Late night with Marauders
Disclaimer - Harry Potter is owned by J.K Rowling
A/N- written for QLFC round 1
Main prompt - BEATER 2: Write an AU you've never written before
Additional prompts - (word) divorce,(au) Talk show
"Lumos!" With that, the whole room illuminated with light. James entered stepped out onto the stage, dressed in bright green robes. The audience started to cheer and clap loudly. James smiled and waved at them like he was royalty. Remus, Sirius and Peter traipsed out to join him. The stage was in reality the top end of the Great Hall, which had been elevated for the evening.
"Hullo girls and boys. Welcome to Late Night with the Marauders, and your host, the wonderful me: James Potter. So, what did the unicorn say to the werewolf? Nothing, he ran for his life!"
While half the audience laughed, Remus winced, and felt like whacking James over the head for that joke.
"For tonight, we have a music performance from our very own Sirius Black, the big discussion, and a chat with tonight's guest," James informed them. He paused to clear his throat.
"Tonight's big discussion: should inter-house dating be allowed? Do you think Gryffindors should date Slytherins? I mean, have you seen those chicks? They aren't that hot — but some of the ex-Slytherins were. Especially Narcissa Black, with her beautiful, cold face, blonde hair and her big—" Before James could complete his sentence, someone threw a shoe at him. Everyone turned to see who it was. They came face to face with a very angry Lily, who was glaring daggers at him. James just gulped.
"You had the hots for my cousin? That's just gross, mate," Sirius said.
"So, guys, what do you think — should Slytherins and Gryffindor date?" Remus asked. Half of the audience shouted no, much to Remus' annoyance.
"I think house doesn't matter as long as two people love each other," Remus said thoughtfully.
"You can't comment on this! You are in the crew," Sirius said, irritated.
"I can have my opinion."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"Ah ha, so you're admitting that you wanna date a Slytherin. Who is it — Snivellus, my brother, Barty Crouch Jr?"
"Both of you, shut up!" James shouted. Both Marauders looked at their friend in annoyance. James cleared his throat and said, "We have an ongoing show, remember?"
Both men glanced at the audience, embarrassed.
"Moving on, let's welcome tonight's guest. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a huge round of applause for Headmaster Dumbledore." As Dumbledore entered, some students cheered while others looked on in shock. Dumbledore smiled and took his seat.
"Thank you for having me, Mr Potter."
"So, Headmaster, we've heard of your alleged relationship with a professor. How much truth is in it?" James asked innocently.
Dumbledore just chuckled. "Dear boy, I have no idea where these rumours come from. Minerva and I are just friends."
"Who said I was talking about Professor McGonagall? In fact, I was talking about a certain Potions Master," James said cheekily.
Remus slapped his forehead and closed his eyes in mortification. What the hell was Prongs doing?
"Wait, talking about Professor Slughorn—" Sirius cut in. "Is it true that you're responsible for Professor Slughorn's divorce? Slughorn woke up one day and realized he liked men. We saw you guys — ow!" Sirius cried as Remus elbowed him in the ribs.
"Moving on, it's time for Sirius' performance. I've heard you'll be singing about love," Remus said, trying to defuse the situation.
"No, I won't. The person I love doesn't even care about me," Sirius replied with a pout. The girls in the audience started to protest while James looked helplessly at was smiling with amusement.
"Uh Moony, I think you should sing," Peter piped up.
"W-what?" Remus asked, horrified.
"You should do it, my boy," Dumbledore encouraged.
"Yeah, Remus, you have a go," Sirius mocked. Remus narrowed his eyes.
"Fine." He flicked his wand to summon the guitar from the side of the room and stood in center of the stage. Some the audience started to laugh.
"Go home, Lupin, this isn't Potions class," one girl shouted.
Remus cleared his throat and spoke: "This song is for the person I love. I just wanna tell them… how much of a twat they are." Then, he started to strum the guitar.
You are stuck in my heart
Like counting a million stars
For that many reasons you are
As Remus started to sing, the people who were laughing at him stopped, awestruck. As he finished the song, Sirius threw himself at Remus.
"You do care. I forgive you," he said. Remus pushed him away, his cheeks turning red.
Many of the girls in the audience shouted, "No!"
Sirius hugged Remus close and said, "Sorry, ladies, I'm already taken."
Dumbledore smiled. "Ah, young love," he said dreamily.
As everyone got over their shock at Sirius and Remus' relationship, the room's door banged open. A very pissed-looking Mcgonagall entered, followed by Filch, who looked very smug.
"What in the name of Merlin — Albus! What are you doing here with students? They should be in their beds," McGonagall said, both hands on her hips.
All of the students gulped.
"Hello, Minerva. I am here for the talk show," Albus said.
"What talk show?"
"The one I gave them permission for. It encourages interhouse harmony, and we discuss many interesting topics like their studies and curriculum. Right, Mr Potter?" Dumbledore asked.
James only nodded.
But although Albus said everything seriously, Minerva didn't believe him.
"The show is over. Everyone, off to your dorm and go to your own dorms." Most of the student who were in the audience ran as fast as they could. Only the Marauders, Dumbledore, McGonagall and Filch remained.
"What about their punishment, Headmaster?" Filch asked. He couldn't wait to punish these buggers.
"I'm not giving any punishment, Argus, since I gave them permission for this," Dumbledore explained.
Filch stamped his foot and left.
"Now, boys, go to your beds — you too, Albus," Minerva ordered. Dumbledore nodded and left.
When McGonagall was about to leave as well, James asked, "So, would like to be our guest next week, Professor?"
"Go to bed, Potter!" McGonagall ordered.
James and Peter followed McGonagall out, but Remus and Sirius lingered behind for a moment.
"It isn't me who's dating a Slytherin. It's Peter; he's dating Regulus," Remus said cautiously.
"W-what? Wormtail is dating my brother? WORMTAIL!" Sirius shouted, running after Peter.
Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius would never change.