Author's Note: This story takes place right after the episodes Cutie Map Part 1 and 2. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are in an established relationship, and are engaged to be married. Unknown to every pony, Starlight Glimmer had an even darker side, and Fluttershy alone with her was abused in the worse kind of way. When she tells her fiancée about what happened, Rainbow Dash freaks out and temporarily takes off, causing Fluttershy to do something dramatic. After everything that happened, will the Elements of Harmony be able to recover? Will Rainbow Dash be able to make up for the drastic results of her taking off? And, more importantly will Fluttershy be able to recover from this horrible event? (Warning: story contains description of sexual assault (but not the actual act), and self-harm (only in chapter one)). The majority of this story is the path to recovery after a sexual assault.
Author's Note 2: I'm still looking for a beta reader if anyone is interested or knows anyone that is interested send me a PM. Thanks!
Part 1
It took Twilight a moment to figure out what had waken her. She'd been sleeping peacefully, in an actual bed, for the first time in days, and she had fallen into a deep slumber the moment her head had hit the pillow. It was a bonus that she didn't have to hear that annoying droning voice attempting to brainwash her and friends echoing in her mind.
"Twilight wake up" the voice whispered again, more persistently. It took the alicorn a moment to remember she was sharing a bed with her pink fur friend. The village didn't have many extra room, so the six of them had paired up. Rainbow Dash was of course with her fiancée, Fluttershy, AppleJack was rooming with Rarity, so that left her and Pinkie Pie. Which one might think was a bad thing, but actually wasn't, the caking loving pony was always quick to fall asleep after an adventure, and she was a sound sleeper, and a quiet bedmate, better than AppleJack who kicked or Rarity who insisted on having the bed a certain way.
"Hm?" Was all Twilight's sleep filled brain could come up with at the moment.
"It's Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, they're fighting!" Pinkie Pie whispered in a voice too loud to actually be considered quiet anymore.
"Fight? Fluttershy?" Twilight questioned. She couldn't imagine their pink haired friend getting so worked up that's she'd be fighting in the middle of the night in borrowed room right next to her best friends.
"Well…" Pinkie Pie trailed off in a very Pinkie Pie manner, "From what I can hear Rainbow Dash is doing most of the fighting."
Then Twilight heard them, their voices were muffled, but with the paper thin walls, they could just make out what Rainbow Dash was saying.
"Stop saying you're sorry!" the voice in the other room did sound strangely angry, with another tone they weren't used to hearing in their rainbow haired friend's voice, panic.
The only response they could hear from Fluttershy was a quiet sob.
"Stop it!" their friend stout again. "Why would you even say that?!"
They heard Fluttershy stutter something, but couldn't make out her words.
"What'd ya think they're fighting about?" Pinkie Pie questioned suddenly inches away from Twilight's face.
"I don't know, they seemed fine when we said goodnight." Twilight flinched as she heard Rainbow Dash shout something she couldn't quite make out but sounded like a string of curse words then Fluttershy stutter something that sounded like her asking Rainbow Dash to calm down.
"Did they?" Pinkie Pie jumped to the floor, turning on the only light in the room, a bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling.
"Well, Fluttershy did seem a little quiet." Twilight thought back about the yellowed fur pony, she had seemed a little off, but she'd chalked it up to her just being tired.
"Fluttershy is always quiet Twilight!" Pinkie Pie shouted.
"I know that…" Twilight didn't finish her thought, a loud crash came Pegasus ponies' room. It sounded like some pony had thrown something. She wondered if the Pegasus pair always fought like this, Fluttershy was not the fighting type, but definitely was Rainbow Dash was, Twilight hoped Rainbow wasn't picking on their animal loving friend. She guessed she were going to find out, considering her and Pinkie Pie were already headed for the Cloudsdale flyers' room.
AppleJack and Rarity actually beat them to the room. The scene that greeted the princess was one of Fluttershy sobbing into AppleJack's neck in front of a thrown open window. Which, Twilight guessed was what had caused the crashing noise, and where Rainbow Dash had exited from.
