Tears stream down my face as I raise the bottle to my lips. I slowly reach for the razor blade, about to do something that I can never take back. Slowly I put the blade to the underside of my forearm. As I feel the blade pierce my skin I reluctantly shut my eyes tight. I push away the feeling that I know I'm doing something wrong, knowing that soon it will all be over. Something wills me to remember all those old names I was once called. I don't feel pain all I feel is hate, not toward anyone except myself for letting all that stuff hurt me once before. Finally I begin to feel the numbness in my arm start to spread up my arm, slowly engulfing me, starting to block what once hurt me. I open my eyes and look at my arm where all I see is blood. It covers my arm and the deep cuts I see, below me is a puddle of my blood in which the bottle of liquor sits in the middle of. Slowly my arm moves to grip the bottle. Blood starts to run down my arm and hand onto the bottle. I barely manage to lift the bottle up but some how I do, I raise the over half filled bottle once more to my lips, gulping down half of it. I start to cry again, finally realizing it's the end for me. Once again I use the razor blade to relieve my stress one final time and my body is finally numb and at the point of death. That's when I decide to end it for once and for all. Using my good arm I pick myself up and stagger out of my room and down the hall to my dad's room, getting blood everywhere. I open the door knowing no one else is home. I know exactly where the revolver is. It's in the top right drawer of his drawer, but there's a lock on the gun but the key is in his wallet which is always sitting on his dresser? Wait it was here earlier when I came home to make sure no one else was home, so where is it? "Are you looking for this?"