Innocent
"Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catching days?
When everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you,
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep?
Before the monsters caught up to you?"
-Taylor Swift
"Please tell me one of those drinks is for Ric," Damon heard as he took back his fifth shot of whisky, never flinching from the burn of the alcohol as it slid down his throat.
He opened his eyes slowly as he set the shot glass on the smooth countertop, and smirked dazedly, without even turning around to face her mint, judgey eyes.
He knew that stern voice and accusatory tone anywhere. If only he had become better at avoiding it.
"Ric's being 'responsible,' and playing 'interim History Department head,' considering Mr. Fells was hung from a tree. I, however, am still being Damon. Someone's gotta remain constant in this trippy little town," the vampire offered nonchalantly, and Bonnie sighed as she took a seat in the empty bar stool next to him. "Shot?" he asked.
"No thanks, I'm good," she sneered, and Damon shrugged apathetically as he took back two more, and exhaled loudly afterwards.
She could smell the scent of the pure liquor radiating off of him, and she observed the way his raven locks that usually were a bit messy were totally discheveled across his forehead. His blue eyes were unusually dead, and the debonair smirk he was wearing seemed a bit too complacent, even for Damon Salvatore.
"What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be making witches brew for dinner, or something?" he asked, finally turning to face her.
Through Damon's daze, he could vaguely make out her round face and smooth brown skin, as her green eyes peered back at his, and she tucked a loose strand of her wavy hair behind her ear.
Bonnie was hot.
"Damon, you're bombed. On a Monday night. The last thing you should be worrying about is what I'm making for dinner," she replied, folding her arms across her chest.
Bonnie was hotter when she wasn't talking.
"Shh, you're ruining my ambiance," he winked, and she rolled her eyes. "Also, that wasn't the only seat open in this entire joint. Why'd you choose it if you think I'm so annoying?" he asked and Bonnie sighed.
"I'm waiting for Jeremy's shift to end. We have to talk," she said shortly, and Damon stared at her for a moment when he noticed how defensive yet sad her tone of voice was.
He knew exactly what she and Jeremy had to "talk" about- Elena told him what happened when Bonnie did the spell to reveal veiled matter, and they were met with a little vampire problem named Annabelle.
Personally, Damon didn't really care about Anna, or Jeremy, or even Bonnie for that matter. But he was sure the news about Bonnie's quasi-paranormal-medium boyfriend cheating on her with a vampire ghost, with the final blow delivered to Bonnie by none other than the blonde, bubbly Caroline probably hurt her ego a bit.
Actually, it probably hurt a lot.
"You gonna take him back?" Damon asked suddenly, and Bonnie's eyebrow rose in surprise before she pursed her lips.
"That's not really any of your business-"
"Ha, well that means yes. Bonnie, not for nothing, this juju stuff isn't any of my business, but don't be an idiot," Damon interrupted and she scoffed. "The guy cheated on you. With his ex. Who is a dead ghost. And he didn't tell you. Clearly, he's got issues that you shouldn't worry your witchy little head about," he said, and Bonnie shook her head.
"It was more than that, Damon. And I know it was stupid, but he made a mistake," Bonnie stated, and Damon let out a laugh that made her insides start to boil. "What?"
"You didn't destroy the Talisman, Bonnie, meaning Jeremy can bring her back whenever he wants," he said, and Bonnie bit her lip. "You really think he's gonna be faithful after he's already gotten away with this? Quite the repayment for bringing the kid back to life, huh? Further proof that love is stupid," Damon suddenly snapped, and Bonnie frowned.
His voice had gotten a little bit darker, and his tone no longer playful, but a bit harsher as the seconds past. It honestly would have frightened her a lot more if she weren't a witch, and didn't a lick of power at her disposal to defend herself.
"Why are you so concerned about what I do about Jeremy, anyway?" she finally snapped back, and Damon took back his remaining shots before answering.
He set his hands on the counter, and looked at her. She felt a shiver run down her spine when Damon's icy blue eyes pierced right through her, as cold as winter and as dark as night.
"Because I was a Jeremy once, Bonnie. We don't learn- I never learned," he said, inversely echoing Alaric's advice that was meant to encourage her, and seemingly throwing it back at her. "You may hate me, Bonnie, but I will always tell it like it is, not how it should be. Get used to it," Damon said through his teeth.
Bonnie felt her face getting hot, and fresh tears forming behind her eyes, but she held them back, as she shut her lids.
No. She didn't need to hear this; Damon was just being a jerk, as usual. She didn't have to listen to him at all.
Bonnie hopped out of the stool, and as soon as her boots hit the ground, Damon stopped her by grabbing her arm.
"Leaving so soon?" he asked and she sent him a nasty glare.
"Yeah, Damon. Congratulations, you wanted to be alone- you got your wish," she said, wrestling her arm out of his grip, and quickly walking away.
He felt his entire body slump down a bit as he watched her walk up to Jeremy, say something to him quickly, and walk out of the Grill a few seconds later. The human watched her, confused, as she hurried out, and Damon involuntarily rolled his eyes.
