Crazy V's Wild Party
By: The That'sHotSisters
After the Hogwarts year ended, Severus Snape put on his pink thong and sex kitten heels before walking down the busy streets of London. In an alley, Dumbledore waited for him in a pink robe and tight leather pants. He looked so sexy, for an old man of his age.
"Are you ready to go?" Dumbledore asked when he saw Snape.
"Go where?" Snape demanded.
"To the nightclub, ding-dong," Dumbledore retorted. "Where do you think? I heard the Potter boy was stripping tonight. I wanna get a look at those sexy legs."
"Hey, old man!" Snape yelled angrily. "I thought I was your man with the sexy legs! What kind of monster are you?" He burst into tears.
"Severus!" Dumbledore cried, kissing him on the lips. "I do think you have sexy legs—if you just shave once in a while."
"Well, I put up with your disgusting white beard for, like, centuries now!" Snape yelled. "It's so long, it covers up my favorite Little Soldier."
"Hey—that's Big Soldier to you!" Dumbledore said in an angry voice. "Whatever. Let's just go to the damn night club."
"Why? So you dance with Potter?" Snape demanded.
"Whatever, man!" Dumbledore said in a dude-like voice. "Let's just go, luv."
Snape and Dumbledore headed for the nightclub, where they met Hermione and her girlfriend, Tara, making out in front of the door before entering. Hermione was wearing a long strapless dress, and beside them, Harry planted a kiss on Ron's cheek and said in a soft voice, "I love you, Ronnie. Wish me luck tonight."
"I'll be watching," Ron replied, slapping his boyfriend's butt.
Dumbledore purred like a cat and slapped both Ron and Harry's tight butts, making weird noises as he did so.
Inside, Voldemort was grinding up against a very tall woman with short blonde hair and big boobs (not just any big boobs, man—these were friggin' double d's!) Harry and Ron would have been extremely turned on by this, had they not decided to become gay one year ago. Draco Malfoy was sitting in the corner looking extremely depressed because the only person flirting with him was a waiter wearing a tight leather bra with leather pants—and it was a man. Unfortunately for Harry, Malfoy had decided to remain straight after Harry confessed all the fantasies he had had about the blonde, blue-eyed hottie.
Dumbledore watched as a hairy man stripped onstage. He pulled off his shirt and waved it in the air, screaming, "Whoa, baby! Take it off!" From behind him, Snape pulled him by the beard and slapped his face. He said, "Hey, man! You only say that me and me only! What's wrong with you, man? Are you friggin' high or something?"
From the other side of the room, someone smacked Voldemort's butt and yelled over the blasting music, "Hey, Crazy V! What's crackin'?"
"Crazy V?" Dumbledore repeated, looking at the bar and reading the neon light that read, Crazy V's Night Club. "You own this place, Crazy V?" he asked Voldemort, walking up to him and ignoring Snape, who had fallen to the floor, sobbing hysterically.
Suddenly, two very hot women—which Tara and Hermione recognized because they had always seen them in their Playboy magazines as Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie—entered the club and looked around, very hot in their tight leather pink halter dresses. They had on strappy kitten heels, and Hermione fell head over heels for them.
"That's hot," said Paris, nodding at the man who was stripping.
Nicole lowered her oversized Gucci sunglasses and said, looking at Dumbledore and Voldemort. She said, "That's so not hot." She looked at her friend who was as hot as her and said, "We need to like, give these guys a makeover."
"You mean here?" Paris asked.
"Um, like, duh," Nicole replied.
Paris and Nicole dragged Voldemort and Dumbledore backstage, pulling out their makeup bags from their extremely expensive and that's hot worthy Coach purses. Dumbledore and Voldemort were a bit pissed off, because it was Harry's turned to strip, and like, hello, that was what they came for… they're gay, man.
Fifteen minutes later, in which Hermione and Tara ended up making out on the table in order to entertain themselves while Ron and the other guys cheered and yelled as Harry pulled off his pink boxers and in which Malfoy decided on becoming gay after being extremely turned on by Harry and jumping onstage to kiss him all over, Paris and Nicole kicked off the two fags from the stage and said in union, "Everyone, please welcome the newly HOT gay men of London…" Suddenly, Paris stopped and looked at her friend.
"What were their names again?" she asked.
"Um… I don't know," Nicole replied. "They're not hot. I don't remember not hot people…."
"Well, whatever," Paris said, blinking. "Just welcome the two gay men we found and though weren't hot so we made them not hot… but okay-looking."
"Hit it!" Nicole yelled.
Immediately, the song of their choice blasted through the speakers, making the crowd wild.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt… too sexy for my shirt—so sexy it huuuurts…."
Dumbledore and Voldemort ended up together after the wild night, during which Voldemort was pretty wasted and ended vomiting all over Snape. That caused Snape to have to change into another frilly black frock thing.
Hermione and Tara continued making out, and Harry and Malfoy ended up together (in the bathroom, to be more specific). After changing, Snape found Ron mourning the loss of his sexy boyfriend, Harry, and they ended up in a hot make out. Paris and Nicole stood by the straight men, being gawked and enjoying every minute of it.
After a few moments, Voldemort vomited on Snape all over again….
Man, it was wild!