I do not own Twilight
~RUINS~
v.
To fall into ruins; fall to pieces
"Jacob! Don't you dare walk away from me!" Nessie shrieked her bronze hair moving wildly as she closed the gap between them. Grabbing his collar, she tried to halt his movements as he walked to the door, desperately clinging to him as he tried to remove her small hands from his body.
"Ness please. You know this isn't right between us. We can't even be civil. Look at us" Jacob yelled pointing to the state of the room.
The large framed mirror was smashed down the middle with Renesmee's French perfume bottles tipped over and leaking on the plush carpet. The small silver framed photos were face down on the carpet, after they'd been smashed against the wall, even Jacob's suits were cut up and thrown in the bathtub, bleach poured over the expensive fabrics her Aunt Alice had given him.
"I can't do this." Jacob sighed, wrapping his large hands around hers and tugging them from his shirt. "I can't pretend any more. This isn't real Renesmee, I don't think any of it ever was"
"I can't believe you're doing this to me!" She screamed picking up a nearby lamp and throwing it at him. Jacob used his forearms to protect his face from the impact of the glass, as it smashed against his skin. The cuts that were left, healed quickly like always, though the scars of the things they did to each other were deeper than just skin and often lingered below the surface.
The incredible hate and regret.
Jacob snatched her wrists in his hands and pulled them together making her face near his, her brown eyes where full of hatred and pain all rolled into one, her small nose pointed high and her mouth twisted into a sneer.
"Don't fucking do that. Just let me go!" He hissed wanting the woman to free him from the bind she had over him.
"I'm your imprint Jacob! You belong to me! You can't just leave me! Wait till Daddy finds out, wait until-"
Snatching her even tighter Jacob growled close to her face, her wrist twisted enough for her to feel the pain, even with having the strength of a hybrid. "You don't own me Renesmee, and your father can't do shit! No wonder I could never love you!"
"Never? You never loved me?" She gasped wriggling from his grasp and attempting to hit against his chest. His words were hurting her, burning her to the core.
"I could only ever love you like a sister Ness. You know that Leah has always been my heart, everything we have ever done together cannot out weight the things I feel for her"
Renesmee laughed incredulously shoving Jacob's chest. "Funny you never mentioned that while you were fucking me. Tell me Jacob, you fuck Rebecca and Rachel like that too?"
"I'm not even going to reply to that bullshit." Jacob sighed shaking his head at her in disappointment. This woman was meant to be his love, his life but he couldn't bear the thought of her. She was spiteful for no reason, she often put him down along with his pack, calling them 'Protectors of a pathetic tribe'. She commented often how his beliefs and values within his tribe were 'rubbish' and didn't mean anything to the real world. Her words often branding hateful lines across his heart. She had no right speaking of things she didn't know. She didn't have to believe but he did.
"So what does she have that I don't? I mean, we all know what she doesn't have that I could give you, but-"
"What the hell does that mean?" Jacob growled, his fist balled by his sides as he watched the small woman walk around the room like she held the answers to his whole life in her palm. She acted as if she was so much better than the rest of them, better than him, better than Leah. He'd concluded a long time ago that it was a behaviour brought on by nurture rather than nature. Had Bella, Edward or even the blonde bimbo laid down any rules in her life she may have had a fighting chance against Leah. She was a spoilt child in a woman's body. She possessed the small stubborn stomp her mother often did as a human, and the arrogance of her father. Sparkling asshole!
"Oh come on Jacob. You know exactly what I mean. Leah isn't even a woman. She will never be able to give you children, she's fucking barren! She's about as fertile as the Nevada desert! She'll never give you the life you deserve!" Renesmee spat. She hated that stupid native girl that had somehow gotten her she-bitch claws into what was hers. Jacob was meant to love her and only her, not run around the forest panting after some dark skinned bitch.
"And you can? I hate to break it to you Ness, but Leah is more woman than you'll ever be. I don't care if she can't give me children; I would still rather her, than you and 10 kids" Jacob growled. He hated when Renesmee brought up Leah's inability to conceive. It was a proven fact, but the absence of her monthly period made them believe as such. Even still, Leah could be everything he'd ever dreamed of. They would adopt if they had to, there was plenty of children that needed a loving home that they could surely provide.
"I doubt that Jacob, I doubt that very much" She mused "You wait! Wait until you're an old man and then you'll regret the day you ever left me! Soon enough you'll be bored with her and you'll come crawling back to me." She smirked folding her arms across her chest. "You'll be on your hands and knees, begging me like the puppy you are. Tell me Jacob how does it feel to know Leah Clearwater will always be Sam Uley's first. To know that everything you do with her, Sam's done it first and probably better." She taunted him, sing songing in her high pitched voice.
"You should stop now" Jacob said pulling a frustrated hand through his pitch black hair. "Plus you wouldn't want me to start with you about the South American half breed" He glared watching as she tightened her red robe around her waist.
