a/n: This is a sort of song-fic that I really enjoyed writing! The song is called "Kiss the Girl" (hence the title), and it's from Disney's film The Little Mermaid. The idea to pair Zelda and Vaati with this song came to me while my family and I were listening to a Disney sound-track in our kitchen. It was so sporadic, I just had to write it! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda.
"Kiss the Girl"
Vaati abandoned all thoughts of stealth as he crushed the forest soil beneath his feet and marveled at its fragility.
Finally, he was human again. It had taken him years to persuade Master Ezlo to change him back to the preferred form, and even still, he had barely enough magic to create a flower. However, being human had granted him strength beyond that of a Minish.
Vaati paused to scoop some loam into his hand and held the mass before his face. His now long and slender fingers plucked a leaf from atop the pile, holding it aloft so he could inspect it. Funny, to think that as a Minish, such a leaf could have provided ample protection from raindrops overhead or shielded him from the most unpleasant of bugs.
"No protection here," the sorcerer chuckled, holding the stem of the leaf and raising it above him like a tiny umbrella. His pale flesh stained green as finger and thumb mashed the plant between them.
Vaati dumped the loam back on the ground and brushed his hand against his pants. His limbs were long and lithe, his nose nice and short, his features fine and handsome; he felt fit enough to try and take Hyrule again, but if Master Ezlo found out, he would be a Minish again for sure. He contented himself by flashing his pointy smile at the world, feeling wonderfully alone in that vast forest of somewhere. He could have been in the Western Wood or North Hyrule Field for all he cared.
Something flashed to the right of him.
Vaati swiftly melded into the shadows, wishing he had not chosen to wear a purple cloak on such a bright, warm day. He pressed his back against a tree and stood there, not moving, his breathing shallow. His red eyes surveyed the trees intently for any sign of action. The birds continued to sing in sweet oblivion.
The sorcerer did not have to wait long. Soon a figure passed in and out of view, looking as absorbed as the songbirds. It was a young woman. Her hair fell past her slender waist in a soft, golden sheen, and a basket was slung over her arm. She walked with the grace he should have been using earlier, for rather than pulverizing what lay beneath her feet, she appeared to glide across the forest floor as if she were some kind of apparition. Her objective seemed relaxed yet meaningful, and soon she was out of sight.
Vaati stepped out from behind the tree with a thoughtful look on his face.
"That was Princess Zelda," he mused aloud. He wondered what she was up to. Quietly, he began to follow.
The trees passed left and right as they made their way through the forest. Vaati found he was pursuing Zelda rather intently, although he did not know why. Boredom, perhaps. Or maybe he needed to tell her something. He had never quite gotten around to apologizing for turning her into stone those years ago, and though he had been given several opportunities, he really had not wanted to. Making her a statue had been enjoyable, simple as that. Of course, now he would be more appreciative if she were a decorative piece in his home, but still...
The sorcerer shook his head. He had to be bored.
The trees began thinning out as they neared a clearing.
So keen had been Vaati's concentration that he failed to hear the voice. It had been quiet, fleeting enough, and had said but one word: "Percussion..."
The sorcerer had thought it merely air whistling through his pointy ears.
The second time the voice spoke had been louder, though just as transient, and Vaati had dismissed it as swishing leaves when it whispered, "Strings..."
However, when the voice spoke a third time, the sorcerer had made it to the edge of the clearing, and this time there was no mistaking that someone was indeed talking.
"Winds..." said the voice. Vaati froze and tore his gaze from the princess, who sat close by in a spacious flower-field. His eyes scanned the foliage at his feet and the trees around him for any sign of a little form.
"Master Ezlo, where are you, you grouchy old geezer?" he asked quietly with a smirk, watchfully waiting for the Minish to make his appearance. There was no movement, and no one came.
"Words..." The voice seemed to resonate all around yet from a distance. Vaati unconsciously rubbed at the mark under his left eye and frowned, peering back into the forest.
"Link, is that you?" he asked, slightly louder but not enough for Zelda to notice. Despite the Hero's tendency to be dreadfully annoying, Vaati rather liked Link, and he hated to think he might be lost in little old Hyrule.
The sorcerer was chuckling at his own wordage when a very unpleasant thing occurred: the voice began to sing.
It had to be Ezlo.
"There... you see her..." the voice crooned.
Vaati glanced over at Zelda in the clearing. "Yes... what about her?"
"Sitting there across the way..."
"My, aren't you one to state the obvious," he responded dryly. His toe lifted a fallen leaf from the ground but still no Ezlo. He wondered where the coot was hiding.
