Disclaimer: See my profile

A/n this is rated M for the langauge and some adult content. Please heed the warning. This is a one shot for now, but that might change if the mood strikes me or the muse.

Also I blame this one entirely on the muse...

"I said… get out!"

She slid out of his bed and began to look for her clothes. She could hear his angry breathing in the silent apartment and tried not to let it push her out the door. Her red skirt was on the chair in the corner of his room, and her white peasant blouse was on the floor. Her fingers trembled as she pulled on her panties and her bra. She could feel his eyes on her back, but she refused to turn around and give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd hurt her.

"Bitch… Fucking whore…" He said and his voice seemed to echo through the apartment like the tolling of church bells.

Her hands stopped trying to button her blouse and now she turned to meet his dark eyes. "Kevin… Do you remember what I told you a few months ago?"

He looked away from her and studied the wall, muttering under his breath. She could hear the word 'bitch,' again and anger made her cheeks flame.

"You better remember what I told you. You know I'm capable of all of it and much more."

"Get out and don't come back." There was real pain in his voice, but she ignored it instead of trying again to apologize. He wasn't going to listen and she wasn't sure she cared anymore.

"I'm out of here… Don't come to my office, don't call me or come to my place. If you do, I'll call the cops."

"Don't worry," He spat at her as she put on her red heels.

She grabbed her matching purse and her keys. She was almost out of his bedroom when he said, "Did you ever care about me or was it just sex? Have you always loved him and just used me?"

She didn't turn around and let him see the truth in her eyes, the truth she was just realizing she'd known all along. He didn't say anything when she walked away without answering his question. Her hands were trembling as she pulled his key off her key ring and dropped it with a clang on the counter top. It lay there like an accusation, but there was no way to fix this now and she didn't want to even if she could.

--

Garcia pulled her car into the parking lot at her apartment and shut off the motor. How had all of it got so out of control? She'd turned to Kevin in a moment of weakness and stayed with him because she was afraid.

She opened the door of her car and got out. It was three am and she was exhausted. Maybe if she got some sleep, she'd be able to look at things in a different light in the morning. Her mother always said things looked better in the morning. Well… it was the morning now, and things looked really bad. So much for trying to forget her woes with Kevin.

The walk up to her apartment was longer than usual. She unlocked the door and decoded the alarm that Morgan had insisted on installing for her after her encounter with Battle. He lectured her for days about not having an alarm, and she'd finally let him put it in to get him off her back. He'd become extremely over protective since her shooting and it was getting on her nerves. He meant well, but he didn't - no it was better not to pursue that line of thought.

She dropped her bag on the couch and turned on the super eight movie projector while using the bathroom and changing into her pink silk pajamas. She loved silk pajamas and the soft slippery way they felt against her skin. She washed her face and brushed her hair. The home movies were re-wound and she started them playing again just like every night. Soon they would wear out and be lost, she should get them transferred to DVD, but somehow it didn't seem right.

She wondered what her mother would say if she told her what had happened with Kevin. She thought her mother might tell her that it happened to everyone at some time in their lives. But did it make her a bad person? Was she terrible for letting her real feelings just come flying out and hurting Kevin so badly?

--

Garcia didn't wake up until after two in the afternoon. Judging from the way her left ear was aching, she'd slept without moving the entire morning. Now her day was shot, and she had to hurry to get her laundry done and the house cleaned.

By the time she was finished with the chores, and her apartment was fairly shining it was so clean, she'd come to her decision. Then it was time to eat and while she broiled a half breast of chicken and made rice to go with it, she changed her mind a half a dozen times. The food didn't interest her though, and she found herself pushing it around on her plate instead of eating it. Finally she gave up and tried to sleep hoping that her dreams wouldn't be filled with him as they had been for the last weeks.

She was awake again at midnight… It was no use; she was going to have to go see him. It was going to be hard. It was probably going to be humiliating as hell, but fortune favors the bold, or so her mother always said.

