Run With Me through Rows of Speeding Cars
So, I wrote this a while ago, but decided to hold on posting it, until today, valentines.
Happy Valentines Day, everyone.
Seattle; the emerald city. And where Summer Roberts had called home for the past 2 years.
Well she wouldn't exactly call it 'home' but it was where she lived, her home was somewhere else, and she was yet to find that place. She sighed, and sat down at her desk, leafing through documents.
2 years prior, she'd moved all the way from Newport, California to Seattle, Washington, and if she was honest, it was the worst thing she could've done. She'd thought it was the right thing, leaving her friends and boyfriend at the time. She thought she needed to break free of the artificialness of Newport, and try her new life in Seattle.
Well, it wasn't all for that. Her dad had been diagnosed with cancer, so she'd left Newport – for, at the time, people thought, six months – to come help her dad through the chemo-therapy, and remission. But he had miraculously covered just 8 months later, and Summer had failed to return back to Newport, claiming that her father's health scare had given her a wake up call, and that she needed to spend more time with him.
Everyone, back in California, seemed crushed, that Summer would not be returning, and that included Seth. She'd never forget the sound of his voice when she told him, he sounded so choked, and Seth was never choked for words. He suggested he could put off college, like he'd done for another semester for her anyway, and go move up there with her, also claiming him and Dr. Roberts needed to spend some more quality time together, too.
But Summer couldn't let him do that for her, he'd already given her so much of her life. So, she did what he had done just a year before, and broke up with him, letting him free. And they were both heartbroken, and had no contact with each other. She was starting to know how Seth had felt when he had decided her going to Brown was more important than staying with him.
So Summer had stayed up in Seattle, moving back in with her dad, while he told her, all the time, to move back down to Cali, and be with her boyfriend, friends and her childhood town. But Summer still refused, saying that she needed a fresh break, and Seattle was the place to do that. She'd found a job in a restaurant, 'The Harvest', and had managed – with no qualifications, or any previous experiences under her belt – to move up from waitress, to manager. All in just 2 short years, and she was pretty proud of herself for it. At now 21, she already had a successful job.
"Summer," Chelsea's voice took Summer's train of thought from the past 2 years, to the young woman in front of her, "Are you ok?" She asked, with concern as she entered the office.
"Oh, um, yeah, I'm good, just going through the latest figures," Summer said, gesturing to the masses of paperwork in front of her.
"Well, tonight, I was thinking you could take a night off from all this," she too gestured to the amount of paperwork "And come out, with me and my boyfriend." She announced.
"Oh, no, um, I don't want to impose like that," She smiled sweetly at her, even if she was successful working in this restaurant, it had really become her life. The last time she could remember going out and actually having fun, had been back when she was just 18, and her best friend was still alive, and it'd been just the fantastic four.
Her smile saddened a bit at the thought of the 'fantastic four', it was Cohen's idea. And her thoughts now went to him, how he was doing, what he was doing, who he was doing it with. All things that she'd thought of before – it was nothing unusual.
"Oh, don't worry, honey, my boyfriend will totally understand, I'm starting to think that he thinks 'the harvest' is a fictional place, ya know." She said, she leaned near Summer, "Because everyone is old here, and doesn't know how to party, so they never get invited out." She whispered to her with a cheeky smile.
Chelsea had to have been about 19, or maybe 20, and she was full of her life. Her eyes were deep pools of blue, which twinkled every time she smiled. Her long blonde hair was straight, and went right down to her lower back, and she always had it a different style, whether it up or down, it was different to the week prior.
She was so full of life, and Summer would've given anything to have been anything like her, it seemed she was doing the college thing – considering she only did part time – and Summer would've loved to have gone back, and actually graduated.
"Well, I don't know, I mean I have all this work to do here, and-,"
"No ands! You're coming out with us, and don't worry, you won't be imposing," Chelsea smiled sweetly at the woman that was just a year or two older and an inch or 2 shorter, than her.
Summer let out an over-dramatic sigh, but smiled all the same, "Ok, when?"
"Tonight, meet me in the staff room at 8pm, he's meeting us there," Chelsea smiled, and as she did, her whole face lit up, and her eyes sparkled as they always did. Summer smiled back, although she was sure she was not giving off the same vibe from her facial expressions.
"Ok, and until then, I have all this work to do," She said, with a glance to the papers.
"Oh, good luck with that, sweetie, I have to go wait tables." She said, with an eye roll. "Anyway, have fun, if you can." She smiled and left Summer on her own.
