Watching the Dance
Chapter 1/1
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. I don't the rights to any of the lyrics detailed in this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Anything up to and through the Season 9 Episode "Touchdown"
A/N: This is just a bit of fluff to rest my mind. It's about a gathering of some of the JAG clan (old and new) to watch Harm and Mac ….dance. It must be assumed that everyone in the story is getting along with the exception of Harm and Mac, and that Jack is still flying for the Company.
A/N: No beta, any mistakes are mine.
A/N: To set this up, Beth, Jack and Sturgis are conspiring to get our dynamic duo in the same place at the same time, because they like us couldn't stand seeing how terrible it was for them to be apart.
1930
Friday
October 24, 2003
McMurphy's Bar.
Harm sat next to his now former partner Beth O'Neil. She had insisted on taking him out for a drink after she heard he had been let go from his Company job. There was another reason for taking him out tonight, but she wouldn't share that with him…just yet.
She and Jack Keeter had a plan. Beth had flown a few missions with him, prior to Harm coming aboard at Langley. He had been a hoot to work with; after he got over the fact that the old Jack Keeter charm wasn't going to work with her…he wasn't her type. After he got over the initial awkwardness, they actually had a great time. He was a risk taker, there was no doubt about it, so was Harm, but Jack didn't have that underlying sadness that Harm did. Jack liked being where he was, Harm was there because he had no other choice.
After they were served their drinks, she turned to him.
"It's a damn shame Harm. What you did was one of most heroic things I've ever seen in my life." She said it sincerely, she hated that he had been let go.
Harm chuckled at the irony. "Well, your boss didn't think so."
"Hey…you forgot about that 'covert' thing we were supposed to be doing. No smiling for the cameras Rabb." She laughed and nudged him a bit.
"Some job record I'm accumulating." He scoffed.
"You'll find something."
Harm nodded and then looked across the bar. Just as his eyes came to rest on the door, Mac walked through it, with Sturgis and Varise. "Just great." He looked away shaking his head. Of all the people who could show up here, it had to be Mac, and today of all days, he thought. The only good thing was that she hadn't seen him yet; he hoped that he could get out of here before she did.
"Uh oh, who is that?" She knew, but for her own reasons, she would let him in on that right now.
Harm looked at her directly and Beth played her role to the hilt. "Oh…she's the one."
"What do you mean. "The one?" Harm frowned and pretended not to remember their conversation when they first started working together for the Company, when he mentioned 'someone' that he was involved with, a relationship that was probably over.
"The one I told you that you'd have to see again, before you knew it was over."
Harm kept his eyes downcast, suddenly finding the beer in his glass very interesting.
Beth looked at Mac, noticing the long look she gave Harm. She could see her wheels turning from across the room. She was wondering if they were together. No matter, Beth decided, she would know who she was soon enough.
Mac walked further into the bar, turning her attention to the table to which they all were walking. Beth saw Harm glance over the top of her head, watching Mac, the look in his eyes so sad, that it tugged at her heart.
"Oh…this is really bad Harm." She was teasing him, trying to lift his mood, the night was still young. She had been right; it wasn't over, for either of them. Webb owed her 100 bucks.
Harm returned his attention to her. "What's bad?"
"It's not over." She nodded toward the table.
Harm raised his brows, "Oh…yes it is, she made that crystal clear." He couldn't keep the bitter edge from his voice.
"That was almost 6 months ago Harm, things change…people change. You should talk to her."
"I don't think so." Even the thought of it was painful.
"You mean she hasn't tried getting in touch with you? Not even once?"
'She left a few messages."
"Define a few." She looked at him skeptically.
"Seventeen"
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Seventeen?"
"I listened to them; I just don't think I can go back to being 'just friends' and that's what she said when she left those messages. Asking me if we were still friends. I can't stand by and be her friend while she walks off in the sunset with….Webb."
"Are you really sure she and Webb are involved? That's not the scuttlebutt I heard." It hadn't been scuttlebutt; she heard it from the source, Webb. This little 'meeting' sprung out of that conversation.
Flashback –
Clayton Webb's office
CIA Headquarters
Langley Virginia
Beth O'Neil sat in front of Webb's desk.
Webb leaned forward in his seat. "Look Beth…I told you, there's nothing I can do. It's out of my hands."
"Nothing you can do? He goes down to Paraguay, rescues your ass and completes your mission and you can't do anything now to help him?"
"Beth, the whole world saw his face on ZNN, how can he work undercover when nearly everyone in the civilized world knows he works for us?"
Beth didn't answer, she knew he was right, but it seemed so unjust.