She pulled on the first thing she found in the closet. He wouldn't notice what she was wearing anyway, so it didn't matter if she dressed up or down for this. She pulled on pair of old white tennis shoes and grabbed her bag and keys.

"Help me mom," She said to the frozen image on the screen

The screen didn't talk back to her of course, but it would have been nice to have a little moral support for what she was about to do. Then she heard her mother's voice telling her to believe in herself and have confidence just like she had when she had been a child.

She left the apartment and went to her car. It was late, but she couldn't wait and this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have with him over the phone.

--

She stopped in front of his door and tried to make her face arrange itself into lines of happiness and carefree gaiety. It didn't work; instead her hands trembled so hard she had to make fists of her hands. It took all the courage she had to reach up and push the button for his door bell. It rang when she finally made her finger push it and the sound was deafening. She waited for a long time and then rang it again. He was probably asleep. She should have called. What if he was angry with her?

The door opened and he stood there blinking in the lamplight of his living room. "Garcia…" The surprise in his voice wasn't unexpected, but still it made her very nervous. Then she got a good look at him and almost turned around to run away.

He was wearing a chocolate brown terry cloth robe that hung open over a dark blue tee shirt and cranberry colored cotton boxers. The shirt and the boxers clung to his long lean body in a way she never expected. She tried to smile and keep her eyes above his waist, but it was proving nearly impossible. Who knew that young Dr. Reid could look like that under those sweater vests? Oh, she'd imagined what he might look like, but her fantasies had never come close to this.

"Garcia, are you okay… It's late," He asked looking very confused at her scrutiny of him.

"Yeah… um, is it okay if I come in? I really need to talk to you."

"Uh sure…" He squeaked. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Yeah… listen Reid; I'm really sorry that I just barged in."

"It's okay… I wasn't asleep."

He was lying, she could tell from the way his hair was sticking up all of over his head. This was not fair; he was adorable no matter the time of day it appeared. This was going to be really embarrassing.

She followed him inside and sat down while he went to the kitchen. The living room was what she expected. The couch was dark blue leather and the coffee table was glass, stacked with books and magazines. There was a very large big screen television across from the sofa and a huge book case that took up all of one wall. It was filled with books of course. She got up from her perch and went to look at them. He had them all alphabetized by name and subject. It was just so Reid that tears welled up in her eyes. She seemed to be crying at the drop of a hat these days.

"Garcia…" She jumped and nearly screamed.

"Garcia, what's wrong?" He asked.

She turned around and saw that he'd put a tray with two cups of coffee on the table. He was standing there twisting his hands in front of him and looking very confused and upset.

"I'm fine… I just needed to talk to you." She said.

"It's more than that," Reid said. "You haven't made on smart remark, or called me any little pet names since you got here. I can see that you're very upset."

She was sitting at one end of the sofa and he was walking to the middle. She didn't want him so close to her. Why couldn't he sit at the other end of the couch? It was only making things harder for her.

"Yeah sweet thing, you could say that I'm a bit upset."

"What happened," Reid asked his large eyes full of concern and some curiosity. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Only you would think that handsome. It's nothing you've done. It's what I've done that's the problem."

"What did you do? Can you tell me?"

She drew in a deep breath and his scent filled her nostrils even over the steaming cups of coffee that neither of them touched. Her hands were beginning to shake again so she clenched them together in her lap.

"I did something to Kevin that was unforgivable."

She thought that she saw his eyes darken a bit at the mention of Kevin's name, but she couldn't be sure.

"I'm sure if you just apologized everything will be okay." He tried to soothe her.

"No… it's too late… I can't change what I did. Honestly, I don't want to go back now. It would be dishonest."

"Can you tell me what was so terrible?" He was smiling and she was sure that he thought she was over reacting.

So she began her story. "I went to dinner with him last night. We went back to his place and, well things got heated."

Reid's hands tightened in his lap and his eyes narrowed in anger.

"No… not like that…" She hastened to assure him she was okay.

