Randomness. Plz read, mmkayz. :D

DIALOGUE FIC! :D

(Has always wanted to try one, mhmm.)

France X S Korea fsho. :3

ENJOY SIL VOU PLAIT!

(Someone tell me that French attempt wasn't an epic fail, plz. ._.)

"Touch me, and die, da-ze."

"I didn't even move though!"

"But I knew you were about to, and that's all that matters, da-ze."

"Hmmph! Such little respect for your elders for one such as you!"

"And what do you mean by that, da-ze? Keep in mind that I am an expert at Tae Kwon Do before you answer, da-ze."

"… I love you?"

"Mhmm. Riiight."

"Why such little faith in my love?"

"Because you're a flirty, flighty, non-committing, seducing, and all around playboy so why should I believe anything you say, da-ze?"

"… beecauuseee I looooove youuuuuuuu…?"

"…"

"… don't look at me like that! It's creepy."

"What, like this, da-ze?"

"GAH, STOP IT."

"What, you're afraid of a little Kiku-Style-Glare™, da-ze? I have lost what small shrimp-like scrap of respect I've had for you, da-ze."

"B-But, Kiku's got that weird ICANSTAREINTOYOURSOULPLZ look to him…"

"…"

"… what."

"…"

"… you're doing it again."

"…"

"STOP IT."

"… WHOA WHOA WHOA WHERE IS YOUR HAND GOING, DA-ZE?"

"Nowhere…"

"HEY! HANDS TO YOURSELF, DA-ZE!"

"But I'm not doing anything."

"HI-YAH!"

"Ow-ow! Stop kicking me, OUCH! Dammit, STOP!"

"… haff… haff…"

"… your face is all flushed."

"… don't even go there, da-ze."

"But you're so cute when you're angry!"

"I will whup your ASS, Frenchy, da-ze."

"Ooh, I like the sound of that."

"Must you take everything in a sexual way, da-ze?"

"But of course, mi amour, for that is who I am."

"I pity the one who has to put up with you every day."

"Oh, you mean Arthur?"

"No, I mean the giant guppy in the Little Mermaid, da-ze."

"Ooh, feisty."

"UGGHH. Why am I even talking to you, da-ze?"

"Because we're locked in the meeting room until tomorrow?"

"Why yes, and speaking of which, I'm hungry. Y'got any food, da-ze?"

"Well, there is the fridge over there…"

"… well then. I'll go—WHAT THE? IT'S ALL ALCOHOL! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO STAVE OF MY HUNGER WITH JUST ALCOHOL, DA-ZE! MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO DRINK THIS!"

"Why not? It's only beer and wine. I'm sure you have it every da—"

"I am not like you, Francis, da-ze. I have some dignity to uphold. What would it look like if someone barged in here and saw me all drunk, da-ze?"

"You said my name! Oh, and don't worry. No one but me will ever see you drunk."

"For some reason that worries me more, da-ze."

"You wound me, mi amour! Why must you speak such harsh words to break my fragile heart?"

"Can the romance, Frenchy. It won't work on me, da-ze. 'Sides, me, drunk + you, sober = me in a compromising position when someone walks in. So, NO THANK YOU, DA-ZE."

"Dammit."

"What was that, da-ze?"

"Nothing… Nothing… but how about just one drink? Just one? For old time's sake?"

"Last time you said that, I got half naked under you at your house and we were found by my eldest brother and Arthur, da-ze. No way in hell am I living through THAT lecture again, da-ze."

"… Just one?"

"…"

"… pleaaaasssseee?"

"… Oh… I guess just one couldn't hurt, da-ze…"

"ALRIGHT! Break out the bottles, it's time to drink!"

"Oh I know I'm going to regret this, da-ze."

The next day, the door was opened by an unsuspecting Alfred and Matthew, who upon opening the door were greeted by a very… er… well… you know… ahem, 'mature' sight.

Needless to say, the South Korean was kept under house arrest for three straight months without any alcohol whatsoever. What happened to ol' Frenchy? He got to be subjected to a giant ass-whupping by a wok pan, a katana, and a PANDA. Then the unidentifiable mass of flesh and bone was carted off to the hospital where he was placed under some serious surgery. He did not leave that hospital for six blissful months.

Without wine.

After that, when Francis got out, half the world's wine was consumed in approximately three weeks.

Oh yeah.

A/N: Written in about... oh… 10 minutes?

Did y'all enjoy? ;D

COMMENT, PLZ. :D