"Pookie!" Maureen whined, watching Joanne walk out of the loft, literally stamped her foot and pouted. She collapsed on the couch, staring at the ceiling, leaving a thick awkward tension to drown everyone else in.
Mark looked at each of his friends, specifically avoiding eye contact with him and the diva. Rolling his eyes he decided to be the mature one, as always, and walked over to sit next to Maureen.
"What did I do to deserve this, Marky?" she pouted, turning her big eyes to him.
Resisting the urge to roll them again, he responded, "Maureen, maybe you could just talk to her? Maybe listen to what she's trying to say?"
Her eyes widened, "You agree with her?" her voice cold, her tone laced with shock, hurt, and the all-too-familiar sounds of Mark being wrong to assume she won't overreact.
"I just think that you didn't try to hear her out-"
"Fine!" she stood up, and strutted her way to the door.
Mark sighed and rolled his eyes again. "Someone should go talk to her; we don't need her terrorizing the neighborhood."
The other three nodded their heads in agreement, before Roger, Mark and Collins all turned to look at Mimi.
When she noticed they were all waiting for her to leave, she shook her head rapidly. "Oh no, I'm not doing it. You know how she gets, I'm half her size! She could kill me with one punch!"
Mark rolled his eyes again, "She's not going to hit you, Meems."
"Well, if you're so sure of that you go talk to her." She said, crossing her arms sternly.
"She won't listen to me now. C'mon Mimi, she's your best friend." Mark pleaded, uncontrollably uneasy not knowing whether or not Maureen was wreaking havoc.
"She is not my best friend!" Mimi retorted automatically, but at Mark's raised eyebrows, sighed, confusion written on her face. "Fuck, when did that happen?"
"Please, Meems? Just make sure she's okay?"
She sighed deeply and spared one last look to Collins, who shrugged and gave her a hopeful glance. She looked back to Roger and when he didn't say anything, forced her herself off the couch and into her coat before heading for the door. "Fine. Have fun with your hand tonight, baby." She called, without turning around. She heard his frustrated groan and what she can assume was a scream of pain from Mark after Roger punched him.
She walked a few blocks, listening for screams that only Maureen could create.
After spotting her off to the side, leaning against a building, arms wrapped around herself, Mimi's irritation melted away. As dramatic as Maureen could be, Mark was right. She was her best friend.
She walked up to her and wordlessly linked her arm through Maureen's, giving her a small smile. Maureen tried to give her one back, but it came out sad, so Mimi led her further down the street in silence.
They walked in silence for a while, Mimi waiting for the rant Maureen was about to go off on. Sure enough, Maureen sighed and rolled eyes before muttering, "Joanne's being a bitch. I really can't understand why I still love her."
Mimi smiled and squeezed the other girl's hand, "Sweetie, Roger's a bitch every day and I still love him." She smiled wider at the amusement in Maureen's eyes. "That's how you know you're really in love. When you want to shove their fucking head through the wall, but then you miss them and ya know, feel bad when they have a concussion."
Maureen smiled, in thought. "I do love Joanne, I just wish she wouldn't call me a slut every chance she gets." At Mimi's shocked look, she continued. "Well, she never says it, but she implies it!"
The other girl laughed dryly, before taking a deep breath. "Well I can't help there, Reen. Roger never implies anything, instead he uses the actual words."
Maureen looked at her friend, seeing a touch of pain grace her features. "How are things with you and Roger? You guys looked fine today, but you were quieter than usual…" she wanted the conversation off of her and Joanne, but a big part of her was genuinely curious about how the dysfunctional couple were doing.
The girls had ended up at the park, both collapsing on a bench. Mimi avoided all eye contact before answering. "I don't know," she shrugged, "Half the time we can't stay away from each other, the other half we're screaming and fighting." She paused, finishing quietly. "It got really bad a few nights ago."
"Same thing as usual?" Maureen pushed gently. Mimi nodded slowly, before bringing her legs on the bench and hugging them to her chest.
"I don't even remember why we were fighting in the first place." She laughed lightly; Maureen tried not to frown at how fake it sounded. "We both got pissed, which led to him bringing my job at the Cat Scratch into the argument, so naturally I brought up him not having a job. Then he went on about smack and how I'm too young to have any real problems to shoot up over. So I said ditching me for Santa Fe didn't help, so he threw Benny in my face and how I ran right back to him." She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. "Then I decided it would be a good idea to bring up April." She opened her eyes and turned to Maureen, "It wasn't."
