, aren't you happy?"

Happy? I forgot what it's like to be happy. And why do they keep calling me Duo? I'm just a walking corpse. Heero hated Duo Maxwell, he'll hate his corpse too, so there's no reason for me to try to find out what happiness is again. It would be better for me to be dead and forgotten as I should be now...

I look away and stand up.

"I don't know, Quatre," I say coldly. My hair embraces my shoulders. I haven't braided it down for a long time now. I just tie it in a pony tail so it doesn't stick around or mess up. It's actually the one and only thing that keeps me going. My only goal in my life now is to take care of it. I get out of bed in the mornings just because I have to brush it, otherwise I'd just stay in bed. It's hard anyway. I've lost lots of weight and I got fragile and skinny. I know I'll die sooner or later, it's just a matter of time.

Quatre's wide eyes confused, sad. He stands up, arms open in despair. "I don't get it, Duo! Don't you love him?"

I stand immobile.

Love. The feeling that got me in this state in the first place. But do I still... the feelings faded away, I'm not sure. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to see Heero anymore. I want to die without him seeing me. I leave them, walking upstairs.

The stairs are so dark and wide, the stairway long... I've got it trough so many times and so many times I tried to reach Death... jet I never made it. I'll succeed this time. I have to.

The stairs end, there's only one door beyond me. The observatory room. It's dark, cold as always. I walk peacefully across the shining blue floor. I stand next to the telescope, it's shadow falls over my pale figure.

Chang isn't going to stop me this time. I've hurt him with my coldness... Last night he cradled me to my room, to my bed. He unbuttoned my shirt, revealed my whole body, covered it with kisses, his hands everywhere upon my pale skin but I... I hadn't felt anything... So he stopped and sat on the edge of my bed, just watching me. He caressed my face at last, stroking my hair off of it. Then he left.

In the morning Quatre told me he left for a mission, his eyes sad.

Gomen, Chang, gomen. It seems that wherever love springs around me something about me makes it fade away. It's sad... I guess.

As I recall the time I first saw Heero, I think I knew even then that I would fall in love with him. And that I would suffer. So I shot him, I could kill him, yet I couldn't. Even then I saw those white wings spreading trough the air about him.

When I was living in the curch father Maxwell told me that I'm no normal child. He said I can see the world, I can feel what other persons can't. He told me I'm an angel, an angel torn away from heaven, whom will kill many people because of God's will.

I didn't knew what he meant. I never knew that angels could kill before. I told him I wouldn't want to kill cause then I'd be lonely and sad.

Father Maxwell dipped his hand in his monkish suit and brought out a cross. He hung it around my neck. He then smiled and at me and said that I wouldn't be lonely. That a justice angel, sent by God, would come for me. And then lots of tall man dressed in dark came. They brought chaos and disaster... I gripped on father Maxwell's suit, as close as I could. I noticed he was calm, his face a pure reflection of piece. He begun praying.

And then they crashed into the church, bullets flying everywhere.

Suddenly father Maxwell begun to fall, his hands still clenched in a prayer. His body fell on the altar, his blood tracing over it, dipping the snow white tablecloth.

I was lost as a child but found as a pilot, a soldier in the saddle of Death Scythe, the apocalypse gundam.

Jet I still couldn't understand what father Maxwell meant, there were still puzzles missing... Until I met Heero. And I was sure the prophecy would come true when I got captured. He was the one to come and point a gun at me. He should have killed me then. I saw those wings again, those slender feathers, white as snow, pure as tears.

Something went wrong. He let me live, he even saved me... I almost thought he loved me then... I felt alive, full of hope, full of love... so I told him.

And here I am, dyeing.

I walk to the balcony and caress the cold metal fence. It almost feels funny how I can imagine it calling me. I glance at the harbor, at Death Scythe. It seems I have killed as much as God wanted me, there's only one victim to be made.

I climb up the fence.

The view is beautiful. The stars are bright and the night is so chill. I reach for my ponytail and I set my hair free leaving the light breeze play with it.

This is it.

Heero,...
... I've loved you. I'm doing it for you.

The breeze turns into a strong wind and I let myself go. I'm falling, for real. I wonder if it's gonna hurt when I hit the ground since my body doesn't feel anymore...

The air steam has stopped, and there's a rumor of an engine. I open my eyes and I...

I see two cobalt blue eyes, deep and dark. Heero. I gaze upon him, coldly... but I'm amused too. He's crouching on Wing's opened cockpit, holding me. He caught me, he interfered with the fall. Why? Why has he stopped me?

"Duo no baka...!" A tear slides down his cheek. Heero... Why are you crying, tenshi? He sweeps me on his chest, he holds me close.

"Why don't you let me die, Heero? Don't ya wanna kill me?" I muff in his shoulder.

He doesn't say a thing. He brings me inside Wing and closes the cockpit. We now sits in the command chair, I'm in his lap. He pulls some levers and I can feel the gundam take off. He sets some coordinates and then pushes on the auto pilot. He then gazes on me.

It's strange, his eyes seem alive now. He strokes softly my hair and then gently pulls me down on him. As his hands draw about me I see his wings again. My dear dear tenshi...

"Aishiteru too," comes somewhere from above me. "Gomen, If it took me so long... Duo."

It's OK, my koi, my only.

I can feel a new and strong flame within my heart. I feel like living again. I feel like loving, I feel like talking and I'm hungry and tired. I nuzzle above Heero's collarbone and close my eyes.

I love you so much, tenshi. Don't leave my side. Ever again.

~*Owari

Kitsu: *turns big glistering eyes at the readers* Please send me some feedback, please! Alright; PRETTY PLEASE!! I'll even force Duo and Heero to make out in your bathroom for you! I'll do anything! . duo_loves_heero_@hotmail.com