"What happened?" Twilight questioned, looking to Rarity who was standing by pair looking back and forth between the scene in the room and the open window.
"Don't ask me" She flipped her hair like she tended to do when nervous or upset. "We just got here, just in time to see Rainbow Dash taking off, running from the mess she created, like always." Rarity stressed the word she and like always.
"It isn't her fault," Fluttershy sobbed defending her lover. It was her way to always defend the people she loved.
"Sugarcube, I'm sure you didn't do nothing to warrant all the shouting we heard." AppleJack pet her friend's mane in an attempt to calm her down.
"But I did!" Fluttershy choked, looking up, the snot from her nose mixing with the tears running down her face. She was obviously very upset.
"Did what?" Twilight questioned ignoring the glare from AppleJack.
"I was too weak," Fluttershy tried to bury her face in AppleJack's mane again, hiding her face.
"Darling, you are not weak, we've seen you make a full grown dragon cry, some weak pony could not have done that." Rarity fidgeted with her hair some more.
"No!" Fluttershy shouted one of her louder voices. "I am weak! I couldn't stop her. She said if I didn't do what she wanted she'd get you instead, so I had to… I couldn't let her hurt you… but I should have stop her. I shouldn't have been such a weak coward! I should have been stronger. "
"Me?" Rarity questioned pointing at herself unsure of what Fluttershy meant by you.
"What are you talking about sweetums?" AppleJack questioned, ignoring Rarity.
"Starlight Glimmer!" Fluttershy cried into AppleJack's hair. "She made me… I couldn't stop her… and Rainbow Dash was so upset… So upset! She's so mad… So upset at me! For not being strong enough… for letting her do those things to me… If I wasn't so weak, if I was only stronger… I could have stopped her… stopped her… not done what she said… not let her touch me like that…"
Twilight felt a sick feeling in her stomach as she started to realize what Fluttershy was saying. A look around the room told her that her friends were starting to catch on too, even Pinkie Pie was starting to get the crazed look she got when someone hurt someone she loved.
"Couldn't stop her from doing what?" Rarity was the first to get the courage to ask.
Fluttershy didn't answer, she just buried her head even deeper into AppleJack's mane, now silently sobbing.
"Made you do what?" AppleJack used her hoof to pull the yellow furred pony's face out of her mane. Fluttershy's eyes held a look of sorrow and terror that none of them would ever forget.
"She made me do… bedroom stuff…" Fluttershy didn't want to come out and say it, she couldn't come out and say it, it would make it too real, it was already awful enough. "Stuff you should only do with your special some pony. Stuff I was only supposed to do with Rainbow Dash." And that was it for Fluttershy, she couldn't take it anymore, the shocked looks on her friends' faces, the looks of horror and disgust, she just couldn't. She fell into herself, trying to burrow into the floor, covering her head with her front hoofs, sobbing into the floor.
The four elements of harmony were motionless for a few long seconds, all attempting to process what they'd just heard.
Rarity was the first to vocalize her response with a simple quiet, "no." She covered her mouth looking pale even for her, she fought the impulse to faint.
"What?" Was all Pinkie Pie could manage, even though she knew full well what her friend Fluttershy was saying. She could feel the air in her hair deflating. She was at lost to find anything happy at the moment.
Twilight couldn't say anything, she was too busy feeling the guilt she had no doubt she'd feel for the rest of her long life over what she'd let, made, happen to one of her best friends, to one of, no, to the kindest pony in Equestria.
AppleJack just said the most truthful thing she could think of, "It wasn't your fault honey." She couldn't understand why Fluttershy would blame herself for something so horrible, and she did not understand why Rainbow Dash would shout at the timid pony after hearing the news, that's she'd just take off, leaving her fiancée alone feeling like she'd done something wrong.
"It was!" Fluttershy continued to cry into the floor. No pony made a move to stop her, no pony having any idea how you comfort a pony after what had happened to her.