Maureen pulled her in for a hug. The pout on her lips no longer for her own problems, but for the sadness radiating off the little girl in her arms. It was times like this she remembered how young Mimi really was. She could kick the asses of most adult men, abuse drugs until she almost died in the park, and dance on a pole each night, but seeing her cry over the man she loved more than anything brought youth and innocence back to her pale face.
She pulled back after Maureen placed a kiss on the top of her head, and gave her a small smile as the diva wiped her tears. "I'm sorry, Reen. It's just so annoying. He expects me just to forget what was said when he's over it, but sometimes it just hurts so fucking bad." She shook her head rapidly, hoping to talk herself out of more tears.
Maureen pushed the hair off of the young girls face, "It's okay, Meems. Believe me when I tell you, Roger can definitely be an asshole." She smiles when Mimi starts to laugh and wraps an arm around her small shoulders. "But take it from somebody who knew him for years before we met you, you make him happy."
"Sometimes I just think it's more harmful than helpful, though. Ever since Angel left," she paused, letting a tear slip down, and resting her head on Maureen's shoulder who had tears in her own eyes at the mention of Angel. "I keep trying to make the most out of everything. I could die next month, fuck, I could die later today, I just don't know. And it was a miracle I didn't die when you and Joanne found me a few months ago. And I love him, I do, but I don't want to spend the short time I have left fighting with him every day."
Maureen pulled back and looked Mimi in the eye. "I know it sucks, sweetheart. But that boy loves you." When Mimi looked down and let a few more tears slip out, Maureen was even more determined to not let Roger and Mimi ruin the best thing that would ever happen to them. "Mimi, I can't deny that you guys fight, because you do, every second of everyday. But so do me and Joanne! Roger loves you, Mimi and I've never seen him so happy. Are you worried about April?" she asked, wiping the fresh tears on her cheeks.
Mimi shrugged, "Sometimes. He always talks about how happy he was before AIDS and the heroin and sometimes I just think he would have been happier with her. If April hadn't died, he'd probably still be with her, never have met me, and be happier than he is now."
"Meems, he used to cheat on her a lot. The only reason he was so happy was because he was sleeping with a million different girls and was too high to realize anything." At Mimi's irritated look, she quickly added. "You probably don't want to hear about that, sorry.
She shrugged again, "He obviously cared about her enough to be miserable for the next two years." When Maureen opened her mouth to protest Mimi cut her off with a bitter laugh. "Sometimes I hate her. Like really, seriously, hate her. Which is crazy, right? I've never met April and yet, I hate her. Seeing the pain she caused him, seeing how much guilt and anger he feels every day, makes me hate her so much."
Maureen could just wipe the hair out of her tear-soaked eyes and wait, knowing nothing could make this situation better. But Mimi knew she was there for her, and loved her to pieces and not for the first time, Maureen hoped it was enough.
"Sometimes I think about what would have happened if I died on Christmas Eve." Mimi whispered, staring at the concrete. Maureen's eyes widened and she involuntarily held her breath, her heart racing at what the Latina was going to say next. Mimi's eyes fluttered close and the slight twitch in her eyelids and look of discomfort on her face told Maureen that she was forcing back tears with all her might.
As much as it pained Maureen to see her sad, she had to admit, the kid was tough.
"I know people think that I hate April because Roger loved her." Mimi whispered, voice thick, eyes still closed. "But I don't. I'm not happy that he loved her, and I can't stand knowing she's the reason he's so miserable, but that's not why. I'm scared I'm gonna be just like her."
Maureen froze, eyes stopped blinking, lungs stopped breathing, heart possibly stopped beating. She took the young girls face gently in her hands and turned her until she was looking straight at her. She waited for Mimi's eyes to flutter open before speaking, voice shakier than she'd ever heard. "Meems, if you ever feel like you're gonna-" she took a deep breath, not being able to think the word let alone speak it. "Mimi, if you start to feel like… like that, you need to tell Roger. Or me, or Mark. Anyone. Okay? Promise me, Mimi." Her voice laced with desperation and pleads she otherwise would have never dared let anyone hear. But this stubborn little dancer meant something to her, goddamnit, and everyone else for that matter and she wasn't going to let her go without a fight.
Mimi smiles sadly, and shakes her head lightly. "That's not what I meant, Mo. I'm not gonna kill myself."