"And just so you know, he didn't come to Paraguay to save me, he came for Sarah."
"Yeah, that's right, and you both pay him back by walking away from him….together." She narrowed her eyes. "What a guy, what a good friend you are."
"Sarah and I aren't together…and it's not because I don't want to, she doesn't. She says she's not ready for anything, with anyone…. not yet."
Beth thought for a moment and decided that she might not be able to help her partner get his job back, but maybe, she could at least help Harm mend his relationship with Mac.
Webb seemed to sense what she was thinking. "He doesn't want a relationship with her either, if he did, they would have gotten together long ago."
Beth looked at him appraisingly, "Care to bet on that Webb?"
If she hadn't been able to see anything in Harm's demeanor in the 6 months she had worked with him, she knew he was carrying a torch for someone, and that someone was Sarah Mackenzie.
End Flashback -
Harm turned toward Beth and asked,
"Where would you hear anything about Webb?"
"Hey, I still have a job a Langley…remember?"
"It's just scuttlebutt, Beth."
Harm shook it off, he had seen how close they were in Paraguay, it seemed to him, at times, that they didn't even know he was there, at least that was the way it felt. He didn't think he knew what was true anymore; he was out of it - that was all he knew.
"And you know what they say about scuttlebutt."
At the same time they said. "It's usually true." Making them both break into laughter and helping Harm push away the 'sting' that always accompanied any thought of Mac with Webb.
Mac heard their laughter, discerning the timbre of Harm's voice immediately. No one would ever know how much she missed him, just knowing he was in the office, or hearing his voice carrying through an open door of the courtroom.
She looked harder at the woman seated at the bar with Harm and it occurred to her who she was.
Under her breath she said. "Oh...god, that's Commander O'Neil." What in the hell would she be doing here? She didn't think Harm even liked her when she was his client.
Sturgis heard her speak and asked. "Mac…what is it?"
Sturgis didn't like this. He had received a call from Jack to take part in the little charade, it felt deceitful, but Jack had talked him into it. Keeter had always been able to do that, and it had gotten him in more trouble than he cared to remember. He brought Varise along for moral support, Jack couldn't easily intimidate her, Varise might look thin and fragile, but he knew…she was mighty.
She returned her attention to Sturgis and Varise, "Oh it's nothing, where is our waitress? I'm starved." She changed the subject and pretended her heartbeat hadn't accelerated to nearly twice its normal rate.
At the bar. Beth decided to begin the second phase of their little plan.
"Hey, I hate to cut this short, but I have to go." Beth looked at her watch. "I was supposed to be at home an hour ago. Susan and I are going out for dinner."
"What? But we just got here." Harm turned quickly toward her. 'Don't leave me' was written all over his face.
"Harm…I think you can handle this….besides, you said it was over….right?" She gave him sly grin and then looked at Mac over her shoulder.
He narrowed his eyes at her. "Right." Beth was fast becoming another woman who knew him too well.
"Weren't you supposed to meet Jack here later?"
"Yeah…he should be here, any minute." He smiled sheepishly, knowing she had seen the panic he was feeling. 'I'll be okay Beth."
She turned back toward him before she left and said. "I'm really sorry about this, about the job. You're a good guy Harm, you were a great partner."
"Thanks Beth" Unable to resist teasing her one more time, he said. "You weren't a bad co - pilot."
She looked back at him again, "Yeah right…whatever you say, Rabb." She laughed as she left, remembering the good natured sense of competition between them.
As she left, he thought about leaving as well, calling Jack and telling him to meet him at Benzigers. It was no good though, because then he would have to walk by Mac's table to leave and he didn't think he could stand the awkwardness that he knew would spring up between them. He slid off of the bar stool and walked over to the dart board, at the other side of the bar. He kept his back to them all, praying they wouldn't see or recognize him.
Mac had seen him, and she had stopped trying to hide it from Sturgis and Varise.
"Why don't you go over and say hello?" Sturgis asked, tentatively.
"No, if he wanted to talk to me, he would have already come over." If he hadn't bothered to answer any of her messages, why would he talk to her now? "Besides, it looks like he had a date. Maybe she's coming back."
"I happen to know that is his partner, Beth O'Neil, you remember Commander O'Neil Mac, don't you?"
"Yes, I do, now that you mention it." Mac lied. "She is working for the Company now?"
"Yes, that's what I've heard. Go on over Mac."
"No, he doesn't look like he wants to socialize. You can go over if you like."
Sturgis was starting to panic, wondering where the heck Jack was He looked at Varise, silently pleading for some kind of stall tactic.
