First Anna fic! I am not too far into the book- chapter 14 I think- so please don't spoil it for me! Please feel free to review, this is set before Cas has come to Thunder Bay, just to clarify. I really hope you enjoy it- axtra nonymous xxx
All that I am
Anna's good at watching. She sometimes wonders if she watched things during life, she wonders if she were… observant, for lack of a better word. But Anna is dead and the memories of living are far beyond her grasp. She sometimes remembers small insignificant things that don't quench her thirst for remembrance or knowledge, things like roses and light, things she'll never know again.
Anna is also quiet. Being dead has a few advantages, she can move around her house barley making a sound, it is very affective for dramatic entrances, not that she cares- nobody lives long enough to admire her silence and stealth, there're dead within seconds.
Anna is scared. She's scared of what she has become. She doesn't see herself as even remotely human anymore, every time someone enters the house she loses control, she doesn't know why and she doesn't know how, her memory of life is flaky at best but she knows she wasn't evil during life-she was normal. Every night she asks herself the same questions. Why am I a monster? Why do I lose control? Why me?
Anna has changed. At first she was terrified at what she was becoming; now she embraces it. She feels more powerful, stronger and safer even though she loses control, this other form inside her; it's keeping her safe-isn't it? And the people should have seen the warnings. How many people has she killed over the years? Enough for all their faces and screams and words to blend together in Anna's mind, enough that should serve as a warning.
Anna is dressed in blood. She remembers what the dress originally looked like, white, pure, cleansing. Now it is tainted with blood, her own blood, the symbolisation of her death. She thinks the dress also stands for her tainted soul, the soul that has killed again and again and again. Anna wants to stop killing, murdering, watching the life dim out of her victims eyes. But Anna's sure of only one thing, she can't.
Anna is many things, but no-one's known her long enough to find them out.