"She don't got a lot to say," the voice sang, "but there's something about her..."
Vaati had to grudgingly admit that was true. As his eyes took in her form, he noticed with some fascination that the flowers and the sky and even the wind seemed to revel in her presence.
"Traitor," he muttered, as a little breezed skipped through his locks and lifted a purple strand into the air. He would not be surprised if even the birds were on her side.
As if on cue, a twittering rose from the trees - accompanying Ezlo's song!
"Black magic!" Vaati hissed as the voice finished its phrase.
"And you don't know why, but you're dying to try -"
"Try what?"
"You wanna - kiss the girl."
"WHAT?!" the sorcerer exclaimed, forgetting to keep his voice down. He swiftly ducked behind a tree when Zelda glanced in his direction. "What are you, some kind of sick old man?!" he whispered furiously once the princess turned back. "I don't care how wise they think you are; you cannot go around telling your students to kiss people!"
Another voice accompanied and harmonized with Ezlo's. Vaati's eyes rolled heavenward.
"Fantastic," he muttered, "now there are more of them."
The persuasive music continued with persistence.
"Yes... you want her..."
Vaati stiffened. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Look at her, you know you do..."
The sorcerer glanced over at Zelda with a small ache inside of him. It was true. And she was so beautiful, with her fair skin and long dark lashes. His face remained stoic, however, as he examined her sweet countenance and the way she tenderly placed blossom snips inside her basket.
"Possible she wants you too," they warbled. "There is one way to ask her..."
Understanding dawned on Vaati.
"This is one of your experiments!" he assumed. "Another petty amusement, Master, to help inspire for a new invention!" He was more frustrated than he realized when he started kicking at the underbrush and overturning stones. His longish purple hair kept flopping in his face, and he stubbed his toe, which really did not help his mood. Finally, he stopped and glared, could having sworn he heard laughter.
"If you don't stop..." Vaati threatened. The voices tittered in response.
"It don't take a word, not a single word... Go on and - kiss the girl."
"No!"
"Sing with me now," one voice had the audacity to add.
"Never!"
An impassioned chorus of voices filled the air around him in a crescendo to the refrain, and any weaker man would have begged for mercy.
"Shah-la-la-la-la-la, my-oh-my! Look at the boy too shy! He ain't gonna - kiss the girl."
"I am not shy!" growled Vaati.
"Shah-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad!"
"No."
"Ain't it a shame, too bad. You gonna - miss the girl."
The sorcerer tried to send out a burst of magic to find the perpetrators of his mental peace. The magic hit the ground, but instead of doing what he wanted, it created something pathetically within his limited power range.
A perfect rainbow-colored lily sprouted between his feet.
Vaati stared down at it, biting back the curses that sprang into his mind. "Stupid little - !" He pulled back his foot to destroy the flower where it sat.
"What are you doing over there, Vaati?" called a soft voice that soothed his terrorized ears like a balm.
Vaati quickly dropped his foot and turned to find Princess Zelda looking at him in askance, her pretty little head tilted in slight puzzlement. Man, she was beautiful. Standing in the field with sunlight shining down upon her only enhanced Zelda's features, but the sorcerer was perfectly content to enjoy them from the nice, cool shade of the forest. He noticed the basket at her feet was full when he remembered that she had asked him what he had been doing.
"Uh..." His mind scrambled for an answer other than "stomping on flowers and threatening little people."
The voices began quietly humming again; apparently they were not yet finished.
"Now's your moment . . ." they encouraged dramatically, "... floating in the blue lagoon..."
"Shut up, idiots, you don't know what you're talking about!" Vaati hissed. "Just go away!"
"Well, there are certainly nicer ways to tell someone you don't want their company!" the princess huffed, feeling more than a bit bewildered.
"No, wait!" Vaati shouted to stop her. "I wasn't talking to you!"
Zelda paused with her hand on her basket handle.
"Boy, you betta do it soon," the voices whisper-sang. "No time will... be better..."
Vaati ran his fingers through his purple hair as he tried to come up with an excuse to keep her there. He spotted the lily on the ground and carefully plucked it, knowing he had either taken leave of his senses or the music was finally getting to him.
"I made something for you," he said as indifferently as he could. He held the blossom between his fingers and took a step towards her with a vague hope he might be crushing someone beneath his feet.
"She don't say a word, and she won't say a word, until you - kiss the girl."
"I'll get you for this," Vaati couldn't resist muttering to them as he stepped onto the field.
Zelda's blue eyes assessed him carefully as he approached, but they lit up when he offered her the lily.