Varise was very cool, "Let's just order something first, then we can go over, that way we'll know by then if he wants to join us."
Sturgis looked at her, he was so grateful he could have kissed her. Sturgis hadn't liked the idea of setting Harm up like this; he knew the possibility of this whole situation blowing up in their faces, was pretty high. Jack blew off his concerns and told him he'd never change. He would be the preacher's kid until the day he died…and Sturgis agreed…smugly.
Outside the bar…
Beth walked around the side of McMurphy's and heard Jack call to her. "Hey, did Mac show up yet?"
Beth nodded, "Yeah…she's there and I hate to admit it, but it's awkward as hell. We need to get this thing started or get them the hell away from each other." She shivered, "It's terrible."
They walked to the back entrance. "Trust me Beth….I've never steered you wrong yet, have I?'
"I don't know…there was that time over Uzbekistan…"
She laughed knowing he wouldn't like the reminder of a flight that lasted a little longer than usual. The incident had been what they called, 'the time they had gotten lost over the 'stans'. They had flown over Kurdistan, Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan and Beth didn't think they would ever get to Afghanistan.
"Oh shut up….you're as bad as Sturgis. One nag in this crowd is enough."
"Okay, okay." She held up her hands laughing at her sometime partner.
"Keep it down; we don't want them to see us…yet." He stepped into the back entrance of the bar with Beth following closely behind him.
Sturgis could see Jack but Mac could not, since she was facing the front door. He gave Sturgis a nod and Sturgis reluctantly put his part of the plan in place. "Mac, Varise and I are going to see what kind of music we can find on the juke box. Would you mind ordering our drinks? The waitress seems to have gotten lost."
"No…not at all."
As Sturgis and Varise rose to go, Mac walked over to the bar. She walked to the side nearest to Harm. She ordered their drinks and then could not help turning toward Harm. The sight of him never failed to strike her physically. He was so handsome, in so many ways; attraction sparked, every time she looked at him.
She knew she was going to have to speak to him, she decided to just get it over with, she figured as soon as he knew she was there, he would leave anyway.
"Hey…stranger." She cautiously walked over to him, not sure what to expect.
He turned to look at her, his eyes belying how much seeing her meant to him. He had missed her, just being near her. Beth had been right, when he looked into her eyes he knew, it wasn't over, and he would do everything all over again, with only one exception. He wouldn't have let things spin out of control; he wouldn't have let Webb's presence change what he came there to Paraguay to do, tell her he loved her. He still did, with all his heart.
"Hey." He returned his attention to the dartboard, throwing his last dart, hitting dead center on the target.
They were being observed as they began their familiar dance, by all the friends that were involved in this little ruse.
There was also another observer, who was present unbeknownst to the rest of them. A man that stood to lose more than 100 dollars, if this evening went the way Beth O'Neil hoped it would. He figured he had better odds than Beth, if history was any indicator. Rabb would put his foot in his mouth; he always did, where Mac was concerned.
Mac took a step toward him, the dance already beginning.
"How are you?" she asked, still being cautious.
Harm's defenses went up immediately. "I'm alright" And as though the words he said had a will of their own, he continued, "Didn't your boyfriend tell you?"
Mac looked down, her expression drawing into a frown, 'here we go' she thought. She the look on his face and the tone of his voice, cutting through any hope she had of a civil conversation with him. She steeled herself to answer him. "No…he didn't…and he's not…" 'Oh God, what was the point? He didn't believe her before…he wouldn't now.
Across the room….
Webb could not keep from smiling. It had happened even more quickly than he had hoped. The looks on both of their faces were clear evidence of that.
Beth and Jack had been watching too, and Beth wasn't going to let this happen. Who knew when they would be able to get these two in the same place again? She went swiftly over to the juke box, nudging Sturgis and Varise out of the way. "Stand aside…this situation calls for the big guns."
She threw in the money, and punched a sure fire conversation stopper. Bonnie Raitt's "Lovers Will" began to flow throughout the bar, its melancholy tones settling over them.
Who'll take the only hearts they've got….and throw them into the fire,
Who'll risk their own self respect…in the name of desire?
As Mac started to turn and walk away, the words seemed to strike them both at the same time. Harm was the first to speak.
"Mac…I'm sorry, I know you were just…I'm just…I was 'let go' today."
Her expression softened immediately. "I'm sorry." Mac stepped closer to him and he turned more fully toward her. Their body language indicating an open door. "You know… I saw you on television, when you landed that C – 130 on that carrier."
"Yeah, my boss and 50 million others did too." He looked at her indicating that that was how he lost his job.