Summer changed from her suit – that she had to wear as apart of being manager – and into the clothes she'd worn, upon entering work, but luckily it was a pretty casual outfit. It was a normal pair of jeans, with a pink layered shirt, black high heels, and a white coat to go with it all. She pulled her hair out of the pony tail it had been in all day, shaking her hair so that it was wavy and framing her face, she added more eyeliner and lip gloss.
As she finished, Chelsea entered, wearing jeans and a long pale grey jumper dress, she wore red, vintage high heels, and her hair was down and straight, yet done in a different way, it was amazing how many different hair styles one girl could come up with. Summer looked at her outfit, and suddenly felt very frumpy standing next to a girl that looked like a super model. She looked flawless.
"Ready?" Chelsea asked, as she entered and saw Summer dressed. Summer nodded and walked out after Chelsea.
Chelsea pulled out of the restaurant, staff parking lot and made her way down the roads of Seattle towards the bar they were going to.
"So…" Summer trailed off, wondering what to say "Where are we going?"
"Umm, Ruby, it's a bar,"
"Oh, right, cool, I guess."
"I have no idea why my boyfriend makes me go to these bars and stuff, I mean he's 21, he can drink, but I'm 20 and I can't yet," Chelsea pouted, and Summer couldn't help but smile at her. They may not have been best friends, but she was definitely a funny girl.
"So how'd you meet your boyfriend?" Summer asked, making conversation.
"Well, he's in his last year of college, and I'm finishing in 2 years, we're sort of in the same circles and we just met and sorta clicked." Chelsea shrugged, with a light pink tint colouring her face. Summer smiled at her and looked at the busy rush hour of a Friday in front of her.
"So, what's his name?"
"Who, my boyfriend's?" She asked, even though it was pretty obvious, looks like the blondeness wasn't just her hair colour. Summer nodded.
"His name is-," All of a sudden the car came to a screeching halt, and Summer grabbed the door, and Chelsea suddenly said "We're here," she smiled and unplugged her seat belt, exiting the car. Summer breathed out as she recovered from Chelsea's sudden stop.
She quickly repeated Chelsea's actions and ran to catch her up.
They entered the club, and Summer looked around herself in awe, everyone in there was having fun, grinding against a partner, laughing with friends. It was a scene Summer hadn't seen in a while.
She stood just looking around herself, dazed, until she felt a tug on her left arm and felt Chelsea's eyes on her, she'd obviously found her boyfriend and was dragging Summer towards him with her. Summer was looking around the bar still, when something caught her eye; a guy sat at the main bar area, looking around, as if waiting for someone, with his arms leaned on the bar and his body turned outwards, so anyone could see him. A guy that had a similarity to her ex-boyfriend. A guy that looked like Seth. A guy that was Seth Cohen.
She breathed out, after 2 years of preparing to ever see him again; this is not how she imagined. She just wanted to meet Chelsea's boyfriend and spy on Cohen from the corner of the room. But to her shock, she noticed she was being dragged in the direction of Seth. How did Chelsea know they'd dated, and was dragging Summer over there. But then it hit her, like a great big train, Seth was Chelsea's boyfriend. She saw the smile appear on Chelsea's face as she approached him, and the pure shock come across Seth's as he realised that his ex-girlfriend was on his new girlfriends arm. He closed his eyes, counted to ten, and opened them again, seeing them closer.
Summer had told him – no, wait, promised – that she would be back in 6 months, when she'd been at the airport, yet 7 months on and she still wasn't back. Seth had been going crazy, thinking the plane had crashed, that she'd gone missing, everything that could've possibly happened he thought had happened to her, until 7 and a half months after she'd left, she had told him she wasn't coming home.
Seth had been heartbroken, and instead of people hearing all different rants about what could've happened to Summer, they heard nothing from Seth what-so-ever.
Until of course, Seth had told everyone he was moving to Seattle, to find Summer. He'd packed up his whole life, and left all his remaining friends, and left, to move to Seattle.
But, it turns out, there was a lot of people in Seattle under the name of Roberts, when he'd found their address and telephone number in the phone book, he thought he'd hit jackpot, that was until he found out they'd moved, and the new owners didn't know where they'd gone.
He'd tried tracing them through Dr. Roberts' work, but they were not allowed to give out doctors details, and they too still had the old address, after Neil had been diagnosed he had to quit his job and get treatment – ironically – at another hospital.
