::The Cast Takes A Break::

Disclaimer: All characters herein are mine, i.e. 'Atce, 'Mora, 'Moren etc., whereas places are Brain Jacques... WAIT. Did I just write a reasonable disclaimer? *Screams*

A/N: Behind the scenes: When the cast takes a break...

*

The cast of What Really Counts and TYATO were in the lounge of the set, a nice, large clean cut white room with couches, tables, books, and other accessories that would never have been found in the story or the Redwall time period for a fact. In one corner, there was a dark, crazily long haired human, AKA ME! crouched over a small table with Rapieratce on the other end.

'Check!'

Smiling wryly, the colonel moved his bishop up diagonally.

'Check.'

'Damn you.'

Moving her knight up, she tried in vain to get access to check the hare's king, only to get eaten by the queen. Rapieratce, on the other hand, checkmated her in five moves. On the other side of the room, Remora was tapping away on a computer keyboard and clicking away with the mouse, when all of a sudden she gave a small gasp. When the human looked up, she went pale.

'Uh oh. Big uh oh.'

Dashing up, she scrambled to get to the computer screen. Placing herself firmly in front of it, she shook her head frantically.

'No nonononononononononononono. You cannot surf fanfiction.net OR the RFF. NIL. ZIP!'

Remora tried to push her away. The human stood fast. By then, a curious crowd had gathered to see. Daleria and Glamoren both grabbed the human and tugged her away from the screen. Clawing at thin air, she tried desperately to get to the computer before Remora could click on the Redwall section of Fanfiction.net. Clandestine watched from one side as she sipped a hot cocoa, while Consellariel looked on with an amused look on her face. The human whined.

'Let go of me!'

The two hares paid her no heed, instead dumping her on a couch and standing guard. The human winced when she heard an outraged cry come up from the computer, and instantly put on her earphones from her newly purchased Walkman and snapped on the Devil's Trill by Vannesa Mae as loudly as she could, hoping that the violin would drown out the screeching. The minute Glamoren and Daleria rushed off to see the matter, the human zipped behind Rapieratce, cowering in fear as she watched Glamoren, Daleria and Remora, not to mention Longrunn, head her way with murderous looks in their eyes. Obviously, they weren't too happy with the authors notes in many of the chapters of WRC... The colonel watched with an amused look on his face, alternating between the hiding author and the advancing hares. Finally, he stood up.

'Watch yourselves, no killing is to be done here.'

Four evil eyes swung his way as the hares slowly backed off. The author dashed to the computer. Daleria tried to grab her first, but panic drove her to run madly. Reaching the keyboard, she managed to type in a few major commands before she was dragged off. The major keys were Ctrl, Alt and Delete.

*

Rightfully blue black and hiding behind the colonel again, the injured human sook solace in her copy of The Long Patrol. She soon remembered that Rapieratce was a book fan, albeit a bit too late. The colonel had already extracted the copy from her hands and was reading. Sighing, she wondered what she was to do before getting up and reaching for a laptop. Smiling evilly at the unaware hares, she began to type.

Musical Parody of the Unaware Author and the Day on Salamandastron.

Consellariel:

The world was dark when flames were aspew,
hares were none, badgers a few
when dusk came pouring into dawn,
the fire mountain, alas, was born!
We came unto its might halls,
and extracted deep its mighty walls,
and barren land we turned again,
in beating sun and pouring rain!

Rapieratce:

And so within these halls of stone,
our battling swords, they creak and groan,
the sergeant yells, the captain swells,
and chaos reigns as far as hell!
The colonel runs around the place,
trying to rid world of disgrace,
but with Eulalia yell and crazed eyes alight,
we started some sort of mad sword fight!

Longrunn:

The days were long, the nights were cold,
the forges fire was ashen cold,
she badger lady stuck with silly string,
and rum and vodka in glasses ring!
Our duties lay shed upon the floor,
the party going on ever more!
And nutty songs and crazy plays,
it continued on till end of days!

Clandestine:

But woe to us as soon as seem,
a fox came plundering up the stream!
He fought with blades and chaos made,
along with it he took my head!
He stuffed a few friends down the drain,
and taught us how to deal out pain,
with mighty strokes while eating cream,
he made the eccentric author scream!

Glamoren:

He yelled at us to make us fight,
and fight we did all through the night,
he asked us fight now once again,
but we stopped and started to play a game!
The corporal's lying on the floor,
after playing Twister so galore,
the sergeant's giggling in rich champagne,
in Monopoly he won his fame!
In Game of Life the captain excelled,
threw taxes down the local well,
while in RPGs the colonel thought,
he really loved and thus he fought!

Daleria:

But woe begot we stopped the games,
the music playing thus it came!
Hares dancing macarena through the night,
while rapping sergeants instilled fright!
Though Eminem we surely played,
Vivaldi came and surely slew,
the All Saints tunes we started sing,
Toni Braxton took to wing!
And mighty Brian Adams singing soul,
Tina Turner down the hell hole,
and Snoop Dog down with Doctor Dre,
threw R. Kelly down into the fray!
While Nelly blasted through the night,
Furtado sang with all her might!

Dallaw:

Three Doors Down sang Kryptonite,
Creed hollered on My Sacrifice!
And Garbage sang with Cherry Lips,
Jennifer Paige sent living tips!
Backstreet Boys sang Larger than Life,
Which Artful Dodger kicked out all right,
with Craig David and Gangsta's Paradise,
sang by Coolio, it turned with vice,
Linkin Park which Ran Away,
Smashmouth came back singing away,
his soulful tune Walking On the Sun,
By The Way Red Hot Chilli Peppers make the fun!
What We're All About, Sum 41,
while Mya made Mis-Teeq go run,
Oasis sang the Hindu Times,
which Ja Rule tipped off with dirty rhymes!

Ridgefur:

We visited places we never been,
like Madison Square and Oxford green,
the Pyramids Of Khufu stood,
as The Statue of Liberty never could!
Upon-Avon sang sonnets of old,
the wrong Bridge of London wrongly sold,
and places that may never be,
Atlantis the missing sunken city!

Deternian:

And we sent the fox down on his way,
the vermin died, hip hip hooray!
And we laughed and played,
till end of day,
and soon we went abed to sleep.
But alas when we awoke we were to keep,
a pained reminder that ended slower,
the gifted pains of a hangover!

Grinning, she passed the script to Rapieratce before turning tail and fleeing to watch the newly written musical played out from a safer distance where throwing daggers, sabres, rapiers, pikes, lances and javelins were out of range.