"What will you do now?" Mac kept her voice low, still not sure he was finished being angry.
"I don't know."
"You could talk to the Admiral." She asked hopefully.
He answered almost too quickly, his defenses firmly in place. "That door is closed Mac, I'm not going back."
Who'll regret every thing they've done
And who'll get the bill?
Lovers will…
Mac folded her arms in front of her chest, stepping more closely, taking another chance…risking her heart, as the song had said. Harm had risked his life; so she was going out into the deep, just one more time. She loved him, she had tried not to, but seeing him had brought it all back, stronger than before.
"I miss you Harm." The statement was simple and sincere and it penetrated the wall Harm was struggling to keep between them.
He could not look at her; he looked back at the target and continued. "I miss you." He stood motionless, wishing for all he was worth that he had something to do with his hands. He looked down and jammed them into the front pockets of his jeans.
She took another step closer and placed her hand on his arm and he automatically looked into her eyes. "Thank you for what you did for us."
Across the room….
Webb knew as soon as she reached out to touch Harm that it was over. They had crossed the divide; any chance of a relationship with Sarah was over. He quietly stood, and walked out of the bar, unseen by either of them. He caught the eye of Beth O'Neil, and his look told her, that he knew he had lost more than a bet.
Harm had only heard 'us' when Mac was speaking to him. His eyes flared with suppressed anger. "I didn't do it for anyone…but you."
"Okay" She looked away from him, the intensity of his gaze making it hard to think. 'Thank you for what you did…for me." She wasn't going to back away, impulsively; she reached up and brushed a kiss on his cheek.
"Mac." His arms reach out for her, that quickly, his conscious mind blocked out everyone else in the room.
She came into his arms, reveling in the feel of them closing around her. She brushed her cheek against his and he turned his head toward her. Their lips met, touched and tasted, until he pulled her into a kiss more intense than any they had ever shared before.
Mac lost track of time, for the first time in her life, losing herself instead in the feelings he was bringing out in her. She held on tightly as his mouth moved over hers, his tongue slipping tentatively then more deeply into her mouth, giving her a rush of sensation from the core of her being.
Placing her hands on each side of his face, she gently pulled back from him, still kissing him lightly, but trying to control the overpowering feelings he could stir inside her, and knowing without a doubt, that any restraint Harm had where she was concerned had disappeared.
"Hey…we'd better slow down." Mac was still catching her breath.
Harm didn't answer but closing his eyes, pressed a kiss on her forehead, what he was feeling was too strong for words.
"How about a dance?" She wanted to do something to slow the pace, but not make it necessary to leave his arms.
He grinned "I thought you didn't like our 'dance.'
Mac looked up at him and he kissed her again as she turned into his arms and pulled him onto the small dance floor. "I've wanted to dance…like this…with you for a long time."
Who'll stalk that little bit of love
That hasn't yet been killed?
Lovers will…
Across the room….
The happy conspirators congratulated themselves on a job well done, as Harm and Mac pulled each other into a close and intimate embrace. Mac felt a tingle down her spine as Harm's hands came to rest low on her back, pulling her infinitely closer to him than she had ever allowed herself to be.
As Mac tucked her head under Harm's chin, and he turned her slightly, she saw their friends, gathered around their table. She pulled back from him and Harm followed her gaze to see Sturgis, Varise, Jack and Beth, all grinning from ear to ear and waving their greeting…innocently.
Harm looked directly at Beth. "What did you do?"
Beth shrugged her shoulders, giving him a sly look she said. "Nothing, just a few friends, gathered together, having a few drinks….watching the dance."
FIN
A/N: I know. pure fluff…I just needed a fluff break. Everyone needs one now and then.
A/N: Yes, my old pal smilin' Jack made an appearance. I can't help it…I just love that guy.
A/N: Here are the lyrics to 'Lovers Will.'
The first time I heard it, I thought that's season nine Harm and Mac, written in a song, sung especially well, by Bonnie Raitt.
Who'll take the only hearts they got
And throw them into the fire?
Who'll risk their own self respect,
In the name of desire
Who'll regret everything they've done
And who'll get the bill?
Lovers will
Who'll hurt each other all the time
And never give it a thought?
Who lie about where they've been
And hope they never get caught?
Who say each others kisses
No longer thrill?
Lovers will.
Lovers will do most anything
For the thrill that only love can bring
If love is a healer, who'll be the first ones ill?
Lovers will
Who'll never know what they've got
Until it's just about gone?
And whose arms will gather up what's left
Just to carry on?
And who'll stalk that little bit of love
That hasn't yet been killed?
Lovers will