"She just kept saying how I had to be a good filly, do what she said, or she'd hurt you ponies, that she'd make you ponies do it instead, so I… so I did what she said," Fluttershy stuttered. "She used her magic, to… to hold me down… I should have been quicker… I shouldn't have went back into the house after I found out she had our cutie marks…. I should have been braver, less stupid. I shouldn't have let this happen!" Fluttershy lifted her hand then brought it back to the floor hard enough to cause a loud bang, attempting to erase the memories from her mind.
"No, don't do that sweetie." AppleJack moved in pulling Fluttershy up from the floor into her arm.
"Why not?" Fluttershy whimpered.
"Because we love you, and don't want you to suffer anymore." AppleJack believed her words but did not for the life of her know how they were going to fix their friend's suffering.
"Yes," the other ponies the room chimed in.
"I'm not worth it," Fluttershy's voice was almost too tiny to hear, but years of being her friends had given them all Fluttershy hearing, so they couldn't made out her shyest voice. AppleJack held her tighter at those words.
"You are worth it!" Rarity practically shouted, stressing all her words.
"You are worth a thousand worth it's!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
"Oh Fluttershy," Twilight knelt down in front of her friend, so they were eye level. "You're worth ten times the love we give you. You are our best friend, an element a harmony, kindness, and you are one of the greatest ponies I'll ever meet. You are worth it."
Fluttershy eyes welled up with even more tears are her dear friend's words, she wanted them to be true, she did, but…
"Then why did Rainbow Dash leave?" she questioned softly.
There again was silence in the room, none of the ponies knowing what Rainbow Dash was thinking, and how she could have walked, flown out, at such a moment.
"I don't know," Twilight finally answered truthfully. "But, I'm going to find out." With that she stood up, extending her wings, giving her friend's one last pleading glance to take care of Fluttershy, before taking off into the night.
She could hear her dear friend's sobs as she flew away.
####
It turned out Rainbow Dash was not hard to find, Twilight just had to fly up, and she soon heard the shouting.
So she flew up and up, towards her screaming friend, who seemed to just be shouting out in frustration as she destroyed the clouds so high in the sky that they were normally left alone.
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight shouted when she thought she was in hearing range, but Dash didn't seem to or want to hear her.
"Rainbow!" Twilight shouted again, this time gasping for breath, the rainbow haired pony had flown so high up that there was less oxygen in the air. Twilight didn't think she'd ever been this high up, and she felt slightly dizzy as she looked down and landed on a cloud.
"What do you want Twilight?" Rainbow Dash struck a cloud close to the one holding the Princess.
"What are you doing, Rainbow?" Twilight gulped, trying to get enough air in her lungs. She'd read about this Pegasus ponies had special lungs that allowed them to fly at high altitude, with enough practice, which she obviously did not have.
"I'm making a clear sky, what does it look like I'm doing?" Dash snapped. She didn't know what she was doing, she had no idea what she was supposed to do.
"Why?" Twilight managed. She began focusing on her breathing so she didn't pass out.
"Because, what else would I be doing?" Rainbow Dash destroyed another cloud, ignoring the obvious distress her friend was in. "Should I be with Fluttershy?"
"Yes!" Twilight felt anger, it helped with the dizziness.
"Why?" The blue Pegasus felt tears stinging her eyes, she shook them away. "Why? Why should I be with Flutters? I couldn't even protected her from one fucking cult leading, brainwashing unicorn, how am I going to help her? I couldn't protect her Twilight! I didn't stop this from happening! I did nothing! I might as well have let it happen!"
"You did not let this happen," Twilight felt her own guilt washing over her again. Rainbow Dash might not have cause it to happen, but she sure as hell did. "I'm the one that told her to do it. I'm the one that put her in the situation. If anyone is to blame, it is me."
"You did put her in the situation." Rainbow Dash felt her anger switching from the cloud to her purple friend, it was so much easier to be angry that some pony else than herself. "Why would you do that? Why would you let Fluttershy go up against a whole cult by herself?!"
"I… I don't know…" Twilight answered truthfully, starting to feel the strain of low oxygen again.