After a few months of trying, Seth had decided it was a lost cause, with regular phone calls home to make sure Summer hadn't phoned any of them up, and to make sure she hadn't returned.
And then Seth decided that it really was a lost cause, and that if Summer wanted to be in contact with him, or see him, he'd have heard from her by now.
So he'd started a new life, rented an apartment – with the help of his parents – and applied to a nearby college. He didn't know what made his stay in Seattle, maybe he liked the city, maybe the people were nicer, or maybe, it was 'cause he knew – for a fact, - that she was in the same city.
And after a while, he'd finally decided that fate wasn't going to lead him in the direction of Summer, so he'd gone back onto the market, and – almost immediately – found Chelsea. She was a smart, yet fun girl; she represented everything Summer wasn't, and was just what Seth needed.
They'd decided, from the start, that because they were still in college, to have just a fun, simple relationship.
And he'd almost forgot all about why he'd come up to Seattle in the first place. Almost. Every so often, he'd see a girl with mahogany waves and he had to look twice, just to make sure. But every time, it wasn't and he cursed himself for thinking it was her.
And so now – 1 and a half years later from originally moving – he really had given up hope on finding Summer. And just as he had, she just happened to be friends with his girlfriend.
"Hey, Seth," Chelsea said, as she became in hearing range of Seth, totally oblivious to the nervous looks coming from both Seth and Summer.
"Hi. Chels," Seth greeted, with nervousness laced into his voice, he quickly placed a kiss onto Chelsea's cheek, and then looked at Summer, he took a big gulp "Who's your friend?" He immediately saw the look that came across Summer's face; confusion, anger, and sadness.
"Oh, right, Summer this is Seth, my boyfriend. Seth this is Summer, a colleague from work," Chelsea's eyes had the familiar twinkle in them, as she introduced the two for – or what she thought – the first time.
"Hi, Summer," Seth stuck out his hand, offering her a shake, still playing up to the act of not knowing her.
"Hey," Summer said as she took Seth's hand and shook. At the contact of the other, their eyes went from their shaking hands to their matching coffee coloured eyes.
That was when Summer felt the best in her entire life, when she stared into Seth's eyes, she almost felt as if she was high, because nothing else in the room mattered, and she couldn't feel anything in the rest of her body.
Seth immediately switched eye contact to Chelsea, as she crawled under his arm, placing it around her waist. To Summer, they fitted perfectly, and she wasn't sure how long she could stand it.
She gulped the huge, dry lump in her throat. She knew why he was being like this, she'd heard, from the people in Newport, everything about his expedition to Seattle. In all truth, breaking up with him was hard. She felt like she'd become a burden, with the Marissa thing and then saying 'No' to his proposal. She felt that their relationship had run its course.
She hated to be that neurotic kind of girl. But with everything she had put him through for that last year they were together – she felt he didn't need her anymore. She wanted to stay with him, more than anything, he held all the memories from her deceased best friend, he was her new best friend, yet she didn't want to hold onto him, in the fear of hurting him. So it was a lose, lose situation.
Chelsea looked weirdly from her friend, to her boyfriend, wondering why the two people she knew who talked the most were suddenly very quiet. She frowned, "I'm going to get drinks, anyone want anything?" She asked them both, hoping to stir some conversation.
Seth picked his Vodka and Orange Juice up, "I'm fine."
"I don't want anything."
Chelsea nodded and left for the other side of the bar, leaving Summer and Seth in a more-than-awkward silence.
"So, uh, how are you?" Summer asked, more concentrated on the bright neon lights reading 'Ruby' behind Seth's head, then on his fixing glare crawling over her skin.
"Yeah, I'm just peachy." Seth said. Sarcasm etched into his voice as he kept his glare.
"Oh." Summer said. if things weren't awkward before, they definitely were now.
They stood there, for a good 5 minutes, while they surveyed the changes in their former partners, but every time they caught the other glance, they looked away, blushing.
It was almost a relief when Chelsea had come back; she had immediately started talking to Summer about one of the old woman in the restaurant that day, complaining to Seth about how mean she'd been. And for a while, Seth and Summer seemed to forget the awkwardness around them, not actually engaging in conversation, but nothing to make Chelsea think that they had met before.
When Seth finally reached his apartment, he sighed, in relief, never, not once, in his entire life, did he ever not want to be in the same room as the, Summer Roberts. Yet, that night, he'd have given anything to have been anywhere but there.
