Title: Chill
Author: fbi-woman
Rating: K
Type: Castle, Caskett
Spoilers: Canon up to the end of Countdown.
Disclaimer: If it's from Castle, it's not mine. Though I wish it was so I could push certain doctors out of a plane.
Summary: Post-Countdown. What happens after Castle leaves and Kate goes home with Josh.
A/N: A little random Caskett one-shot for december21st.
Her thickest sweater, her warmest blanket, and her boyfriend's arms around her still weren't enough to banish the chill Kate felt. They were curled up in her bed, but she couldn't shut her mind off to go to sleep. She had turned up the thermostat but it didn't seem to be making much of a difference. Hot soup, hot coffee and a hot shower had helped at first, but once they were gone she was cold again. That wasn't the only thing bothering her though: there was something else nagging at the back of her mind.
"What's up?"
"Hm?" She wasn't expecting him to be awake.
"You're tense, what are you thinking about?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, Kate."
She sighed. "It's Castle."
He didn't seem surprised. "What about him?"
"I think he wanted to talk to me about something before he left. Maybe I should have gone after him."
"If it was important he would have told you, right?"
"I guess. I just feel bad. I mean, after everything that happened today, he doesn't even have anyone to go home to; he sent his mother and daughter to the Hamptons in case something went wrong, and I feel like I kind of ditched him."
"I'm sure he understands."
"I know. I feel like a crappy friend though. Maybe I should call him."
"It's pretty late, he's probably asleep."
"He's not."
He laughed softly. "How do you know?"
"I don't know, I just do."
"He's a grown man, Kate. He'll be fine, I promise. Just relax and try to get some sleep. You need to rest."
"I know."
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/
She tried to sleep, she really did, but she couldn't get settled. She laid still long enough for him to fall asleep, but then the tossing and turning started. Twice she woke him up with her restlessness, and twice she pretended to go back to sleep, but it was no use. Finally, at 2:37am, she gave up. Grabbing her phone, she crawled out of bed and tiptoed into the living room.
With the movement of the mattress, Josh rolled over and reached out to put an arm around her, only to find her side of the bed unoccupied. At first he thought nothing of it, assuming that she would be back momentarily, but then he heard her voice coming from the other room. He wasn't a heavy sleeper; surely he would have woken if her phone had gone off, right? His curiosity piqued, he opened the bedroom door a crack and listened from the doorway. He had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what was happening.
When Castle hadn't answered by the third ring, she contemplated hanging up. Maybe she was wrong and he was asleep after all. Just as she was about to disconnect the call, she heard his voice on the other end of the line.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"Do we have another case already?"
"No. I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"No, I can't sleep."
"Me either."
"Is everything okay?"
"That's what I was going to ask you."
"Oh. I'm fine, everything's fine over here."
"Oh… good."
"And you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay."
"Good."
An awkward silence descended for a moment as she tried to decide where she was going with this, and he anxiously waited for her to take the lead.
"Hey Castle, can I ask you something?"
"You can ask me anything."
"Are you still cold?"
He laughed softly. "Yeah a little. It's like the cold is almost gone, but the stubborn little core of it doesn't want to leave."
"I thought maybe it was just me."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah."
"Why did you call? I mean, I don't mind, but I don't think you called to ask if I was cold."
"I don't know, I just… I thought before you left tonight that you wanted to talk to me about something, and I didn't like the idea of you going home to an empty house after the day we had."
"I do wish someone was here, and I did want to talk to you, but it doesn't matter now. I wasn't thinking."
"What was it?"
"I don't think now is the right time to bring it up."
"Why?"
"It just isn't."
"Then when is the right time?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want me to come over?"
"What?" He was stunned by her sudden offer. Did she really say what he thought she said?
"Never mind."
"No, wait, I do, it's just… isn't Josh there?"
"Yeah."
"Is he going to be okay with you coming over here in the middle of the night?"
"He'll understand."
"I don't want to cause any problems… I mean, if you were my girlfriend, I wouldn't try to stop you from going, but I wouldn't exactly have a good feeling about it."
