A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

"I, the amazing wonderful brilliant awesome Sirius Black, have the solution to all of your problems! Got a furry problem? I'm your guy, let's all become animagus. Got greasy disgusting hair? I'm your guy, I'll always have a cleaning charm at the tip of my wand and, with just a small extra, you get your hair in Gryffindor colors!"

"Well, this is all very entertaining, but would you care to clarify why exactly you're interrupting my moping for?"

"Weren't you listening to me just now? I have the solution to your problems!"

"Who said I have problems?"

"Dude, you just complained because I interrupted your moping. If that doesn't scream problem, I don't know what does!"

"Oh then please enlighten me as to what exactly my problem is."

"Obviously, you're mulling over the fact that Lily doesn't like you, Lily doesn't want you, Lily doesn't love you."

"I-I was not! I was simply reflecting upon what my next move would be."

"Hmm, keep telling yourself that. Anyway, back to solving your Lily problem "

"I don't have a Lily problem!"

"Shut up! As I was saying, I have the solution to your Lily problem. Peter is watching it right now."

"Peter is watching my solution…Why do I have a feeling that you've done something terribly stupid?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Now, off we go!"

… … … … … … … … … … … … …

"Oh my god! I can't believe you! Please tell me that that isn't what I think it is."

"Dude, it's a Lily shaped crate with a drawing of Lily on its front and LILY INSIDE written on it. What else could it be? I know that the drawing isn't that good, Remus did it after all, but I think it would be fairly obvious."

"Are you stupid? Can she even breathe in there?"

"Course she can, see these little holes? That's what they're there for. Stop getting off track, did you like your present?"

"Sirius are we going to have the whole 'why it's wrong to kidnap people' talk again?"

"But it's for a good reason!"

"You always say that!"

"Because it's always true!"

"Your definition of a good reason is very loose. Now, please let her go and explain to her that I had absolutely no part in this."

"You're no fun."

"I have to go back to my mo- planning. Leave me alone and let her go."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

AN: Kinda abrupt ending, I know, but the story would have just dragged on otherwise.