The conversation had stayed the same all night, stuttering – from both parties –, awkward glances, from the bottom of their glasses, as they drunk from their drinks, using it as an excuse to survey the other's body. It was like high school all over again. But this time, it was worse.
There was no definite that they would see each other again, they wouldn't go to school the next morning and make other longing glances and more than friendly conversation, they wouldn't come face to face at another Newport party, dressed up in their glad rags. They never knew if they'd see each other ever again. Of course, they still had Chelsea as a link to each other, but Chelsea had obviously noticed the tension, when they had met – for what she thought was the first time – could've been cut with a knife.
So it was most likely that the pair wouldn't be invited out together anytime soon.
It was weird, Seth thought, he'd spent almost a year and a half searching for his – then claimed to be – soul mate, looking in all bars, hoping she'd tried to find work there, and yet, the minute he'd seen her, he'd pretended he'd never even known her.
He guessed that after having spent the majority of his childhood lusting over her, to then spending the last of his teen years worrying about her, and where she was, had made him just the tiniest bit bitter towards her. Not in the he hated her sense, just the fact that she could dump him and forget all about him. Just like that. No regrets, no moping. Just over and done with oh-so-quick.
So, he'd automatically, tried to hurt her just as she had hurt him, it was human reflexes, just as it was to move out of the way of danger to refrain from getting hurt, or being scared of death, was. He just wanted to make her feel the way he had, after trekking up to Seattle, and coming up blank, with nothing to show for the whole of his 21 years of his life. And maybe, he felt, that letting her back in, so easy, would just result in the same hurt.
But who was he kidding, she'd dropped him soon enough for Seattle, why would she want him now? So he should just stay with Chelsea and let their relationship turn into something serious, and them ending up in one of them marriages, the type were they loved to be together, but didn't love each other.
Seth shook his head, hoping to shake the thoughts with it, although that didn't happen. He walked into his kitchen and pulled a Budweiser out of the refrigerator, even after the 4 Vodka and OJ's at the bar – and numerous bathroom breaks – he was still sober. And Seth knew himself, he was a lightweight, and them 4 Vodka's would've gone straight to head, making him, automatically, feel light headed.
He leaned his head back onto the couch he'd flopped onto, beer in hand, there were sometimes Seth was glad he had his own place, you know, he could have parties that lasted 'til 6am the next morning – not that he ever did – he could have anyone round whenever he felt like it. Sometimes, it was just awesome. But other times, he found himself nearly going insane, from the quietness around the house – usually when Chelsea had class or work – and just needed to phone someone, just so he wasn't alone with his own thoughts for too long.
Knock. Knock.
And this just happened to be one of those times when he wanted to be alone. He sighed, and checked his watch on his left wrist, wondering why someone was at his door at 1am.
He opened his door, and the person he expected – Chelsea – was not the one on the other side. Instead it was someone shorter, older, and well, hotter. It was Summer.
He almost shut the door, right then and there, but something forced him to keep that door open, almost like a force itself, keeping him from shutting the door on his ex-girlfriend.
He stood there, holding onto his beer, from the top, so it hung by his left side, his eyes wide and twinkling – as she always remembered – and his mouth hung agape, in shock.
"What are you doing here, Summer?" He said, although, much to his surprise, it didn't come out as a mean way. More of the 'are you okay?' sort of way.
Summer gulped for what seemed the millionth time that night, she looked around Seth, into his apartment, and at the grey door that was firmly staying open with the help of his hand.
"How'd you know where I lived?" he tried again.
"I, uh, I asked Chelsea." Summer said, finally answering his question, of course Chelsea had spoken of her boyfriend a lot at work, claiming him to be wonderful and amazing, yet a little mysterious, and Summer had smirked at the comment, not really taking any of it in. She'd told Summer a while back about having to take time off due to the fact that her boyfriend was moving from one side of town to the other – she claimed that he wanted to be close to her – and so, with Chelsea being a very trusting, friendly, talkative person, had told Summer where her boyfriend had lived.
And Summer did not, to this day, know why she'd remembered Chelsea's boyfriend's address so clearly.
Seth frowned as he thought over it, why would Chelsea just randomly tell some random that she'd just known where he lived; he sighed and leaned against the door more. "What are you doing here?" He asked again, hoping to get a straight answer from her.
"I came to see you." She said simply, pleading him with her eyes to just listen.