"I was stupid, we all should have known better, Starlight Glimmer was fucking crazy, we all knew that!" Dash felt her vision going red, which normally was a sign that she needed to take off, get away from whatever was making her anger boil, but not today, not with this, someone had to pay, and Starlight Glimmer was not going to be found anytime soon, so some pony had to take her place.
"I know," Twilight's voice strained against the wind that had started to pick up. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Rainbow Dash scream. "Sorry? Tell that to Fluttershy! See if that helps! Or maybe we can just use the fucking magic of friendship. That help's rape victim's right?"
Twilight gasped slightly at the word she'd been avoiding thinking let alone saying.
"What? You don't like that word? Is it too harsh for your princess reality? Rape, because that's what happened, Fluttershy was raped" The words coming out of Rainbow Dash's mouth had a life of their own know, and she couldn't stop them even if she wanted too.
"You can't deal with the fact that your stupid selfish decision may have ruined Fluttershy forever?"
"Fluttershy isn't ruined." Twilight knew she couldn't reason with her friend when she was so upset, but she couldn't help herself from trying. "How could you say that?"
"That isn't want I meant!" Rainbow Dash snapped. "What she is, was, how can she ever go back? How can we ever go back? How can I ever go back?"
"This isn't about you Rainbow Dash." Twilight knew she was giving advice she couldn't keep, because her own mind was thinking about her own failure, but she had to snap Rainbow Dash out of it.
"Yeah, I know that!" Rainbow Dash snapped.
"Then why are you up here having a temper tantrum?" Twilight was starting to lose her sympathy for her friend.
"Why are you up here? Shouldn't you be ruining someone else's life?" Dash shot back.
"Really Rainbow Dash, you don't think I feel bad enough about what happened? You don't think I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life?" Twilight tried to fight the tears forming in her eyes. She knew her friend was just speaking out of anger but it still stung.
"No! I don't think you feel bad enough, none of us do, how could we? We weren't the ones who were raped!" Rainbow Dash started flying in a zigzag motion, she was so angry she felt like she was going to explode. She hadn't been this pissed in years.
"Fine Rainbow, if it will make you feel better, I'll take the blame, I'll take all the blame," Twilight knew as a princess it actually was her responsibility. "Now what?"
Rainbow Dash felt her anger boil over and did something then that she hadn't done for a long time, she lunged, tackling her friend, starting a fight.
Twilight was not ready for the attack and as she rolled to push her friend off they both fell off the cloud. Rainbow Dash quickly reorient herself, but in the time it took Twilight to figure which way was up and which way was down, the blue pony was already on top of her, fighting her and they both spiraled towards the ground. Twilight tried to block the punches that her friend dealt, mostly unsuccessfully, but attempted to wrestle her off, but did not try to land any blows. She knew her friend had to work out her anger, and on some level she felt like she deserved it. She only did one thing on the way down, right before they hit the ground, she twisted so she'd take the brunt of the ground. She knew from experience that it would hurt, but she'd survive it. She'd dented a mountain, she could take hitting the ground. Which they did, hard, knocking the wind out of her lungs, but seeming to do nothing to the rainbow hair pony, who quickly got up and started screaming at the houses around them. Calling out the ponies that lived in them, daring them to come out and face her, to face what they had allowed to happen.
#####
The three non-flying ponies huddled around their dear friend, trying to comfort her as she silently shook, trying to do anything they could to comfort her, the only thing they could do to help. The loud boom, and sudden shake of the floor started them all, making even Fluttershy get up to peer out the window. What they saw was a Twilight Sparkles laying on her back in a small crater, seeming dazed but okay, and Rainbow Dash standing in the street all the hair on her back standing up, ears back, as she screamed at the rows of houses.
"Come out you cowards!" She screamed. "Come out and face what you let happen!"
Fluttershy couldn't take the sight, she sank down to the ground and covered her head again.
"Gosh darn her," AppleJack muttered to herself, knowing the flying pony probably better than any of them besides of course Fluttershy.
"Watch her," she whispered to the two, before leaving to stop her idiot friend.