He looked at her for a long time and then he went cherry red in the face. "Oh…"

"Yeah… and well I sort of committed a major faux pas," she laughed.

"What did you do?"

He was so naïve that she was just going to have to come right out and say it for him. "Reid… I sort of have feelings for someone else."

"Oh…" His eyes got all sad and she hurried to correct his assumption.

"No… it's not Morgan. I admit that I had a horrible crush on him for years, but my shooting made me realize that he wasn't the one I really loved. I know it was stupid to start seeing Kevin, but I thought this person could never love me back. I was so afraid to say the words and then tonight happened. I said his name during sex. It's the worst thing a girl can do, or so I've heard."

"Oh…" He said again and he looked even sadder at this admission.

"Damn it Reid… Are you so stupid that you don't get what I'm saying?"

He looked up in surprise at her tone and she could see that he still didn't get it. This was going to be really humiliating, but in for a penny in for a pound. She slid over to him and looked him right in the eye for a long time. The only thing that could be heard was the pounding of her heart and his breathing which was speeding up.

"Oh… you mean me." He squeaked.

"Yes you, I thought I'd have to draw you a picture."

He went red again and she moved even closer. He didn't run away, or speak ,as their faces got closer and closer. Her breathing was getting faster and faster, and her heart felt like it might burst out of her ribs. The time they stared at each other seemed like an eternity and only a second all at the same time. She could smell toothpaste on his breath and see the pores in the skin of his cheeks. The heat from both their bodies radiated out and reached for each other as though two halves were looking to become whole. She heard him swallow hard and it made her decision for her. She leaned in and kissed him. His lips were soft and warm. He jerked away and then leaned back in with a groan of surrender when she put her hands on his thighs and straddled him.

Her tongue pushed against his mouth and her heart rate accelerated to the point she was getting very light headed. He let her tongue enter his mouth and play with his, while her hands moved over his chest and down to the waist band of his boxers.

He pushed her away again; his chest heaving and his face flushed an adorable pink. "Slow down…"

"I'm sorry, I just thought that…"

"Don't be stupid," he whispered hoarsely. "I've been in love with you for so long. I never thought you'd ever see me with Morgan around."

"I'm sorry sweet pea. Let me show you how much I love you."

She kissed him again and he relaxed back against the pillows of the couch till her hands finished playing in his hair and went down to his boxers again. He jerked and gasped, when her hands slipped inside and found his awakening erection.

"Penelope… ya gotta stop honey."

Her hands slid over his shaft and down to cup the heavy sack below and he groaned. "Penelope… please baby."

Her mouth found his neck and her tongue licked his neck at curve of his shoulder. He tasted like nothing she'd ever tasted before and it was making her wet. One hand stayed busy with the hard flesh inside the boxers and the other found it way up to his chest. He groaned again when she began playing with one of his nipples which was hard and erect under the tee shirt.

"Hm… Spencer, you're so beautiful." She sighed into his chest.

"Penelope… I can't… Oh God…"

Warm liquid filled the hand that was stroking his manhood. "I'm sorry…" He gasped several minutes later when his eyes rolled back into place. "I can't believe I did that. I haven't lost control like that since grad school."

She was still sitting in his lap. Her arms were hugging him tightly to her chest and she felt like she'd come home for the first time since her parents died.

"It's okay… I sort of surprised you with all of this and now look at us. Is it too fast for you Spencer?"

"I like that you know," He said.

"You like what?" She inquired, stroking a hand up and down one of his thighs.

"I like you calling me Spencer. No one calls me Spencer and I miss it."

"Well good, I happen to love your name, Spencer." She kissed his chin and he laughed.

"So are we okay…" She asked fearing that maybe he would tell her it was too much too soon.

"I'm okay… I'm great in fact. I can't believe that you're actually here. I've dreamed of this moment for so long."

"Me too… I'm just sorry that we messed up those sexy boxers of yours." She laughed.

He chuckled, "That's what washing machines are for. Should we go to my room and mess up the sheets?

She grinned up at him and climbed off his lap. "Race you!"