Natalya doesn't remember why she's screaming. Everything is red and she thinks- oh god it really is a body. She screams and cries until her voice is hoarse and her head is ringing. Then she screams&cries some more.
Suddenly she's being yanked to her feet but she fights and falls back again. This time the hands around her arm are harsh and she sees green eyes and hears someone scream, "Stop! Do you want to die."
She stops and sags to the ground. The hands yank her again but she just falls. Her head hurts, she needs to lay down to sleep. And sleep came in the form of a dark curtain whisking suddenly across her vision.
2.
She isn't pretty when she cries. Her features become warped in a way. And she makes horrible sounds, like an animal dying. So she stops crying. She punches instead. Channels her sadness into anger. It keeps her strong.
The next time she finds herself crying in Katya's arms, she lashes out. Katya screams because apparently Natalya is scary. She is prettier when she is angry. No dying animal noises or warped faces.
3.
She watches Toris get beat bloody. She doesn't cry. She tips over a priceless vase and blames it on the nervous boy who looks like he's staring death in the face. She almost feels bad.
She thens remembers she's scary. She wears that like a suit of armor now.
4.
"God, Nat, you're mean", the blonde man laughs. She smiles in an almost agreement.
He needs a haircut and a fashion sense and a filter and maybe he should try to not wear his heart on his sleeve. Is this what being a super-power is like? Acting nice and bright even though everyone knows you're a fucking psychopath? He should just act like he really is— oh God. Natalya is pretending too. She's not scary, she's fucking scared.
Dread settles in her stomach and she wishes for the cold again. The cold of her country or of herself? She'll take both.
5.
She throws her brush at the hotel mirror and it makes Toris jump. She finds it sad. Centuries ago he would be the one breaking the mirror and she would jump.