"What?" Rainbow Dash continued to scream. Lights were turning on in the houses, and she could see some ponies peering out their windows. "No one want to face me? Is everyone in this town cowards? It is bad enough you all allowed yourselves to be brainwashed, but you also left a monster in control? Did she fuck anyone else in this worthless town? Did she take anyone else's fiancée?"
Rainbow Dash stomped her hooves pacing between the houses, "Did she rape any pony else in this stupid village?!"
"That's enough RD," AppleJack carefully stepped in front of her friend. "Screaming at them isn't gonna do nothing."
"They deserve to hear this!" Dash screamed.
"I know," AppleJack agreed. "But it ain't gonna do a thing, it ain't gonna make anything better."
"But…" Rainbow Dash said in a sudden small voice, "I don't know what else to do…. I don't know how to fix this…"
"You ain't gonna fix this Dash, at least not right away, and you definitely will get nowhere screaming into you the night. You need to be with Fluttershy. She needs you."
"I don't know what to do…" Dash felt tears coming to her eyes again.
"No one does RD, but we're gonna have to figure it out as we go, okay?"
Rainbow Dash nodded looking at the ground.
"Good, now let's get ya back to Fluttershy, she needs to know that this is not her fault and you still care about her. You do still care about her right?"
"Of course I do!" Rainbow was shocked that anyone would even think she didn't love Fluttershy, that she could ever stop loving her.
"Well, you're doing a bad job showing it." AppleJack nodded at Twilight who had managed to get back on her feet and had made her way over to her friends.
"I know…" Rainbow Dash kicked at the dirt. "Sorry Twilight, I didn't mean to almost murder you…"
"Murder?" AppleJack muttered, but dropped it.
"No worries, I'm Alicorn tough." Twilight knew she was going to be sore for a couple of days but she'd be fine.
Rainbow Dash couldn't spare even a chuckle as she turned towards the small house they were sharing. No one expected a panic Rarity to come bolting out of the house.
"Twilight!" She screamed. "Fluttershy needs you now!"
#####
As soon as AppleJack had left the room Fluttershy could not take it any longer. Everyone was upset, Rainbow Dash was shouting on the street, calling her a coward, which was exactly what she felt like, a coward. If she been less of a wimp, she could have gotten their cutie marks, and gotten them out of there before Starlight Glimmer had been able to hurt her, to use her. God, she just felt so dirty, the three showers she'd managed to take felt like they'd done nothing, she could still feel her skin crawl, and the worst however was the taste she could still feel in her mouth, she had to get rid of that disgusting taste. Before her two friends could stop her, she was up, running into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.
"Fluttershy?" Her friends quickly followed. Rarity lightly knocking on the door.
"I just need a minute," Fluttershy lied. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a toothbrush and toothpaste. She pushed a large amount of paste onto the brush, wetted it, before violently being to brush her teeth. She used at much force as she could, quickly tasting blood, but ignoring it. She just wanted her mouth to feel clean again.
"Fluttershy?" Rarity tried again. "Do please come out? Let us help?"
"Are you brushing your teeth?" Pinkie Pie shouted. "Seems like an odd time for that."
"Shush," Rarity scolded. "I'm sure she has her reasons."
"Oh…" Pinkie Pie could feel her hair deflate even more.
"I'm fine," Fluttershy talked through the paste in her mouth. It wasn't enough. She rinsed the toothbrush off, looking for something else to get the dirt out of her mouth. Soap might help, she thought to herself. Grabbing the bar, and rubbing her brush against it until it was coated. She then began brushing her teeth again as hard as she could. The soap tasted awful, and it burned in the small cuts in her gums but she ignored the pain. She brushed till her hoof hurt, ignoring her friends' pleas to open the door, but it still wasn't enough. She threw down the brush in disgust, it wasn't strong enough. She eyed the bar of soap again before picking it up and applying it directly to her teeth. She would get them clean soon enough.
"Fluttershy, dear, if you don't open this door soon I'm afraid we're going to have to break it down." Rarity was starting to really worry, she could hear Fluttershy doing something in the bathroom, but she was not sure what.