"Nahuel? What the hell does he have to do with anything?" She shrieked incredulously, her self belief in her own innocence prominent.
"Playing dumb suits you Ness." Jacob smirked darkly watching as the bronzed haired girls eyes narrowed.
"Fuck you Jacob!" She screamed.
"Just like you fucked Nahuel? Honey, I am not stupid. I have eyes and ears, and even though you think I am some stupid mutt, word does reach these stupid mutts ears" Jacob laughed as she stomped her foot, smashing her fist against the hard wood shelf. "Look Ness whatever. Just know we are done, and that I never want to see you again. Now, if you don't mind, I am going home"
"This is your home Jacob" She screamed as he walked out the door, and on to the porch steps. "You fucking pussy" She hissed throwing on of her heels at his back as he jiggled his keys to open the car door. "I fucking hate you Black, don't you ever come back here. I hope you and your she-bitch fucking rot in hell"
"Bye Renesmee" He smiled, feeling as if the weight of the world was suddenly lifted off his shoulders.
"Fuck you!" She screamed slamming the door, making the glass of the nearby window shake the pane. Jacob's smile stretched wider as he heard her shriek madly inside the house, followed by the violent smashing of every glass object in the house.
"Bitch"
Pulling into the driveway Jacob parked the car and looked up to her window. The low lamp light was on and he was still trying to figure out a way to approach Leah without having her exploded into a fit and claw his ass to pieces. He knew Leah wasn't going to take the news lightly and was probably going to gouge his eyes out with a rusty spoon. But Jacob knew he had to do this right, show her, make her see.
Leah was the one that had given him a choice unlike his ancestors. She had let he choose the woman who he was going to love, marry, build and live a life with. She wanted him to have a sense of freewill, but she had been wrong in only one aspect. The imprint may have chosen Renesmee, but his heart, his heart had chosen her a long long time ago, even if his head was only catching on now.
He couldn't believe how blind he'd been. She was his best friend, his only solace in this lonely world. She was not only his Beta but his pack mate and equal. He often took what she would say into consideration and allow her to speak her mind within the pack, each and every suggestion taken into account and assigned accordingly. She always calculated the risks and the pro's when it came to anything within the pack. She was a natural born leader and born to be special.
Jacob wouldn't have it any other way. She was for the life of him, his better half, the other half of his heart and the other half of his life.
Walking up to the front door he could feel the butterflies tumbling in his stomach, making his body coarse with not only excitement but fear.
Damn it Black He scolded himself, bailing his fists at his side. Walk in there, kiss the shit out of her, tell her you love her and then live happily ever after! Got it?
Rolling his neck, Jacob reached out and rapt against the wooden pine door of the Clearwater home with his knuckles. Stepping back he waited, his heart pumping wildly and his throat ever increasingly becoming drier. Standing so close to the house Jacob could already smell her. Her skin, her pitch black hair, he could feel her brown eyes watching him, her lips puckered, her breath-
"Shit" He hissed adjusting the front of his jeans attempting to hide the hard on he had just thinking about the simplicity of her everything. No matter what, he was going to make her listen this time.
His ears perked up hearing the light padding of her feet coming down the stairs, towards the door. Clearing his throat, he leaned a flat palm against the top of the door to greet her smugly, before he shook his head and buried his hands in his pockets. Idiot He thought, his nerves on high alert. Damn Leah Clearwater and her ability to make him feel like a small boy trapped into body of a 25 year old shape-shifter.
Before he could kiss her or give her his signature panty dropping smile, she swung the door open and shoved a piled of his clothing into his arms. His mouth hung open as her eyes raged out.
"Your so fucking lucky I didn't burn your shit Black! Now fuck off and never come back" She spat, bending her arm back to grasp the door, attempting to swing it shut in his face.
Acting quickly Jacob dumped the clothing at his feet and shoved his boot in between to door and the wall, stopping her from her first mission. Leah grunted as she pushed against the door, trying to keep him on the porch.
"Leah, let me in damn you" He growled, placing his palm flat against the door and pushing against her.
"No!" She hissed, trying with all her might to slam the door in his stupid face. "I'm going to kill you if you don't move you foot"
Leah knew she couldn't let him inside. Once he was inside her plan would fall to pieces like a tower of cards on a windy day. Jacob Black had made her believe in love again and she hated him for it. Every time he was near she felt her heart race and her insides warm thinking about his deep eyes and his perfect kisses. She knew that once Jacob was in the house, she wouldn't be able to fight off his pleas and advances. She was so sick to death of hearing 'I want to be with you', only to be left in the cold empty house alone, while he was off doing who knows what with that red headed bitch. Bronze? She scoffed as her heels dug into the wood attempting to keep the huge man at bay. Fucking fire-crotch cunt!
"I'll only move my foot, if you let me in" Jacob roared pushing harder against the door. He wasn't letting her shut him out so easily.
"No" She shrieked, feeling her feet sliding against the wooden floorboards, inch by inch backwards.
