"C'mon, girls! Onto the stage!"

Pacifica came out first, in a black dress with earrings.

Then Candy, in a flowing white dress.

Mabel next, in a cheerleader's uniform.

And then...

"Wendy! Let's see your Swiftie outfit!"

Wendy arrived in...a black, stealth garb, perfect for kicking some-

"HEY!" The Author said Catastrophe WASN'T gonna be in this fic!" Pacifica yelled.

"How does Grunkle Ford know?" asked Mabel.

"Not him! The AUTHOR!"

Paz pointed upward.

"Hey, you! You said-

(A/N: I never once said that! I said you wouldn't FIT in the suit!)

"Uh-huh, so you gave it to Wendy, cause SHE'S YOUR FAVORITE!"

"Whoa, whoa, wait! Wendy's your favorite?!" Mabel realized.

(A/N: ...Maybe...)

"But...I thought I was your favorite..." Candy moaned.

"Wait, is this why she's in EVERYONE of your fics, Author?" Paz asked.

(A/N: ...Again...Maybe...)

"...I appreciate the compliment, but can we just continue the tribute?" asked Wendy.

"Ok...whatever you say...Author's pet..."

"What was that?"

"Yeah! She's no Author's pet!" Candy said.

"Thank you!"

"What about that one where she dies?"

"Ye-wait, what?"

(A/N: Th-that doesn't count! I haven't updated that thing in months!)

"Uh-huh. And what about Feel the Light? How's that going for you?!" Paz shouted.

(A/N: Ok, DO NOT bring Feel the Light into this! That is SACRED PROPERTY!)

"Yeah, and your 'sacred property' only has one chapter out of a projected three!"

"Uh, girls...we really shouldn't be fighting with the higher power..." Mabel worried.

"And another thing! You never finish event fics on time! You always wait til the last minute! You're writing THIS ONE at the last minute!" Candy yelled.

(A/N: I-I-I get distracted easily!)

"GUYS! This was supposed to be a birthday card for the biggest female pop star in the world! Instead, it's a huge mess!" Wendy cut in.

"Author's pet! Author's pet!" Candy and Pacifica teased.

"Grr... THAT'S IT!"

Wendy pulled one of Mabel's pom poms from her cheerleader outfit and threw it at the others.

They were not amused.

You know in the cartoons and comics when the characters fight each other in a ball of smoke with arms and legs flailing out? TV Tropes calls it a "Big Ball of Violence."

That's pretty much what it degenerated into then. Until...

(A/N: EVERYBODY, STOOOPP!)

They thudded rear-first on the ground.

(A/N: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU FOUR! THIS IS COMPLETELY OOC FOR ALL OF YOU! YOU BETTER SETTLE DOWN, OR AURA HELP ME, I WILL BACKSPACE YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE!)

"Y-yes, Author." Everyone trembled.

(A/N: And another thing, PLEASE promise me you won't do this during Shawn's birthday, ok?)

"We promise," they grumbled.

(A/N: Thank you. Now, on my signal, say "Merry Swiftmas. Ok? One, two...)

MERRY SWIFTMAS!

"And happy...erm...Friendaversery to..." Wendy started. "Hey wait..."

"AUTHOR!"

(A/N: Fine! I'll Ceaserian it...)

KDSSB IULHQGDYHUVHUB UHZ. BRX'UH WKH EHVW.