I do not own Kids Next Door or Pokemon (the names, anyway). I do own Team Eeveeon.
What A Really Peculiar Epic Document
Prologue: Back to Basics
Umbreon: Yo, people. It's been a year or so since I last accessed this lovely site, and much longer since I last posted a fic here. Well, I'm back from the dead which I have risen from! Bwahahahahaha! (regains composure) Ahem. And now I bring to you my first Kids Next Door fanfic!
Vaporeon: And how are you gonna do that?
Jolteon: You've never watched a single episode of Kids Next Door.
Umbreon: Hey, is it my fault I live in Singapore where KND ain't available? Besides, I've collected enough information from CartoonNetwork.com and a few of the fanfics around here, thanks to Numbuh 6, Ookami No Shinpi, and Dynasty San especially.
Espeon: Well, I do hope you're not as twisted as them.
Umbreon: Calm down, my brother. We just need to confirm a bit of stuff with the real deal, then we're ready to go.
Flareon: What? You mean this isn't the first chapter?
Umbreon: No, this is a prologue, dimwit. Ever heard of a prologue? I have to confirm a few facts with the KND, before we let my imagination take its fancy and comes up with the first thing it... comes up with.
*Enter the KND*
Flareon: This is the Kids Next Door?
Umbreon: Yep. Now, lemme check a few things before we continue. Numbuh 1, Nigel Uno, the commander of the team.
Numbuh 1: Present.
Umbreon: Numbuh 2, Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr., the aviator and inventor.
Numbuh 2: Present.
Umbreon: Numbuh 3, Kuki Sanban, *suddenly* DUCK!!! *ducks*
Team Eeveeon: Duck?
The rest of Team Eeveeon soon discover the reason for Umbreon's sudden shout as they are snowballed by a girl wearing a large, green shirt swinging from a light above.
*PLADOOF*
Numbuh 3: Rainbow Monkeys!
Umbreon: I guess that means she's present.
Team Eeveeon: You can say that again!
Umbreon: I guess that means she's present.
Team Eeveeon: *groan*
Umbreon: Numbuh 4, Wallabee Beatles, the "Tough Kid".
Numbuh 4: Present.
Umbreon: And last but not least, Numbuh 5, Abigail "Abby" Lincoln, the spy and the "Quiet One."
Numbuh 5: Present.
Flareon: Hey, how did you get their names anyway?
Umbreon: CartoonNetwork.com, of course.
Jolteon: Strange, they look kinda familiar...
Umbreon: That's because they ARE familiar, Jolteon. Remember that "What A Cartoon Show" message where four kids initiate a countdown?
Team Eeveeon: Ah... enlightenment.
Umbreon: Now... Let's go through the finer details, shall we...? Nigel is a Brit; Hoagie is American; Kuki is Japanese; Wallabee is Australian; Abby is Afro-American but was born in France.
Vaporeon: *whispers to Espeon* He actually did research on this?!
Umbreon: The KND inventory include the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R (Solid Pinewood Loaded Artillery Nicely Kicks Enemy Rear), the T.O.A.S.T.I.E. (Turns On Assorted Stuff That Is Electrical), the P.I.P.E.R. (Phone In Pipe Emergency Radio) and several other wickedly interesting gadgets...
Kids Next Door: Hear, hear!
Umbreon: They have been featured in about 80 fanfics so far on fanfiction.net, mostly action, romance and parody fics.
Espeon: Someone's been using the computer too much, I see...
Umbreon: ...of which the one with the most reviews is Operation T.R.U.E. L.E.A.D.U.H., which has received over 300 reviews, written by Ookami No Shinpi, one of the best authors so far, also including Numbuh 6 (also known as Jessie A, as if you didn't know that by now), Dynasty San, et cetera, et cetera...
Jolteon: I hate to agree with you, Espy, but you may be right...
Espeon: Don't call me that!
Numbuh 3: Espy! Espy! Espy!
Espeon: Grr...
Umbreon: According to these sources, most of the romance fics often include pairings of Numbuh 1 with Numbuh 5, and Numbuh 3 with Numbuh 4 -- but also the occassional same-sex pairing.
Kids Next Door: Ewwwwww!
Umbreon: Sources indicate among other things, that Numbuh 1 took a peek in Numbuh 5's drawer of underclothings...
Team Eeveeon: WHAT?!
Numbuh 5: You been raidin' Numbuh 5's panties, foo? *smacks Numbuh 1*
Numbuh 1: Ouch! Of course not!
Umbreon: Numbuh 2 has a crush on Jessie A...
Numbuh 2: *blushes*
Umbreon: ...though for the other way round I'm not so sure about that.
Numbuh 2: Sigh...
Umbreon: Jessie A is a fan of Eminem (hey, me too), Stone Cold Steve Austin (got to shake his hand, too) and Vice City. Ookami No Shinpi was formerly known as Melody Hoshi Sugar, and from I know, she likes anime. As for Dynasty San... I'm not sure whether I should disclose this... ah, just go see for yourself.
Espeon: Why are you reading a dossier of authors?
Umbreon: 'Cause they might be making entrances in this fic, and some others.
Team Eeveeon: WHAT?!
Umbreon: With their honoured permission, of course.
Team Eeveeon: Phew...
Umbreon: Ah well, I think that's it for now. Please read and review, and give me details, ideas, whatever -- it's not too easy writing a Kids Next Door fanfic if you haven't seen a single episode. (The credits has a guitar solo? Cool.) *mimicking Numbuh 5* You wanna keep that arm attached, yo betta R&R, yo? Just kidding...
Numbah 5: HEY!!!