DISCLAIMER: As usual, I don't own any of the characters from FMA. But I do own Rory Mustang, Roy's illustrious niece of fourteen years and three days. A.k.a. – Pretty With a Shockwave.

Author's Notes: Okay, I've been in the Initial D groove for days and days so to get back into the FMA fold, I'm revamping my The Niece series, basically so it reads easier with Snow White and The Eight Dwarves. I've made some changes to Rory Fox Mustang, so now she's a bit less of a Sue…although she still is one simply because she's related to Roy. DAMNIT!!

Summary: Roy's been keeping a secret…a pretty girl of a VERY young age is seen with him. When the boys go over to investigate, they find out their original suspicions aren't at all what's true.

The Niece: Pretty With A Shockwave
By N.C. Stormeye

Colonel Roy Mustang left the office early, as he'd been doing for the past week or so. And for the past week or saw, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye had not made a peep about it, not minding the Colonel's constant absences. She didn't say a word when he inexplicably left in the middle of the day, to come back late in the afternoon. She didn't comment on his distracted air. In fact, she was being uncharacteristically tolerant of what could be seen as slacker behavior.

Lieutenant Hawkeye was known for her deep annoyance towards any and all behavior that interrupted the chain of command and destroyed the work ethic. There were bullet holes in the wall to prove it. Her nonchalance at Mustang's preoccupied behavior as of late was unnerving, especially since she wasn't giving the same leeway to the other officers. She treated Mustang with what appeared to be icy politeness, though in truth it was actually courteous detachment that masked concern.

Unfortunately, the other members of Mustang's outfit were not as perceptive as Hawkeye was. In fact, they speculated that Mustang must have really fouled up for Hawkeye to be treating him as if she didn't care about him anymore. They took those little attentions, those reminders, to be Hawkeye's version of care, and the absence of such towards their superior was taken as a sign that Mustang had really done it this time.

So it was no surprise that the admittedly nosy military men decided to question Hawkeye, whom they believed to be in a semi-livid state behind that Ice Queen demeanor. They believed she, like any other woman, would open up about her irritation when given the opportunity. So they decided to give her the opportunity, as any caring colleague would. Whether or not they earned blackmail information was irrelevant.

It was that afternoon that Havoc decided to run the Ice Queen's gauntlet. He asked a seemingly innocent question, "Lieutenant Hawkeye, why's the Colonel leaving early again?" An expression of what appeared to be disgust mixed with resignation (actually it was annoyance at Havoc's nosy-ness mixed with concern) crossed the Lieutenant's face.

"The Colonel has some personal issues to attend to." She replied curtly. The term personal issues was intriguing. It was a date, at least in the minds of the officers, that Hawkeye was referring to. So, with what they thought was a confirmation of another infamous Mustang liason, they decided to see what little pretty one had been preoccupying the Colonel's mind all week, as well as made Hawkeye…jealous?

That could be the only explanation for her irritated behavior. Hawkeye was jealous. And in the minds of the officers, it was no surprise. To them, it seemed that the relationship between Colonel and Lieutenant was a bit more than just colleagues. They were right, in a way, considering that Hawkeye was Mustang's most trusted confidante next to Hughes, but not in the way they assumed. And of course, they also assumed that any romantic feelings between the two were to be one-sided, particularly from Hawkeye's side. After all, the Colonel was too much of a playboy to settle down with one good woman.

Because of this troubling development, an interruption in the routine of Mustang's outfit, they decided it was their duty engage in a reconnaissance mission, to uncover the reason for the madness, and to try to remedy the situation. It was, in their opinions, a noble task. Who was so novel that she had entranced the Colonel into putting everything else aside, and had irritated Hawkeye to the point of what appeared to be hatred? The identity of this femme fatale was an intriguing mystery, just right for a bunch of nosy officers whose love lives were eclipsed by the playboy who led them all.

Havoc led the party with vindictive mischief. Falman was the one most opposed to the idea, but dragged along anyway. Fuery was the innocent they swore to lie to and protect as much as possible. Breda was just as curious as Havoc, but not as vindictive. Slowly, they decided to monitor the Colonel's behavior and track his whereabouts for investigative purposes. In other words, they'd stalk him until they came up with the goods.

On that note, they decided to resume the activities that had been dispensed with after the incident of Warehouse 13 in which Havoc was so horribly broken-hearted he was mute for a week. His dramatic sadness knew no bounds. Taking up the little-used logbooks, they noted the discrepancies in their superior's behavior, as well as that of his second-in-command. They were caught doing so a couple of times, but it did not discourage them from continuing. After all, it was their duty as men of the military to get to the bottom of this.

