NOTE: Please note that I am not a fan of Remus/Sirius in the least, but this one-shot was meant specifically to broaden my mind and stretch my creative boundaries. In other words, I did it because I needed to make a story that was out of the comfortable little box I'd packed myself in. Anyways, this is completely different then any fan fiction I've ever written and is made specifically for my friend Danielle.
And please review to tell me how I did depicting Sirius's point of view! I'd like criticism on how I could edit it to be more realistic. This is a learning experience for me!
SO! Without further ado, this is my first Male/Male fanfic. Sorry it's kinda short. Only 620 words.

-Sirius Black's Point of View-

I would never admit out loud what I felt inside, I'd never utter the words that I feared the most. The words I longed to say, but never could. It would be my secret, one I'd carry to the grave. No, no one could know. Not even James, my closest friend. James, my brother in all the ways that mattered most. I could never tell him, he'd never understand. I couldn't tell Annabel, either. Especially not her. What would my girlfriend think? I knew the answer to that, of course. It would not bode well for her, to put it simply.

And of course, I could never tell him. What would I say? What could I possibly say? He meant more to me than anything and I absolutely could not risk our friendship by telling him. I couldn't find the words, anyhow. He made me weak to my knees, made my breath catch in my throat. Like a silly, giggling girl. It was pathetic, really.

My heart ached every month at full moon, knowing he'd have to suffer through another transformation. I always stayed with him until he turned back, always. I didn't want to leave him alone for a second and I wanted to lessen the suffering any way I could.

He was everything I wasn't. Intelligent, studious, cautious, thoughtful, gentle, and braver then I could ever pretend to be. I admired him. I loved him. Plain and simple, but yet more complicated than anything else I'd ever dealt with.

I did splendidly well at hiding it, I had to give myself a pat on the back for that one. No one, no one at all, could ever possibly suspect I was in love with Remus. I acted around him the same way I did the rest of the Marauders. It would take the cleverest, most watchful eye to detect even a slight preference for him over, say, Annabel. I had deluded myself even, going the longest time not realizing just how much effort I was putting into acting normal around him.

Obviously, the biggest and most difficult issue was our gender. I was a boy in love with a boy, one of my best mates even. Me, Sirius Black, who had dated almost half the girls in my year and the year below and above mine. I never questioned my sexuality before this year and if the idea had come into my mind I would have laughed it off. I still liked girls, now even. I enjoyed kissing Annabel, immensely, but at the end of the day it wasn't her I was thinking about – it was him. No other boys appealed to me in the slightest. I was repulsed by the thought of kissing any guy….besides him, of course.

I had no hope that he'd ever return the feeling, though. He was perfect. Perfect guys don't fall in love with one of their best mates, who happened to be the same gender as them. I hated the thought I'd never be able to tell him how I felt, that I'd never be able to tell him that the very thought of him made my heart sing. No, even he, being as kind as he was, would laugh. He'd never even believe it. How could he? I could stand there and pledge my love to him, with the rest of the Marauders as witnesses, as convincingly as I could and they'd all never give it a thought as to it being serious. Because Sirius Black was not at all serious. I was a prankster, the class clown, the troublemaker. There was no doubt in my mind that no one's Gaydar went off when I walked into a room.

But this was how things were. By some odd twist of fate, a very cruel twist, I was stuck in this predicament.

And I would forever and always be in love with a boy I could never admit my feelings to.