Everything is dark. Somewhere a phone rings: brr-rr, brr-rr, brr-rr. A wintry sound.
The receiver is lifted from its cradle. 'Hello?'
'Ah, Hello! Our specialist assessors happen to be in your area conducting a survey for publicity purposes. Could I interest you in a free valuation for aluminum window frames and garage fittings?'
'It's '–wearily-'the middle of the night'
'Day or night, we're committed to bringing you value for money, efficiency, and a free slimeline calculator. Our expert will provide a valuation entierly without charge. There's no obligation to buy, and no employee of this company will call.'
'How will they provide a valuation of my windows if they don't call?'
A slience. 'They, er, could do it from across the street.'
'Goodnight.'
The phone is replaced in its cradle, and only the dark remains.
The phone rings a second time. The receiver is taken more hurriedly from its cradle.
'Yes? What? What is it?''
'Mr Everydayman?'
'Yes, yes who is this?'
'This is X?xxccuudduuhhfg24365464_ FREE! FREE! XXX, TRIPLE X, XXX, GUARANTEED SEX! SOME HOT HONEY'S HOPE THAT YOUR HARD!'
'I beg your pardon?'
'Would you like to increase your penis length to, a, ten inches, b, twenty inches, c, 30 inches, or d, NO LIMIT! NO LIMIT!'
'WHO ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WOULD WANT A LIMITLESSLY LONG PENIS?'
tell me who you think this will go? :) R&R my people!