At least that's what they told themselves.

It was day four of week two of the "reconnaissance mission" when they decided that they'd gathered enough background information, and decided to put their phase two, the actual 'stalking', into action.

(Author's Suggestion: Please put the Pink Panther theme song on loop from this point until I give you the signal to stop.)

"Day One of Phase Two: The Colonel was observed perusing the women's clothing stores. He went in, and came out with a pack of hair ribbons as well as two shopping bags full of unknown feminine attire. He was observed tripping, regaining his balance, and cursing under his breath distractedly."

"Day Two of Phase Two: A suspicious package was delivered to the office. Mustang took one look at it, and a small blush was seen on his cheeks. He prodded the package for a moment and let out a sigh. Feminine handwriting was seen on the top of the package. It was observed that all the Is in the word "Military" were dotted with hearts. Mustang left the office earlier than usual."

"Day Three of Phase Two: Lieutenant Hawkeye was seen arguing with the Colonel. From the distance at which this was viewed, nothing could be discerned from their conversation. Hawkeye left looking seemingly annoyed. Mustang looked browbeaten."

"Day Four of Phase Two: Mustang was seen spending lunch hour at a café frequented by the young women of East, apparently waiting for someone. He ordered a slice of cake, and promptly stared at it but did not eat it. Had to discontinue mission as dog peed on pant leg and had to go change."

"Day Five of Phase Two: Mustang was seen picking up someone in a car. That someone was definitely female, but nothing more could be discerned of her appearance. This was approximately lunch hour. Mustang returned to the office late that afternoon, having spent an extra hour after lunch break, out."

"So basically he's either been buying stuff or meeting a chick in and out of break time? Damnit!" Havoc said as he threw his notes in the air. The other officers, bent over their logs, nodded. They compared notes once again, debating on what color of ribbon Mustang had purchased, or whether or not he'd been spotted near the local flower shop.

The volatile nature of their target had them doing all these 'meetings' in a clandestine manner. Well, as clandestine as you could be in a military cafeteria. They were hunched over, staring suspiciously at anyone and everyone who could reveal their activities to their commanding officer and his scary lieutenant. Needless to say, they looked quite stupid.

"It's obvious he's charmed. In the history of the Colonel's dates, he's never spent a full two weeks totally obsessed with one." Breda commented. Fuery nodded.

"If the Colonel or Lieutenant Hawkeye finds out, this mission will have to be terminated." Falman commented. The other three officers stared and nodded.

"The longer we keep this up, the more chance we have of being discovered." Fuery said timidly.

"Which is why we end it all. Tonight." With a dramatic pause, all four nodded in sync. The meeting was adjourned.

(Author's Suggestion: Now, please put on loop the Mission Impossible theme song.)

The four officers synchronized watches as they crept up to the restaurant they'd followed the Colonel to. It was fortunate that he'd taken an outside table. From their respective positions, they had full view of what could go on. Havoc had taken a small corner inside the café, from which he could see Mustang's table. Breda was on a bench nearby, disguised as an old man reading a newspaper. Fuery and Falman were across the street with binoculars, wondering why they were doing this in the first place.

That and why in the world were they using cheap toy-like walkie-talkies when they could have "borrowed" some from the military supply. But that would be risking too much. And besides, these things worked fine. It looked cheesy, but worked fine.

They'd been spying for about thirty minutes when Fuery first saw the girl walking towards the café.

The girl was petite, with a bouncy black ponytail that was tied with the bow they'd seen the Colonel buying a few days before. She was wearing what appeared to be a uniform of some sort, but instead of sensible shoes she'd worn heels. Fuery alerted Breda on this development, and Breda confirmed that the girl was indeed wearing lipgloss, and was as young as she appeared.

"You don't think that could be…" Breda quickly relayed this message to Havoc, who stared goggle eyed at the window, awaiting the appearance of the girl.

"No…impossible…she looks like a teenager." Falman's voice crackled through the receiver.

"I see her! I see her!" Havoc practically squeaked. All four pairs of eyes were trained towards the Colonel's table. Without a doubt, that was the girl. They watched as she sat down and crossed her legs demurely, before leaning over in what appeared to be a flirtatious move (actually it was because she was tired) and kissing Mustang's cheek (she was whispering something in his ear).

The group almost screamed like little girls. Mustang was going out with a kid! This was vile! This was horrid! It was a perversion of the natural order! Most of all, it was the most disturbing thing they'd ever seen! They watched as the girl giggled and appeared to flirt (actually she was just animatedly telling a story), and Mustang nod approvingly and murmur sweet nothings (actually he was lecturing softly).