Why was she wasting her time on him, anyway? The Bonnie he thought he knew was stronger than that.
Damon hopped up and stumbled a bit, but eventually caught his balance, and he neared the door to walk out. He noticed Jeremy walking over towards him out of the corner of his eye and he whizzed past him quickly.
He already had one Gilbert to deal with. Dealing with two would be tragic.
Damon pushed the door open and walked outside to just in time to catch Bonnie getting into her car, and he sped over towards her.
"Witchy," he said, and she ignored him as she pulled in her door and turned the ignition.
Damon groaned, and he walked in front of her car, and placed both hands on the hood challengingly before she could attempt to drive off. Bonnie sent him an angry look from inside of the car, but he didn't budge.
They stayed there for a minute, staring at one another.
She finally got out of the car, and stalked right up to him.
"I can make you move, Damon. Consider this a warning," she said lowly, and he shook his head.
"Guess you're gonna have to make me, then," he taunted and she sent him a look of disbelief. "Besides, I have something to say," Damon declared and Bonnie folded her arms again, as she began tapping he foot impatiently.
"I think you've already called me an idiot. Come back to add another insult on-"
"I'm sorry, Bonnie. About that and... your Grandma. I'm... sorry about Sheila," he abruptly said, and Bonnie stood frozen as the words passed his lips smoothly, without a trace of sarcasm behind them.
They both stood there silently, and Damon finally let go of her car hood as he stood up gingerly, and gazed into Bonnie's bewildered eyes.
The words surprised not only her, but himself, as well. Not only was Damon Salvatore not the one to say sorry, but he also wasn't the one to say sorry to Bonnie. He had trouble even letting the forsaken five-letter "S word" cross his lips with Alaric-someone he actually cared about- so why was it so easy this time with someone he didn't care about?
Someone he pretended not to care about.
Bonnie's angry arms dropped to her sides limply and he watched as water filled her eyes and sat on the brim of her lids, but she didn't falter. She just stood there silently and he tucked his hands into his pockets and looked down at the ground.
He always blamed himself for Sheila's death.
Damon knew the real reason was "overexertion," or whatever the witches liked to call it, but he never fully forgave himself for what happened that night. Sheila helped them to open the tomb and he so foolishly and selfishly wanted Katherine out, just to find out that the vampire was never there to begin with.
He was crushed- and not only because he found out Katherine was gone.
He never expressed it to anyone, especially not Bonnie, but when he found out her Grams died that night, something inside of him died.
It was his fault- he knew it. Forget everyone else- Anna, Pearl, Elena, Stefan- he felt the searing pain of his guilt every time he looked at Bonnie and realized that he took her Grams away from her.
It was partially the reason he was so mean to her. If he were mean and he got her to hate him, he'd have no reason to feel upset, and he'd have no time for regrets. But hearing from Elena that Bonnie was confronted with Sheila's ghost brought back everything he felt before.
Hell, he'd kill if someone took Stefan away from him- he was doing everything in his power to save his stupid martyr brother now because he loved him- he was family. And he knew if Bonnie had the chance, she would have done the same for Sheila.
He looked up from the ground and saw that Bonnie had finally let the tears fall and was wiping them away silently with the back of her hand.
Damon knew that Bonnie saw her recently-he knew that unveiling the ghosts opened up a wound that wouldn't soon be healed, and the witch was dealing with missing her, all on her own.
It was the one real thing he regretted, besides loving Katherine. He regretted doing this to Bonnie, and never having enough courage to apologize.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, in a softer tone, and Bonnie sniffled as her eyes met his.
She didn't look angry, or pissed off with him- she sincerely looked like she was full of sorrow; as if the weight of the world that was on her shoulders finally collapsed.
Damon involuntarily moved in towards her, and Bonnie shut her eyes as she felt his strong arms suddenly wrap around her shoulders.
Why was he hugging her? Why did he care?
She opened her eyes again, and she felt strangely at ease in his arms, though she didn't return the embrace. She just took it all in- the cool Autumn air, the silver light of the moon reflecting against his skin.
It was as if he were hugging her not only for her, but for himself.
Bonnie listened to Damon's shallow breathing, and she recognized the sound of the break in his voice before he even spoke.
"I messed up, Bonnie. Messing up- it's what I do. With Stefan, with Elena, with you," he said shakily, and she remained silent as he continued to embrace her. "I-I don't know why I do the things I do," he added in a near whisper, and Bonnie felt a gutwrenching feeling in her stomach.
Did she actually feel bad for him?
Damon Salvatore-the sadistic, arrogant, son of a bitch that she hated most of the past year, and only learned to tolerate because they had to work together to save her best friend's life?
Yeah, that guy.
Bonnie's hands slowly crept around his shoulders, and Damon felt a familar spike in his chest when she wrapped her arms around him, and finally returned the embrace. His head sunk onto her shoulder, and she the felt his cold tears seep through her t-shirt.
