Jacob caught my arm with a shivering hand. "Please, Bella. I'm begging"
His dark eyes were glistening with tears. A lump filled my throat.
"Jake, I have to--"
"You don't, though. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie. For me."
The engine of Carlisle's Mercedes purred; the rhythm of the thrumming spiked when Alice revved it impatiently.
I could stay. Anger at Edward ran through me. He had left me, and here I was off to save him. I looked up at Jacob's eyes; they were full of pain. Jacob had been here for me, the whole time. Except that period after he changed, but he had made up for that by trying to tell me. He had never once broken his promise to me, never once hurt me. Edward had. He had left me, so why was I off to save him? He had torn a hole in my chest, so why did I care what happened to him? I owed my loyalty to Jake now, not Edward.
"Bella?" Alice called impatiently. "Are you coming?" What about Alice? Did I owe her? Should I go running off to Italy and bloodthirsty vampires trying to save her brother? She was my friend, but she had left too. She knew what it would do to me, and as much as I loved her, and the rest of the Cullens, I knew what I had to do. As if he had seen the resolve in my eyes, the anger, Jake suddenly looked hopeful. I couldn't do that to him, I couldn't leave him, not to know whether I was coming back. I knew what it had done to me, when the person—or vampire—I had loved left me.
"No, Alice. I can't." I heard Jake gasp, and then he crushed me in a bear hug that almost suffocated me.
Alice looked at us in disbelief. "Bella?" She said weakly.
"Alice... He left me, how do I know he's not going to do it again? You can go save him, you and Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle. I'm not going to let him hurt me again." Jacob beamed, Alice groaned.
"He won't listen to anyone but you. He won't!"
"Disguise your thoughts, sneak up on him. Can't you just like sing a song or something?" There were ways to hide what you were thinking. I didn't need to go. "Tell him I'm still alive..." I trailed off.
"No, Bella!" She wasn't going to give up without a fight, but I had had enough. Her betrayal was just as bad as Edward's. My momentary joy at seeing her again wasn't really what I was thinking, what I felt.
"Just go, Alice. Go." Of course, I didn't want Edward to die—I still loved him, after all—but not enough to risk my life, and Jake's happiness, for his.
Alice hesitated, deliberating. Should she go, or try to convince me to stay? The second option was no use, and every second she spent here was one less she could spend saving Edward.
"I'm not changing my mind, Alice. I'm sorry." My voice broke on the last words, and Jacob said, "Leave her alone, leech."
Alice waited a second, looked at me hopelessly, and drove off, the Mercedes screeching loud. I watched as she drove out of sight, then turned my eyes on Jake. His dark eyes were glad, joyful. "Oh, Bella..." He hugged me again, harder this time.
"I...can't...breathe!" He loosened his arms slightly, and I pulled away and met his eyes.
"Thanks, Bells."
"No problem." But the hole in my chest was opening up again, tearing, the edges ragged. The chance I had just had...to see him, to save him... But I had made a decision. I loved Jacob, maybe I was even in love with him, and I could make him happy. He deserved that much. He had helped me, loved me, been patient with me.
He pulled back and brushed his fingertips along my jaw, each leaving a trail of fire. His eyes smoldered against mine, like his hands against my skin. He leaned in and his lips met mine, and I was surrounded by heat. He was so different from Edward...such opposites. He didn't need to be careful that his fangs didn't touch my skin, that his venom didn't slip into my blood. He didn't need to control his thirst, his need to bite me. His lips were soft, molding with mine. I let him kiss me, and I kissed him back. The hole in my chest seemed almost gone, just a shadow.
Jacob's hands twisted in my hair, and and wrapped my arms around his back tightly. He moaned but pulled away suddenly. I was still lost in his bubble of heat, unwilling to leave it. I felt warm for the first time in months, since...
"Bella." Jacob's voice was soft. I looked up, and saw Charlie's police cruiser pulling up in the driveway. He got out, and Jacob released me fully, only keeping his hand wrapped firmly around mine.
Charlie walked up, and looked around. "Where's Alice?" He asked. His eyes flickered down to Jake's hand around mine. I flinched, and his hand tightened.
"She left," Jacob said when I didn't answer, and I could tell Charlie heard the disgust in his voice.
"Oh." He looked at me warily. He was waiting for either the screaming or the zombie, and neither was going to happen. I smiled at him, and walked past him into the house with Jacob.