"It's not your job to worry about me and Josh. Do you want me to come or not?"
"Hypothetically?"
She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see her. "Fine, hypothetically."
"Hypothetically, yes."
"Then I'll come."
"Are you sure? You don't have to if you don't want to."
"Castle, just shut up. I'll be there in 15."
"Okay... thanks."
At the risk of waking Josh, she decided not to change, but as soon as she grabbed her coat and keys, he entered the room.
"Where are you going?"
She could tell he already knew the answer. "I'm going to see Castle."
"In the middle of the night?"
"Yeah… I'll be back in a bit."
"I don't think you will."
Honestly, she didn't think so either but she didn't know what else to say.
"Are you leaving, Kate?"
She understood the implication of the question. "Are you giving me an ultimatum?"
"Are you staying, or leaving?"
"If that's how it has to be, then yeah, I'm leaving."
"That's what I thought."
She hated to see the look of hurt and disappointment on his face, knowing that she put it there. He gave up a great opportunity for her, and this was the thanks she gave him. She wanted to give them another chance but if he was going to make her choose, she would choose Castle every time.
"I'm sorry." She hoped he believed her, because she truly was.
He nodded sadly. "I know."
She waited for him to get dressed and gather his things. After he grabbed his coat, he hugged her and whispered a goodbye in her ear. Watching from the window, she made sure he drove away before she locked up and headed downstairs herself. She wondered if it was weird that she wasn't crying. Maybe, on some level, she had always known it would end like this. A little voice in the back of her mind suggested that it might be because she was on her way to see Castle, but she quickly shushed it.
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/
Relief washed over him when he opened the door. "I was starting to think you weren't coming."
"I'm sorry, I know it took me longer than I said. I just got tied up with something."
"Everything okay?"
"It will be."
He wasn't convinced but decided to let it go. He lead her to the fireplace, where he had set up a makeshift bed of pillows, blankets and sleeping bags on the floor in front of it.
He smiled sheepishly when she raised an eyebrow at him. "The furniture was too far away, it was warmer like this."
"You could have moved the furniture, you know."
"Yeah, I realized that afterwards but I didn't feel like picking everything back up. Now come on," he said, nestling back into his comfy spot, "come over here and get warm. I promise I'll behave."
She conceded, laying down beside him and, much to his surprise, snuggling up to his side. Timidly he wrapped an arm around her, holding her much like he did in the freezer. When she didn't react, he risked pushing it a step further and ran his other hand through her hair. She looked up at him, backlit by the fire with vulnerability in her eyes, and it was so beautiful it made his heart ache.
"When I woke up and you weren't there, I was terrified that I lost you", he confessed quietly. "I can't lose you, Kate. I need you."
"I'm scared of how much I need you", she whispered after a minute.
"If I ask you something, can you promise not to get mad and leave?"
"I can't promise I won't get mad, but I won't leave."
"Why are you with him?"
She could swear her heart skipped a beat. "What?"
"Josh. Why are you with him?"
"I… I'm not… anymore."
"You're not?"
"No. That's what took me so long."
"It's my fault, isn't it?"
"No. Well, yes, but no."
"Okay now I'm confused."
"Basically, it came down to him or you."
"And you picked me?"
She nodded shyly.
His face lit up, and though he tried to hide the excitement in his voice, he didn't conceal it well. "So… what does that mean?"
"I don't know."
"Give me a chance, Kate."
"I want to, but I don't want to risk what we have."
"We could be risking it either way, because I don't know about you, but it's getting hard for me to see you and be around you when I can't be with you."
A sliver of fear edged its way through the walls. "Promise you won't leave?"
"Only if you promise not to give up when it gets hard."
"Okay."
He smiled brightly. "So we have a deal?"
"We have a deal."
"Kiss on it?"
"I think we should."
"Good", he whispered, lowering his lips to hers, "because I was going to anyways."
She smiled into the kiss and felt the deep chill slowly begin to dissipate. The last 24 hours had truly been, as he would say, extraordinary.