"Don't make me Alpha command you Leah" He growled again, slowly inching the door more ajar with each shove.
"Blow me Jacob!" She shot back, feeling the burn in her arms from jarring the door, her elbows locked and her shoulders hunched.
"Fine!" He yelled, removing his foot and making Leah stumble forward as the door shut. Quickly she dead bolted the door and let out a breath of air she wasn't aware she was holding. She could hear him hit his head against the door, before his back slid down and his ass flopped on to the 'Welcome' mat her mother placed at the lip of the door. "I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out. I know you think my word means nothing, but I need to tell you something before I lose my nerve." He sighed.
"I don't have to listen to shit!" She roared, slapping the pine of the door with an open hand.
"I'm not leaving until you do" He breathed, his voice low and almost a whisper.
"Sit out there forever then, I am not listening to a word. I can stay in here forever" She spat back, crossing her arms against her chest.
"You have to eat sometime" He said.
She growled hearing the smirk in his voice, her hands trembling wanting more than anything to slap him across his pretty face. "You don't fight fair" She huffed, turning her back and sliding down the door, feeling his heat even through the pine. She knew Jacob had her with the food threat. Of course she'd have to leave to go to the store or to patrol, so she agreed with herself, listening to Jacob through a wooden door would be much less embarrassing than having a screaming match down in Forks or while all the nosy assholes of the pack eaves dropped into their conversation. "You have ten minutes Jacob, then you better be leaving"
She waited a minute for his reply, each second building up the tension between them. "Okay. Hear me out and then you can decide if you still want me around."
Jacob began to tell her everything. From the moment he imprinted to the moment he first thought he was in love with Renesmee. He explained that she was like some kind of supernatural force, making him her lap dog and totally questioning his role as a leader. He explained how he felt the moment she accused him of liking his Beta and about the suspicion he was constantly under, by not only Renesmee but the whole Cullen family.
Leah let out a growl, feeling the urge to kick him through the dog flap in the door. "Your not exactly pleading your case Jacob" She spat, trying to hide the extreme hurt she felt as he talked about the hybrid leech.
"Sorry, I just want to explain it from the beginning" He sighed running a large hand through his hair.
"I was there from the beginning Jacob, I know what happened" She sniffled, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. "I know you were a brainless zombie after you imprinted, a fucking shell of a man. You didn't or couldn't think for yourself and you left it up to me to run your pack of hooligans. I fucking hated what you became, what you let yourself become. I was sure that you would be different but once again the world proved me wrong" She ended with a whisper, upset clear in her voice.
Laying his head back against the door, Jacob closed his eyes his voice heaving hearing the pain in her voice. "That was until you Leah. You were the light at the end of the tunnel, my falsetto at the end of a song, my big finale at the end of a play. You made me realise something more important that anything that I could have learned in my god forsaken life."
"And what is that?"
"That I am only truly happy with you." He breathed, his heart pounding in his chest and his hands trembling. His voice waivered slightly before he pulled it together to finish his story. "Leah - I - you make me better. You make me love without reason, sympathise with those less fortunate. You make me a better Alpha because your strong, you know what has to be done and by hell and high water you don't give a shit what the consequences are to protect your family."
Leah could hear the beat of his heart and the truth in his voice. She could hear he was hurting and she was still pushing him away. "Thanks Jake. Is that all?" She asked resting her ear against her knee.
"You once told me I had a choice, and now I am picking"
Leah's breath hitched as he spoke, her heart feeling like it had free fallen from a 30-storey building. He was finally leaving with Renesmee, he was here to break her heart, let her down. This is why he had come. The hot tears streamed down her face as her ears listened intently waiting for the final break, his break. Away from her.
Jacob could smell her tears, the hot salty spray trickling down her face. He could hear her heart beat out of time, her breaths increasing. It was like time had stopped and all he could sense was her, her whole being, her aura, her love. Slowly he slipped his hand backwards through the dog flap and grasped her hand.
Leah bit down on her lip as she watched Jacob's hand come through the flap and grasped her tiny one in his large calloused palm. The tears were flowing more freely as he spread her fingers and settled in between the spaces with his own. She felt her whole body shutting down, this kind of intimacy uncommon for her any more. Ever since Sam, holding hands had become a big 'no no'. It was too close, to heartfelt and too open. She wasn't the same care-free loving girl anymore, she wasn't the Leah her daddy loved, the Leah who her baby brother looked up to nor the Leah her mother was proud to say was her daughter.
Squeezing her hand tightly, Jacob smiled, playing his fingers over her knuckles. "I love you Leah, and I pick you..."
No. She was the Leah that Jacob loved unconditionally. The girl of his dreams and the only woman he belonged with.
...
..
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AN: Blackwater Baby! Suck it hard!
I don't know where this came from, but ladies I feel a spout of angst coming on. Beware *glares at my other stories* None of you are safe.
Loves!
Ses