Oh hullo! I'm an American and this is Sherlock crack. This was also written sometime either extremely late or extremely early depending on your point of view and after a glass of wine and a dose of BOREDOM.
So enjoy!
"Bor-"
"No."
"What?"
"Tell me dear brother, how can your immensely intelligent brain fail to find a way to entertain yourself without causing collateral damage to the innocent and environment?"
"...Give me my skull."
"No. You already have it."
"Obviously I am in possession of it. Give me back my friend."
"John is at work."
"I need the human skull you are holding."
"What? This?"
"Give."
"No."
"Give."
"I thought you didn't like to repeat yourself."
"Oh, what's that paper package in your pocket?"
"Candy."
"I thought you were on a diet."
"A rather eccentric friend from America gave it to me."
"Friend?"
"In a manner of speaking."
"He's trying to 'get off' with 'Anthea'."
"I am entirely unconcerned."
"Of course. That's why you're banning him from England."
"None of your business."
"Candy."
"You'll rot your teeth."
"Better than rotting my brain."
"Sugar is not an effectual stimulant."
"Pop rocks?"
"I'm glad you have preserved the ability to read."
"It's not poisoned, is it?"
"Mummy would be upset."
"You would be happy."
"Eat it."
"Are you choking, brother?"
"Achhskkkddd..."
"Hmm... What color roses do you prefer on your coffin?"
"Ksddkkack-I'm-djakv-dying-
sdkat-tell-xachdm-John-tejavj-not-ahdkshj-to-sjh-"
"It's not poison, by the way."
"Why... Why... Why is it exploding in my throat?!"
"Carbon dioxide trapped in globules of sugar."
"Ackhavjxh..."
"You weren't supposed to swallow it. Especially not the whole packet at once."
"You didn't tell me that.
"John liked them."
"Do you have more?"
"You want more?"
"Not for me."
"John?"
"Moriarty."
"Ah... I'll have Anthea send you some."
"Good."
"Be sure to tell him to swallow."
"Obviously."
"Sherlock."
"Are you bored now?"
Yes."
_
"Sherlock."
"Yes, John."
"Is that the phone from the Study in Pink?"
"Mhmm."
"Are you playing a game?"
"Shh.."
"Is that Angry Birds?"
"Too easy."
"Yeah right."
"There. All levels complete."
"How long did it take you? Three hours?"
"Half an hour."
"... That's really not fair."
"How so?"
"It took me a week."
"... I'm bored now."
"Sherlock."
"Yes?"
"Try playing Tap Tap Revenge."
"What? Why?"
"You're bored. Play the game before you start shooting the wall."
"It's a musical rhythm game?
John, this is inane."
"You were playing Angry Birds."
"It required a knowledge of trajectory."
"You play the violin. You should know rhythm."
"Hmph. Fine."
"Good."
"Pop songs."
"Yeah. Choose one."
"Firework?"
"Okaayyy..."
"CUZ BABY YOU'RE A FIREWWWOOORRRRKKK!"
"Sherlock! Turn it down!"
"Shush John, I'm trying to concentrate! It's hard enough with the rainbow buttons and scantily clad females lolling about in pink clouds."
"I should have confiscated the phone."
"You were the on- Stupid stupid button! I pressed it on time. No! There goes- No! It was exactly timed to the nano-second! This isn't rhythm!"
"Mathematical music theory does not apply to pop songs, Sherlock."
"Why am I playing this?"
"Because you were bored."
"Give me the gun."
"No. Would you like to rescue cats?"
"What's Afro Circus?"