Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy
I never meant to have these thoughts and feelings for him. It just happened. I never imagined I would actually fall in love with someone like him. Married. My god, he's married! I feel the heartache and pain seeing him. Each night I go home alone and crawl into bed laying next to nothing. I can actually visual Derek and Addison in bed with their arms around each other. And all I want to do is hide under a table and reminisce the feel of his arms around me. I am truly, madly in love with him.
I should have stopped this as soon as I found out who he was, the new attending physician. My boss! What the hell did I get myself into? I'm the talk of Seattle Grace. I feel their eyes on me. They feel sorry for me. I can read their faces, but then, they can read my heart. The trouble with love is, it can tear you up inside.
"Don't you know? Don't you know how much I hate myself for loving you? Don't you know it hurts not to be able to hold you in my arms and kiss you and tell you how much I love you? Don't you know?"
I am not, I repeat, I am not the type of person who would take another woman's husband away from her. But, then of course, I have never fallen in love with another woman's husband, until now.
"Don't you know that I am loving you more each day?"
Call me anytime, day or night, if you need me, if you need to talk, I'd like to tell him. What I really mean to say is "I miss you and I'm in love with you."
I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I'd give up eternity to spend a lifetime with him. Damn you, Dr. Derek Shepherd! I NEED YOU! I WANT YOU! I LOVE YOU!
"Don't you know? Don't you know that by now?"
One day he'll be back. "I know. I know. I love you, too." He'll say. Well, maybe someday, in time. And I'll wait patiently.
The End