They'd seen too much. The four officers, all scarred for life, regrouped and returned to their respective homes, each mind brimming with the awful truth. Mustang was a pedophile.

(Author's Suggestion: You can stop all the music now.)

Colonel Roy Mustang was used to receiving dirty looks from his men…and woman, especially after he'd taunted them a bit…his men, not his Lieutenant. He was sure if he ever tried to taunt his Lieutenant he would be signing his own death warrant. Regardless, he was used to getting dirty looks from his subordinates…but not all at once.

His reception upon arrival was frosty, save for his second-in-command who greeted him cordially as she always did. Upon her greeting him, four pairs of shocked and suspicious eyes turned to Hawkeye. Mustang wondered what in the world had gotten into his men.

This strange and icy treatment continued throughout the day, his men seemingly disgusted by him, or at least horrified. It was as if he'd up and sprouted a deformed conjoined twin overnight. The treatment went on hour after hour after hour, going way past lunch, even when he hadn't bothered to go out that day, plowing glumly through the paperwork that had accumulated over the weeks.

Finally, in the midst of overtime work, he'd had enough. "That's it," he said irritably, "What the hell is going on with all of you?"

"Sir?" Hawkeye looked up, puzzled.

"Not you, Lieutenant, them." Mustang jerked his finger irritably at the four other subordinates. Hawkeye rolled her eyes and got back to work.

"So?" Mustang demanded. The other four continued to glare at him with shock and horror. "What has gotten into you!" he groaned.

"What has gotten into you?" Havoc parroted back out in a hiss. Mustang was taken aback.

"What in the world is eating you?" he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Eating us? We know all about your dirty little secret and we have to keep it! That's what's eating us!" Fuery's voice was trembling when he said so. The statement made both Mustang and Hawkeye bolt up and stare.

"Dirty little secret?" they both said in unison. The four officers nodded. The uncomfortable silence was interrupted by a rap on the door and a young feminine voice calling. It was ignored.

"You're dating a teenager!" Havoc roared. Mustang's eyes widened in horror, and his fingers poised to fry Havoc back to his senses.

"ARE YOU ON CRACK?" Mustang asked. "Did someone switch your cigarettes with weed? What in hell are you talking about Havoc?"

"We saw you! You were dating a teenager all this time! And we have proof!" Breda said, waving the logbooks in his face. Mustang grabbed the logbooks, flipped through them, and turned them into ash.

"All this proves is that you've been stalking me." He sighed irritably. The rapping on the door became slightly louder, the female voice rising in pitch. Finally, Hawkeye had enough. She opened the door and let the girl from that night in.

"See! See! There she is! That's the girl we saw!" Fuery said. The girl in question turned to him, and in an instant all four officers saw double. The girl, with her messy black hair and angular face, bore resemblance to Mustang himself. The only difference were her narrow gray eyes, now wide in puzzlement.

"Huh?" she said, before turning to the Colonel whose face was in the middle of bemused and irritated. Hawkeye spoke for both.

"This girl, if she is indeed who you saw, is the Colonel's niece. She's been entrusted to him after her parent's death." Hawkeye sighed. Rory raised an eyebrow and stared at them. They stared back.

"But...but we saw you argue, and you've been cold towards the Colonel for days!" Breda protested. Hawkeye rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't arguing with the Colonel, we were discussing his niece's enrollment. And I'm not cold, I just thought it best not to pressure him as much, seeing as he's got a lot to handle now."

"How about the package that made him leave early?"

"Rory's schoolbooks."

"And is that why he's been punching out..."

"Yes, she's why I've been leaving early." Mustang rolled his eyes. Rory did the same.

"Are you all talking about me? Because I heard you. No, I'm not dating my uncle, got it?" She punctuated her sentence with a snap, an eerie motion that mirrored her uncle.

"Oh crap," All four officers said, "Sorry."

"You're forgiven," Mustang began, and the officers sighed in relief, "now discussing the consequences of this…"

"I can't believe it." Havoc said as he pushed a mop around the office. Breda and Fuery glared at him, feather dusters in hand.

"It's all your fault! You're the one who started this!" Breda said. Havoc glared.

"Who was the one who wanted to know!?"

"You! You asked first!"

"Shut up and clean!" Mustang said from his desk, completing the paperwork he'd let pile up.

An argument ensued from within. Outside, Hawkeye and the younger Mustang walked away. Rory piped up.

"Uhm, is it always like that?" she asked Hawkeye before leaving. Hawkeye shook her head.

"Plus your uncle, it's usually much worse."

FINNI

A/N: Finally…now I have to go to voice class. Yes! I've revised the story! Now it's more plot-driven and entertaining! At least I think so…