"Is that for me?" she asked, a smile brightening her face. Vaati nodded and when she reached for it, he took his time giving it to her, liking the feel of her warm fingers against his cool skin. Zelda blushed at the prolonged contact and swiftly brought the lily to her face.
"So many colors!" she murmured.
Vaati had to pat himself on the back for his crafty thinking. Who would have known that a magic blow-up would save his image that day? He might have had to tell her the truth of his actions in the wood, and somehow he did not think she would commend him for it.
His self-glorification dwindled slightly, however, when she smelled the lily. The princess kept her features very controlled as she carefully laid the blossom in her basket.
"What is it?" the sorcerer asked.
"It smells..." Zelda hesitated. "It smells like Wake-Up Mushroom."
Vaati was very glad for his cloak just then; it hid his clenching and unclenching fists.
The cursed diminutive voices had started singing their cursed little chorus again with blasted enthusiasm, and the sound floated across the field.
"Shah-la-la-la-la-la, don't be scared! You got the mood prepared! Go on and -"
"I hear singing," the princess luckily interrupted.
"Whoa, whoa! Shah-la-la-la-la-la, don't stop now! Don't try to hide it how you wanna -"
"It's just the wind through the trees," Vaati replied rather loudly.
"Whoa, whoa! Shah-la-la-la-la-la, float along! Listen to the song! The song say -!"
The breeze shifted directions and swept their voices back into the trees.
Vaati looked thoughtfully down at Zelda's upturned face and wondered if it would really be so bad to take their advice. The mood was perfect, and so was the opportunity. He stepped closer and noticed she did not try to back away.
"Zelda," he murmured, her name rolling off his tongue, "I've meant to tell you something for a long time."
"Yes?" she asked expectantly. Her blue eyes were wide and inquisitive. He took a step closer and tried to breathe in her scent; all he could smell was Wake-Up Mushroom.
Vaati gagged and gestured for them to move away from the basket. When they stopped, he found he was closer to her than before. The princess smelled sweet and fresh like... well, like a lily. His heart beat somewhat faster, and as he gave Zelda a roguish grin, he noticed she was wringing her hands.
"Zelda... I've wanted to apologize for turning you to stone those years ago," he lied.
Zelda blinked.
"Stone?" she asked carefully. "Are you talking about your take-over? Because they told me I was in a coma." She brushed a stray lock out of her face and gestured widely. "You see, all I remember was that you were there, then Link jumped in front of me, something flashed, and then all went black! When I regained consciousness, I was standing on a stone altar." She tilted her head at him, waiting for his explanation of "stone."
"Oh," was all the sorcerer could say. He racked his brain for a reply, any reply he could give to that. "Well, you were out... stone cold."
Her smile quirked up at his lame excuse.
Vaati suddenly found himself very distracted by that smile. It had always annoyed him to hear someone's mouth described as a "rosebud," for it gave him the most unpleasant image of a mouth bulbous on one end and tapered at the other. However, Zelda's lips could be described as "rosebud" in color, for they were of the most rosy pink and perfect in shape. And he wondered if they could be described as "rosebud" in feel, for they certainly did look as soft as petals.
And Vaati could be described as "rosebud" in the brain, for his mind had to be misshapen for him to think such thoughts. He felt like he was Percy the Poet of the Western Wood, with such descriptions running through his head!
"Ah, blast it all!" he muttered. Vaati flicked his cape aside and reached up, cupping Zelda's smooth jaw with his hand. "Princess... would you mind if I gave you something else?"
The breeze stilled. Zelda looked into his red eyes and shook her head slowly.
"Shah-la-la-la-la-la, music play! Know what the music say! You wanna - kiss the girl!" floated the voices over. They were still singing.
Vaati didn't care anymore. His thumb stroked her cheek and he leaned forward.
"You've got to - kiss the girl..." they encouraged.
He paused mere inches from her and allowed his gaze to roam her face. She closed her eyes and tilted her chin up expectantly, surprising him.
"Why don't you - kiss the girl..."
"Zelda..." he whispered.
"You gotta - "
Vaati kissed the girl.
The music came abruptly to a halt. Vaati hardly noticed the little gasps of shock behind him until one teeny voice piped up.
"Oh my gosh, he actually did it!"
Vaati bit back a curse. "Stupid little - !"
"What was that?" Zelda asked in a slight daze.
Vaati took a deep breath and slid an arm around her waist, giving her a pointy smile. "Just the wind, my dear... just the wind."
And he kissed her again, slowly this time, savoring her sweetness and the little cries of anguish from the forest.