I stand at the top of Sunnydale tower, seeing the houses, the shops, the whole town stretched out before me. I look up, see the stars twinkling in the clear sky. To think perhaps I once came from up there, came into existence in the vastness of the universe.
For long as I can remember, my life was filled with tradgedy. For instance, when dad left my whole world fell apart. Mum didn't speak for practically days. Buffy locked herself in her room, rarley ever coming out. I was to young to truly under stand, but their sorrows pervaded the whole house. I was drowning in it. That was when I began to fall apart.
Then there was mum. I remember the look on Buffy's face when she came to tell me. I couldn't take it. I wanted for it to all end, right there. But Buffy and the Scooby gang comforted me. I thought that they cared about me. What a fool I was!
When I found out I was the key, I didn't know what to do. Was that all I was, a lie? A piece of energy with false memories? Is that the only why people pretended to care about me? They were afraid I'd destroy their world? I was petrified. So I followed my sisters example- I ran away. When Glory kidnapped me, I thought people would come to save me from her. No, not to save me , but to save themselves from what would happen to them if Glory used my power. After all, why should I matter? I'm not real, after all. I'm just the object, something to protect, like an amulet some demon wants. Why they didn't just put me in a glass case in The Magic Box I don't know.
Oh, come and look at this freak of nature! She's a mythical object in human form! We only feed her once a week but it doesn't matter because she isn't real! So she cant have feelings!
Hah! Some life!
But I suppose it hasn't all been bad.
When Buffy sacrificed herself for me, I realized she truly did care about me. Not as some weapon of great power, but for who I am, Dawn Summers, her sister. The others seemed to hate me from then on out. I could see it in their eyes.
Its your fault Buffy's dead.
If it weren't for you, Buffy would still be alive.
But tonight was the last straw. Spike came over. I was in the kitchen when I heard his voice.
"Arghh! If it weren't for the nibblet she'd still be alive! Sometimes I wish Dawn doesn't exist!"
But I don't. Not really.
Then Xanders voice.
"Calm down Spike! We all know if it weren't for Dawn Buffy would still be alive, but..."
I couldn't bear it. They hate me, they all hate me! I ran past them and out the door, Willow's pleading to come back ringing in my ears.
So here I stand, at the top of the clock tower, sick of the world.
I often wonder whether there is an afterlife for me, seeing as I'm not human an' all. But I know that humans must have a heaven-and Buffy will be there. And anyway, even if there is just blackness for me, anything's better than this world. This world of pain, anger, hurt, loss. I raise my head to the sky and scream, a hollow, inhuman wail, filled with all my anguish and sorrows. It echoes out through the town, ringing across the surrounding hills. It has imbedded in its sound all the fears and tragedies of Dawn Summers, the girl that never was.
Memories flash before my eyes. Dad leaving, mum dying, my fake life, Buffy.
Then, suddenly perfectly calm again, I take on last glance at the town, spot my house, and curse the whole world to hell. Then I lean forward, and dive off the balcony. Dimly, wrapped up in my own misery, I hear the clock strike twelve. My last thoughts:
At least I'll be with you sister.
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This is doovo2, signing out!
