Disclaimer: I don't own Ares, Xena, Aphrodite, or Gabby… Xena was mightily mad at Ares after this, and Gabby was pretty dang mad at Xena.... so, whatever damage to their relationships... heh... not my fault?
Rated: PG (but the naughtiness is understood)
Skit #5983: Traditions Revisited.
By Delenn
Gabrielle: Xena, XEEEENA...
Xena: (off screen) Ummm.... I'm a little busy, here....
Gabrielle: I need your help, I'm being ATTACKED!
Xena: (rushing down some random mysterious(tm) corridor towards Gabrielle) I'm coming... What- (slightly out of breath, flustered, and adjusting her armor) what happened.
Gabrielle: (irritably) Took you long enough. I could be dead by now. (huffs and points behind her and off screen) This, is what!
camera pans around to behind Gabrielle to reveal--
Aphrodite: (tapping foot, checking manicure, and looking majorly unhappy) Warrior-Babe, we need to talk.
Xena: (disbelieving) This? You said you were being attacked!
Gabrielle: Okay, so maybe it was a slight exaggeration.... (weakly) but she was really persistent?
flash of "angry, not regular, but angry" blue light, Ares appears. Because light, being abiotic, is so capable of being angry.
Ares: WHAT?! Xena had to rush off because my SISTER was pestering Blondie? (turns to Xena) Princess, let them sort this out....
Xena: (making sharp slitting of throat and other 'shut up before I kill you' gestures) Heh, weren't you, umm, doing something... because that war that I was trying to stop you from creating, won't get started without you... (falsely cheerful voice)
Ares: (confused) Huh? There's no.... (gets it) right, right, that war. Well, see, I was just.... umm.... checking up on 'Dite, and saw her here.... I couldn't resist, had to... see what was going on.
Gabrielle: (suspicious) What's going on here? War? What war?
Aphrodite: Umm, ex-squeze me? Could we get back to ME? (aside to Ares) Pppchh, like you went to all that trouble of GodTV to check up on me. You were so spying on Warrior-Babe.
Gabrielle: (aside to Xena) She does know that we can hear her still, right?
Aphrodite: (grins cheerfully at the others) So, Warrior-Babe, there's going to be this Chosen thingy, and you so have to come.
Xena and Ares pale
Xena: Heh, chosen thing? What. Why would I go to that?
Aphrodite: (oblivious) Well, I convinced daddy that we needed a chosen-god bonding thing. So there's gonna be this retreat. Of course, it's totally for your sake. I've decided to give you both counseling.
Gabrielle: (yells, because she just happened to know all the chosen myths and just now figured all this out) Xena! CHOSEN! You're a chosen! Ares' chosen!? Wait, isn't that a story? Should have tipped me off. (shakes her head) Never min. The point is, you didn't tell me! Ever. Not once in two hundred stories!
Xena: (bashfully) It slipped my mind?
Gabrielle: (storming out) Fine. Go. See if I tell you any of MY secrets. Miss Smarty-Pants. (calls back) And I so know why you were "BUSY." Why do you think I came to get you.
Aphrodite: Well, so you're coming? (claps her hands) Yay! My work is done.
disappears in hearts, pink sparkles, rose petals, or anything else you can associate with love.
Ares: Hmm, not like they'd give us a say or anything.
Xena: (rounds on Ares) You were spying on me! With your GodTV! You said you only watched wars and family tussles on that!
Ares: Uh.... TPTB made me?
The End
Rated: PG (but the naughtiness is understood)
By Delenn
Gabrielle: Xena, XEEEENA...
Xena: (off screen) Ummm.... I'm a little busy, here....
Gabrielle: I need your help, I'm being ATTACKED!
Xena: (rushing down some random mysterious(tm) corridor towards Gabrielle) I'm coming... What- (slightly out of breath, flustered, and adjusting her armor) what happened.
Gabrielle: (irritably) Took you long enough. I could be dead by now. (huffs and points behind her and off screen) This, is what!
camera pans around to behind Gabrielle to reveal--
Aphrodite: (tapping foot, checking manicure, and looking majorly unhappy) Warrior-Babe, we need to talk.
Xena: (disbelieving) This? You said you were being attacked!
Gabrielle: Okay, so maybe it was a slight exaggeration.... (weakly) but she was really persistent?
flash of "angry, not regular, but angry" blue light, Ares appears. Because light, being abiotic, is so capable of being angry.
Ares: WHAT?! Xena had to rush off because my SISTER was pestering Blondie? (turns to Xena) Princess, let them sort this out....
Xena: (making sharp slitting of throat and other 'shut up before I kill you' gestures) Heh, weren't you, umm, doing something... because that war that I was trying to stop you from creating, won't get started without you... (falsely cheerful voice)
Ares: (confused) Huh? There's no.... (gets it) right, right, that war. Well, see, I was just.... umm.... checking up on 'Dite, and saw her here.... I couldn't resist, had to... see what was going on.
Gabrielle: (suspicious) What's going on here? War? What war?
Aphrodite: Umm, ex-squeze me? Could we get back to ME? (aside to Ares) Pppchh, like you went to all that trouble of GodTV to check up on me. You were so spying on Warrior-Babe.
Gabrielle: (aside to Xena) She does know that we can hear her still, right?
Aphrodite: (grins cheerfully at the others) So, Warrior-Babe, there's going to be this Chosen thingy, and you so have to come.
Xena and Ares pale
Xena: Heh, chosen thing? What. Why would I go to that?
Aphrodite: (oblivious) Well, I convinced daddy that we needed a chosen-god bonding thing. So there's gonna be this retreat. Of course, it's totally for your sake. I've decided to give you both counseling.
Gabrielle: (yells, because she just happened to know all the chosen myths and just now figured all this out) Xena! CHOSEN! You're a chosen! Ares' chosen!? Wait, isn't that a story? Should have tipped me off. (shakes her head) Never min. The point is, you didn't tell me! Ever. Not once in two hundred stories!
Xena: (bashfully) It slipped my mind?
Gabrielle: (storming out) Fine. Go. See if I tell you any of MY secrets. Miss Smarty-Pants. (calls back) And I so know why you were "BUSY." Why do you think I came to get you.
Aphrodite: Well, so you're coming? (claps her hands) Yay! My work is done.
disappears in hearts, pink sparkles, rose petals, or anything else you can associate with love.
Ares: Hmm, not like they'd give us a say or anything.
Xena: (rounds on Ares) You were spying on me! With your GodTV! You said you only watched wars and family tussles on that!
Ares: Uh.... TPTB made me?