"Please come out Fluttershy," Pinkie Pie begged. "I'll make your favorite lemon cake."
"No," Fluttershy thought to herself. "No" this is not enough. She threw the soap against the wall before opening the cabinet again, looking for anything to help. There was a bottle of mouth wash, which she grabbed drinking it all, it burned but it didn't help.
"Fluttershy?" Rarity panicked. "We need to get this door open now," she spoke to Pinkie Pie.
"Oh it," Pinkie Pie pushed Rarity to the side, getting ready to ram the door.
Fluttershy gave up on the medicine cabinet, it had nothing that could help, nothing that could get the dirt out of her mouth, nothing that could get the taste out, nothing that could help her forget what happened. She kicked open the cabinet under the sink, inside were several large bottles. She pulled out the one she recognized, some chemical used to clean bathroom. Well, if it can clean toilets than it can clean my mouth, right? She thought to herself. It would get the dirt out of her mouth, and it would definitely get rid of the taste. She pulled off the top and tilted the bottle up to her mouth. This would fix her problem….
Rarity and Pinkie Pie made it into the room right as Fluttershy had finished most of the bottle. By that time the pain was so intense that she dropped the bottle and fell over onto her side.
"Oh my god!" Rarity scream, picking up the now empty bottle. "She didn't… she couldn't… how much did she…"
"We have to assume she drank it all," Pinkie Pie took over. "Go get Twilight," She ordered. "Now!" she screamed when Rarity hesitated. Pinkie Pie then turned her full attention to her friend as she pulled the baking powder out of her hair along with a glass, she was always prepared. She mixed a large amount of the powered with water from the sink and leaned down to her friend.
"Fluttershy, I need you to drink this," she commanded. She'd taken enough babysitting classes, she knew the worst thing to do was to make her vomit, and that she had to dilute to the chemicals in her stomach. Fluttershy did not respond, but a white foamy substance was starting to form around her mouth.
"Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie shouted. This got the mare's attention, at least a little. "Drink this!" she held the cup up to yellow pony's mouth.
"Sorry…" Fluttershy voice was so raw.
"No sorries, just drinking!" Pinkie Pie pushed the glass closer and Fluttershy finally took a sip. It seemed like forever before their friends made it up to the bathroom, but by the time they did Pinkie Pie had managed to get her to drink the whole glass.
"Oh my god, oh my god," Rainbow Dash sobbed as she ran to her fiancée's side. Fluttershy looked at her eye's rolling back in her head.
"We have to do something! We have to get her to a doctor!" Dash panicked. She picked her mare friend up and went to go towards the door.
"No!" Twilight ordered, finally taking control. "There are no doctors near enough that we can get to quickly enough."
"Then what are we going to do?" Dash shouted.
Twilight didn't respond, and she formed her plan in her head. The first thing she did was freeze her friend inside a small time bubble. Something she'd read about but never tried. It kept whatever was in the small pink bubble frozen in time for as long as she could hold the spell, which she did not think was very long.
"What did you do?" Rainbow Dash cried.
"I stopped time for her." Twilight answered as quickly as she could. "Now I have to take up to the Crystal City."
"Why the Crystal City?" AppleJack question. "Manehattan is closer."
"Yes, but they don't have any pony I can link to, I've never teleported this far before, but I know my brother, we're connected on some level, if I can focus on him, I should be able to get to the city, where hopefully the doctors can help."
"Then what are we waiting for, let's go!" Rainbow Dash moved next to her lover.
"No Rainbow, I don't have enough power, I don't even know if I can do this, we'll have to meet you there."
Rainbow Dash looked like she was going to argue, but AppleJack put her arm around her pulled in her back.
"I'll fly there, I'll meet you soon," Rainbow Dash shouted.
"Go," AppleJack told the Princess.
Twilight gave them one last nod before closing her eyes and concentrating on her brother as hard as she could hoping against hope that her plan would work, that she'd be able to save her friend.