He was a mess-he was everything she hated; everything she should hate- Damon Salvatore was the manifestation of everything that was wrong in Mystic Falls. But she couldn't hate him- she didn't have it in her heart to do that.
She let go of him gently, and he backed up as he looked into her eyes that seemed to glow beneath the moonlight. His own were a bit red from the tears, and undoubtedly glossy from the liquor.
What happened next surprised him.
Bonnie raised her soft hand to his cheek, and smoothed away the remnants of water from with her thumb. She placed the other hand onto his other cheek, and held his face tightly, as she looked deeply into his tragic eyes.
"None of us are perfect, Damon. We've all messed up, at some point or another. Who you are is not what you did," she said quietly, and he inhaled slowly at the words. "You're just lost, Damon; lost just like the rest of us."
He was lost- he always had been.
"I've lost my mind, Bonnie, just trying to find it. I will never be better than what I am now," he argued and Bonnie shook her head.
"That's where you're wrong, Damon. You're already better-you're so much better than what you were. It's not too late-it's never too late to start over," she stated. "I mean, you're kind of starting over with me," Bonnie said with a gentle smile and he breathed quietly at that.
Starting over- he desperately needed to start over, if he were going to be given the chance to.
Damon realized Bonnie's hands were still on his cheeks and he looked into her eyes-those pale green eyes that he hated most days, grew to tolerate the next, and now- well, now he was drowning in them.
When did Bonnie become so accepting of not only him, but what he had done to her? He was thankful for her forgiveness, but he just didn't understand it.
Maybe he didn't need to understand it; maybe all he needed to understand was the fact that Bonnie was brave, and Bonnie was strong-and maybe, one day, he could be strong too.
She slowly took her hands away, though she still stood abnormally close to him. Bonnie was only inches away, but it was comfortable-he didn't want her to be any further away than she was right now.
"You probably shouldn't drive after drinking an entire bottle of Jameson," she finally said, and he snapped out of his lazy thoughts. "I mean, you could compel your way out of ticket, but I'm not sure how good your skills are when you're drunk. I'll take you home," Bonnie said and he let out a short laugh as he crossed his arms.
"I can probably walk," he said as he moved towards the car door, but he tripped over his own feet, and Bonnie's eyebrows rose.
"Sure about that?" she quipped, and he pointed his index finger towards her as he squinted his eyes.
"Touche, Bennett."
Bonnie nodded and got into her side of the car she waited for Damon to pull his door in, and she turned on the engine, pulling away no more than thirty seconds later.
They arrived at the driveway of the Boarding House a few minutes later. Bonnie and Damon sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the faint sounds of the night as they echoed around them, and the gentle humming of her car.
He wanted to say something- he knew there was a lot to say to Bonnie after tonight, but between the alcohol, the guilt, and frustration he felt with himself, he didn't know where to begin.
So he settled for familiarity.
"You're not a completely terrible driver," Damon spoke up and Bonnie laughed as she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, fine, whatever. Just no touching my radio anymore," she said, and he smirked.
He smirked because he had the same exact pet peeve when people were in his car- he found it funny that he was also the biggest offender.
"Done deal, witchy," he said holding up his hands in defense, before opening his door. "Least I can do after that... pep talk you gave me back there," he skated, and she turned to look into his eyes that were that perfect shade of blue.
"Don't mention it," she said shortly, and Damon nodded silently as he set a foot out of the car.
Suddenly, he drew it back in and fully turned to face Bonnie, as the calm silence radiated between them.
His eyes were glaring into her sparkling ones, and Damon silently cursed himself when he realized just what he was about to do.
He impulsively leaned in, and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, letting his lips linger for a few seconds as he inhaled the scent of her skin, and Bonnie sighed gently. His lips felt like they burned against her skin-but in a good way- that way that made him wonder what it would have been like if he went straight for the lips, like he had intended to, a second ago.
Before he realized that this was still Bonnie, and he couldn't be kissing her.
Except he wanted to. He wanted to kiss her so badly for understanding him.
Damon tore his lips away quietly, and Bonnie stared at him curiously as he just sat there for a second, letting it all sink in. He finally reached for his door again, and opened it, hopping out of the car, and slamming it shut behind him.
Another day, another time.
"Goodnight, Judgey," he whispered, and she couldn't muster the words to reply as she sent him a simple wave, and watched him disappear off into the house.
He'd blame all of this on the alcohol tomorrow morning.
"It's alright, just wait and see,
Your string of lights is still bright to me,
Who you are is not where you've been;
You're still an innocent."
A/N: Hey all! So after watching the past two episodes, I got inspired to do this one shot between Bonnie and Damon, in the aftermath of the ghosts and all that went down, etc. For any of you who are "Just Tonight" readers, don't worry-the new chapter will be up tonight, I've just been struggling with it, so I sincerely apologize for making you all wait so long. Hopefully this one shot makes everyone feel better ;) I really am moved by this song I based the fic off of (for personal reasons), and if you haven't heard it yet, give it a try! It's very moving, and deff describes Damon perfectly. Anyway, I hope you all liked it! Review, Review, Review :)