He's not quite sure how it happened. One minute he sitting in the bar (Lima bars were notoriously bad for checking ID), treating himself to a congratulatory beer after finally getting the glee club to successfully nail a number for Grease, and the next thing he knew he was almost falling off a bar stool, giggling like a little girl at an impression Santana was doing of their old seventh grade teacher, Ms. Cartwright. He thinks it could have happened sometime between his single beer and Santana waltzing and declaring she needed to forget her week and that he was gonna do the same, so she wasn't such a loner. He's not sure at which shot number things started to get so fuzzy.
"I'm telling you kids, you're all going to turn into vegetables if you don't stop watching that gosh darn television nonsense!" Santana mimicked in a high, nasally voice.
Finn honestly thought he might pee himself.
"And don't say I didn't warn you!" he joins in with her, finishing the last part of the phrase that had long since been stuck in their minds, repeated many times throughout the seventh grade. He actually does fall off his stool now.
Santana attempts to help him up, grabbing him by the forearm, trying to drag him up, but only ending up falling over herself, landing on her ass, staring at him bewildered, like she's not sure how it happened. That only makes Finn start laughing again.
"Shut up, Jolly Green, I don't see you trying to help yourself off the floor," Santana quips as his laughter dies down again.
Finn looks around him again, now realizing they're both just sitting on the bar floor, and meets eyes with Santana and they both start howling this time. It's really not that funny, but it really is. Because what are the odds that his Thursday night would wind up with him, sitting on a gross, sticky bar floor, drunk off his ass, laughing like a hyena with Santana Lopez?
Finn grabs onto the stool closest to him and tries to right himself, ungracefully getting to his feet, and reaches out a hand to Santana to help her up as well. She just gives a high-five to his outstretched hand, unaware of him trying to help her, and pushes herself off the floor.
"I'm bored, let's blow this popsicle stand!" Santana suddenly declares, grabbing Finn by the wrist and dragging him out of the bar as he stumbles along behind her.
"Hey, I know!" she whips around quickly, causing to almost fall into her, but she somehow steadies his shoulders.
"What?" Finn asks dumbly.
"Let's go get ice cream! I love ice cream, you love ice cream, Jesus loves ice cream, everybody loves it! And DQ is, like, so close!"
Finn's eyes light up, and this time he's the one dragging Santana down the street, a cookie dough blizzard with his name on it. They try walking through the drive-thru, but the employees tell them they need to be in vehicle with four wheels. So they find an abandoned shopping cart in a nearby parking lot and try again, Finn pushing Santana in it. It still doesn't work.
"Yeah, well, I didn't want to go through your shitty drive-thru anyways!" Santana screams at the worker through the window, "Finn, turn this cart around! This place blows!"
"You'll be hearing from our lawyers," Finn adds, attempting to give his best threatening face at the worker, but kind of just ends up squinting at him, as he pushes Santana in the cart out of the drive-thru.
They end up at William McKinley, sitting on a bench outside of the school, and somewhere along the way they began singing old TV show themes. Santana's in the middle of doing a terrible rendition of Saved by the Bell, when Finn actually realizes which bench they're sitting on.
"Hey, San?"
She stops dead in her singing and turns and faces him at his defeated tone.
"What?"
Finn points down to the corner of the bench where a tiny F.H. + R.B. can be seen outlined with a heart.
"She said she always wanted us to do something like in a super cheesy 80s movie, so one day, when we were sitting here eating lunch I carved this in. She looked so happy. I just want her to be happy."
He looks up at Santana with this lost puppy look and she just really feels for him. She knows how much he loves Rachel, it's pretty clear to everyone, actually. And she knows Rachel loves Finn. And she knows that's why everything is so hard for them.
"You two are gonna end up together. And you're gonna get old together. Hell, you were already like an old married couple in high school. But, like, an old married couple that went at it like rabbits."
He just keeps staring at the little heart with his and Rachel's initials in it, but looks up at Santana again after a moment and says a quiet thanks.
"You're an awesome bestie," he adds with a dopey grin.
She snorts.
"Bestie?"
He just nods his head eagerly, like a little kid, and she replies, "Yeah, you're not such a bad one, either, stretch."
And then Finn vomits all over the sidewalk.
