Do you ever wonder. . .
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? 
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? 
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? 
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing 
liquid is made with real lemons? 
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? 
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? 
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? 
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? 
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? 
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 
 
*In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed 
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (. . .you're saying this used to happen?) 
On a bag of Fritos: . . .you could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) 
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (. . .oh, so NOW you tell me.) 
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, 
it's "just" a suggestion.) 
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after 
heating." (. . .talk about a newsflash.) 
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (. . .as you do) 
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate 
Machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) 
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." ( 0.0 ) 
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." 
(as opposed to. . .what?) 
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." 
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) 
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (QUICK!! CALL THE REPORTERS!!) 
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, 
Eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) 
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not 
Enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) 
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands 
or  genitals." (. . .was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)