Numb

Songfic. OroSasu, ItaSasu, which ever way you look at it.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
I used to think that it was worth it, to give everything up just for revenge, but I was wrong.
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Doing so only made me like you. Like my brother…aniki…why?
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I tried to kill my best friend-my rival. He believed in me even when I did not believe in myself or anything that I fought for…

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And now that I realize what you have done, no…what I have done …it hurts to know it …it hurts to admit it…

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
More than once I told myself that doing so only made me like you. Almost like my brother…I did not kill my family and my best friend, but I did try to kill my best friend-rival. I didn't believe it then, but now I do.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Why is it that you try to do this to me? It hurts, it kills…

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

It hurts so much…I want out…you…I hate you…I detest you…yet I can't bring myself to that level…your level…that's why I forgive you…because you used to be the brother I loved, the brother that I adored…I used to love you so much…I wanted to be with you forever and ever then…I know it sounds so clichéd…but that's all I can say…I forgive you aniki, koibito…