Try listening to RED's everything and nothing. it is inspiring and it screams Delusionment and LOki to the core.
Delirium
He didn't spare her, he couldn't spare her.
The only one whose memories remain untainted by his sick mind.
She'd stroke his hair and tell him everything would be fine.
She'd teach him magic in its purest form.
She'd loved him from the very start, with her whole heart.
That's why he had to do it.
He had to make sure that she wouldn't suffer, for sure as hell that is waging around them, Surtur would never spare her.
Surtur would make sure she suffers and hurts; he'd use the most atrocious of means to break her, in turn breaking Odin, Thor and what is left of his sane healthy self.
Surtur knew his ways; he knew how to break the greatest of men.
He wouldn't bear to hear his mother begging for mercy, he wouldn't bear to her hear whimpering or to see the worthless ogling her, mounting her, taunting her.
Thor wouldn't bear to hear them taunting him using their mother, the queen.
He makes sure it is a one quick clean lethal cut across the neck.
He feels something snapping in his mind, something thudding violently in his chest as she drifts into unconsciousness.
'There is nothing left worth saving' he thinks.
The monster scans with his dark green eyes,
Fires ablaze, flames blending with the twilight sky.
Smoke clouding the sky.
Screams and choked cries from the distance.
The great Asgard is burning, he knows.
He sees the great Odin falls.
'your home is burning', a voice inside his head calls.
'No, not your home' he corrects himself.
'Your people, your family, traitor'
'They were never my people, they were never my family, let everything burn. Let them suffer degradation and loss, let them taste the pain, the anguish that they inflicted upon me'
'No, delusional' the voice inside his head calls 'that you caused yourself, traitor'
'Even, I can't back down, now' he resolved.
'It is sick, it is masochistic'
The voice inside his head calls.
He marches to the observatory.
Yggsdraff is set ablaze, it is burning bright.
He can see a static huddled mass, one he recognises as the gatekeeper, nestled beneath the world's tree.
Another mass, a form broken, quietly whining,
He approaches the Lady Sif, the monster inside him, sharpening his teeth, ready to snatch at what is left of the warrior maiden, who despised him so much, who was at odds with him all the time, who rejected him long ago.
When he sees her face all bruised and battered, when he hears her voice so filled with pain and contempt whispering his name, he feels satisfied, so satisfied.
He sinks to her level, and inspects the damage Surtur's minion caused quite closely.
He can only imagine how much she had been violated,
He can only imagine how much she had been holding on.
He tries to lift her head to match his level.
He wants to see her mare like eyes, he wants his dark green ones to savour the looks of disgust, of agony, of helplessness that are so obvious in them.
She flinches away from him with the last of her fading strength.
The monster pulls her towards him forcibly.
The second her eyes meet his, the monster seems to lose control.
It somehow recedes to the back of his mind, his once strong voice reduced to echoes, only his sane self resurfaces.
His eyes return to their Asgardian induced verdant.
Her tension and resistance to his pull decline, maybe she sensed the switch, or merely an effect of life withering out of her.
He cradles her against his chest as blood splutters from her mouth, soaking his clothes, mingling with his mother's.
She is crying, he can feel it.
He is crying as well.
He captures her mouth with his, for one last time.
One last kiss filled with lament and regret, tasting of fear and tears.
He cradles her form till it is totally cold and slump against his.
The last to fall is Thor.
He has always been the strongest of all.
He marches off to see his valiant brother.
He isn't moving, his breathing so shallow.
He kneels down towards him, eyeing him like predator.
'Content? Got what you want? Was it worth it all? Is the sight of your brother, on the brink of death so satiable?' the voice inside his head now becoming stronger, so strong, practically yelling, so loud and charged that the monster can't muffle it any longer, the monster holds onto his head, shouts at him to stop. He is so oblivious to his surrounding.
The voice only stops as the knife is plunged into his heavy heart.
Thor plunges deeper, twitches the hilt, so it causes as much pain as possible.
Thor's eyes are so dim, so filled with loathe and chillness, so devoid of their previous warmth and sunshine.
The monster is dead,
So is Thor.
His verdant eyes fall to chest one last time,
His blood is mingled with Thor's, his mother's and Sif's
For the first time he can smell something other than the monster, other than blood, other than Stink, other than treason and lies.
He could smell tranquillity.