FIVE HEARTS
Five hearts. Five hearts that use to beat and crack inside of my chest from time to time. And they do it like mad, they make my body shiver.
There was a time when they stood silent, when I had to listen very carefully to hear any of five of them, beating separately. There was a time when I though they died, when I thought that they just turned to stone and started to crumble away. Even when I kept telling myself that I finally found the relief, and thinking like 'What for do I need these hearts?"- there was still a heavy feeling of fear inside of me which I couldn't deny or forget about.
And then you appeared. You came into my life. You get into my privacy made of money, pain and fear, you signified and trampled your own stupid trails in my life, you were cursing, bleeding and keeping on telling me all these stupid things.
And I don't know when but the fear of losing my hearts disappeared. I don't how long it took me to realize that, but I got angry. Angry and horrified. Just because the meaning of it all was that...
...that my stone hearts lived again because of you. They lived for you.
They lived for that unbalanced moron and fanatic, who doesn't even listen to anyone speaking to him. They lived again for that complete idiot. I can count like that more and more, but there's no sense in it at all.
It's simply useless. It would be enough for you to cut it all and make me angry again to hold tight on my shoulder and start to beg for another senseless stupid thing that you don't even need. And then, like under a command my hearts start their beating again, strongly and surely. And I do my best to make sure you never notice.
***
You laughed and blood dripped unpretty on your lips. Just a moment before you were squeaking into my ear, telling me that you'll die of hunger if I will not buy the dango for you. And later on, when in panic I was doing my best to appease the run of my hearts, you suddenly felt them. Not thinking for too long - it looks like you're not thinking at all, like it's a question of impulse for you - you adjoined your ear to my chest fitted by the coat. Then, with a voice of victory you spoke out loud that you've just head the beating of my heart. And then I hit you, too hard, because of the emotions taking over me. And you... of course, you didn't understand and turned it all out into another silly joke.
And it doesn't really matter no more. It doesn't really matter that I would go and buy that damn dango for you this time.
You walk and silently mumble something under your nose. Something that surely is just another prayer filled with curses. People we pass on the street are looking at you, they are looking at the brown, dry spots of blood in the corner of your mouth. The blood that you have already forget about.
And I'm angry. When we're alone again I grip you by the collar like you're a spoiled child, I turn you back on me. I can see that you're just about to spit out another curse. I catch you by the chin, heave it up and wipe the blood off from your face. I put so much of my rough condescension into this gesture... just to make sure you think I don't give a damn about it. And you...
And you, probably not thinking at all about what you're just doing - you just closed your eyes and catched my finger between your lips.
And nothing, completely nothing could make me stop hitting you again. One more time. And once again.
I stopped when you pressed your fingers together on my coat. Then you whispered gently through the bleeding nose, you asked me to keep going. You kept one hand on my coat while second was on your side with two ribs broken by me. Blood was still going down your chin when you kept talking. And I swear to God - I've never ever heard another avowal of love so much filled with "cunts", "fucks" and "motherfucking". And I truly doubt hearing anything like that ever again in my life.
I doubt it, because each time I hear you talking like that the beating of my hearts is so loud, that it stuns all and everything.
END
by ZebraDeath. Hidan&Kakuzu belongs to M. Kishimoto.