Axel leaned his elbow on the table and inched it towards Roxas' so they would be touching. Roxas moved, as if on purpose, leaning his chin on his palm.
It was like a game.
Trying not to look directly at him, Axel lowered his arm and stretched it out so their elbows were once again reunited. He sat slowly reddening in the semi-silence, pretending to have done it by accident and to be oh-so involved in Xemnas' lecture. He caught Roxas glancing at him and determinedly stared ahead, frowning when Roxas folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them like a pillow. Axel sighed and shifted a little so they were even further apart, choosing instead to search for Roxas' ankles with his feet, casual as you please. Their knees brushed and a rush went through him as he tried to hold the position with fervor, Roxas once again glancing at him.
He wasn't even sure why he did it. Surely them touching couldn't possibly alert Roxas to Axel's feelings, and even if it did, he was clearly being rejected. Part of him imagined them sitting still, elbows touching, for a long time - until he moved away and Roxas stopped him, taking his face in his hands and...
Well, that was just imagination, of course.
Surreptitiously, he breathed out, as if Roxas would detect the movement and - god forbid - stand up, or walk away. He froze to the spot, blinking only slowly, his breath slight and quiet as possible. He turned to steal a glance...
He almost laughed at how it was the same.
Roxas leaned his back on the wall and inched it away from Axel so they couldn't touch. Axel moved, as if on purpose, leaning his head on the smaller boy's shoulder.
It was too much like a game.
Trying not to stare into his eyes like a retarded puppy, Roxas stood carefully and stretched, so their bodies no longer had contact. He stood slowly paling in the silence, pretending to have done it without regret and to be oh-so cold - oh-so involved in himself. He caught Axel staring after him, eyes filled with tears, and turned away, frowning when the taller boy was undeterred. Roxas sighed and shifted from foot to foot so they were oceans apart, choosing to walk away without a look back, casual as you please. Their hands brushed when Axel ran forward and a rush went through him as he tried to shake the feeling with fervor, Axel once again grasping his hand.
He wasn't even sure why he did it. Surely ignorance wasn't the answer - surely it couldn't possibly alert Axel to his situation - and even if it did, he was clearly going to regret it. Part of him imagined them whole and free, everything touching, for a long time...until he moved closer and Axel did nothing to stop him, joining them forever and ever...
Well, that was just imagination, of course.
He shrugged away the hand and breathed out, shaking his head, as if Axel would detect the feelings stirring inside that should never have been born, and - god forbid - understand. He pushed further, blinking quickly, his breath hitched and thick. He turned to steal a glance...
He almost laughed at how it was the same…