Maureen let the air escape from her lungs in one quick movement, a relieved smile lighting up her face. She squeezed Mimi's shoulder before dropping her head slightly so she could look her in the eye. "Then what is it, honey?"
Mimi started to say something, but quickly closed her mouth. She looked away before answering, "Roger was a mess when she died. Mark, Collins, you, even Benny has told me that. And I saw it myself when I first met him, but yet he's managed to get over it and be okay with being with me. What's gonna happen, Mo? I die and a year later he's happy with another girl? Probably someone who's never even seen a needle and would never dream of stripping." She rolled her eyes angrily, but there was a sadness Maureen was scared she'd never get out of her head.
"Mimi." Maureen waited until their eyes were locked before finishing in the firmest voice she could manage. "Roger has never loved anyone the way he loves you, okay? Mimi that boy would go to the ends of the earth for you, and yeah, it took him awhile to get his head out of his ass but he doesn't want anyone but you."
She pushed the hair out of Mimi's face and grabbed her hand, speaking softer than before. "Mimi, when Roger first saw you on Christmas Eve, the look of relief on his face was undeniable. And for those few moments when he thought you were dead… Meems, I couldn't look away. I thought he was going to die right there on the spot. That amount pain on his face was never there after April died."
Mimi was quiet, eyes focused on the concrete beneath them, her breathing still shallow. Maureen waited before asking, "What else is scaring you?"
Mimi's brown eyes darkened, a look of fear on her face that Maureen had never seen before, a stray slowly sliding down her cheek. "Roger loved April, obviously. But so did you guys right?"
Maureen nodded slowly, a knot forming in her stomach when Mimi's lips twitched up in a devastatingly painful smile.
"April was Roger's girlfriend, and a close friend to all of you, but the only time I ever heard about her was when I first met Roger and he told me his last girlfriend killed herself. That's all I know about her. No one talks about her, no one watches Mark's films with her in them, no one has pictures, no one cares. I get that it's different and she chose to leave, but she still meant something to you guys. I'm terrified that I'm going to die and no one is ever going to acknowledge that I was ever here." No more tears fall, but her voice is thick with sadness and Maureen thinks this is the first time she's ever seeing Mimi truly petrified about her rapidly approaching end.
"Mimi you have to know that's not true." Maureen's voice cracked and tears welled up in her eyes, her heart breaking. She could feel Mimi's thin body next to hers, could feel her breath on her face, but still had to reach up and stroke her cheek to make sure she was still there.
Mimi's fate was something there were all aware of, but she was usually so upbeat and energetic that they could pretend it wasn't happening. Seeing her scared and accepting made it real, and Maureen sick to her stomach.
"Meems, April was Roger's girlfriend, and we were friends but she didn't mean nearly as much as you do. You're family, honey." She wiped the tears off Mimi's face with the back of her hand, smiling when Mimi wiped her own away. "Mimi, I'm scared to death to let you go. No one has ever been more like a sister to me and the last thing I want to ever do is say goodbye." She pulled Mimi in for a tight hug, eyes drifting shut and committing every detail to memory as Mimi holds on just as tight.
"I thank god every day that we met you, Meems." She whispered into the other girls' hair, "You've changed us all, made us all better people. You mean the world to us Mimi; you're keeping us all together."
"Angel used to tell me that we all had more than one soul mate." Mimi said, pulling back just far enough to see Maureen's face, their hold on each other still tight. "I never believed her until I met you guys. I think we were all supposed to find each other."
Maureen wiped the remaining tears from Mimi's face, as Mimi did the same for her. They stayed on the bench for quite some time, letting a peaceful silence wash over them. Mimi's head on Maureen's shoulder, their arms still around each other.
She squeezed Mimi tighter to her body, knowing that one day, sooner rather than later, she wouldn't be there anymore and the memory would be all they had left. Tears welled up but she pushed them back, wanting to remember being happy with Mimi and not mournful. She wasn't sure if she agreed with Angel's theory but when the girl she admired as her little sister reached up and placed a thankful kiss on her cheek, she smiled, and decided to take her word for it.
Angel hadn't been wrong yet.
A/N: I love Maureen and Mimi friendship and hate that they get overlooked.
I'm thinking of adding two more chapters (one with Maureen going back to Joanne after this talk, and one with Mimi going back to Roger.) Please lemme know if you have ideas or suggestions!
Please review!