"What, like you came to see me when you came up here to look after your dad, just as you'd called me back, when I called you just as-,"
"-Seth-,"
"No, Summer, no, I won't talk to you about what I'm feeling, so it can turn into one of them stupid cliché type things, where we talk about feelings, realise the stupid bond, and have a 'fairy tale ending'," Seth said, using air quotes. Witch almost caused Summer to burst out laughing, not at the situation, not at him, just at the way she had expected it to be that way, just like in the movies, except this was real life, and while movies were good to take your mind off real life, they were never as realistic – obviously – so she'd stopped herself from laughing, and looked at Seth, urging him to continue.
"Look, I'm guessing you're wondering, why the fuck I'm in Seattle in the first place, I'll give you a clue, it's not for the weather, and it's not anything to do with it being the home to Starbucks, okay, I'll be honest, it was for you. I came up here like so stupid little sheep, looking for you, and I didn't find you, I set up life here, and never thought I'd see you again. Okay, so there, it's out in the open, now you know why I was here, and that I have a girlfriend. You can leave," He said, trying to shut the door, but Summer put her arm out, not exactly blocking it, but Seth would never say no to Summer, and just left it open.
"Why?" Summer asked, suddenly feeling about 2 inches tall.
"'Cause believe it or not, Summer, I loved you, and I wanted to be with you, I just, I just wanted to be selfish, and have you. I didn't care where it was that we were, I didn't care about anything. I dropped out of RISD, and just moved up here, I, I just wanted to be with you," Seth said, the emotion settling in around him, he gulped the huge lump in his throat, taking a huge gasp of breath, hoping it would settle the quivering lump.
"Seth, I'm, uh, I'm-,"
"Don't you dare say you're sorry," Seth said bitterly, he didn't know where all of this was coming from, he didn't know what was up with his own bitterness, he'd expected, that when he'd come up to good 'ole Seattle, that as soon as he'd seen Summer, to pick her up, in his arms, loving the feeling of how is body fit with her own, and letting their lips collide in their reuniting kiss. He never expected it to be this way. "You, you, just left."
"I know, Seth, I'm so sorry, I really am, and I'm sorry for saying sorry then."
Seth hinted at a smile, to her last speech, but then quickly looked up from his scoffed converse's. "It's okay Summer, really," Seth said, a completely different tune to his voice as he'd had just a few minutes ago, Summer smiled, and gulped the huge lump in her throat, "We've moved on since high school, I think that we could be friends, really good friends."
And it was at that moment that Summer Roberts' heart shattered into what seemed a million pieces. She didn't know why, she'd thought she'd let all romantic ties to Seth loose ages ago, but as he said the word; friend. She felt someone had punched her in her stomach, and it'd left that weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"Yeah, Seth, that'd be great," she said, trying not to grip the side of the door, the pain in her stomach seemed to have travelled from the pit of her stomach, upwards to make her chest tight.
"Okay, so here's my cell number," He said, as he entered his apartment, trying to find a piece of paper, he found some by the side of the cordless phone, he picked up the pen close to it and wrote his number and name on it – not that she'd forgotten his name or anything. He returned to the door to find that Summer had entered his apartment about a metre and gave her the single piece of paper, she examined it as he spoke up, "Ring me," He shrugged "If you ever want to hang out."
"Yeah, okay."
They stood – a metre apart – the awkwardness settling in as they casually glanced at their former lovers, they'd only ever been awkward when they were broken up, and there were obvious feelings still there. And that was usually only in the first week after the break up. Summer glanced at the point on her high heel.
She feigned a yawn, moving her hand to cover her mouth, to stifle the fake yawn, "You know I'm really tired and it must be about 3am, so I'm going to go now. Bye, Cohen."
"Yeah, okay, bye Summer," Seth said, he moved forward one step, as did Summer, they met in the middle for a more than awkward hug. A few seconds into it, and Summer had relaxed herself in the one place she'd promised herself she'd never be. Seth Cohen's arms.
"Night, Cohen."
It was now early February, and Seth and Summer had moved from the complete awkward 2 year post break up phase, to the 'we're friends but we also still have strong feelings but we're denying them' phase.
Chelsea had, of course, found out about the history between Seth and Summer, and instead of feeling left out, or that she was a rebound, she just tended to ask Summer questions about Seth from his childhood and teen years, or the same to Seth.
She just couldn't get over the fact that one of her friends, and her boyfriend used to be an item, what a coincidence, she used to say both to them. Of course they hung out, maybe not as much as they used to in high school, but with work for Summer and College for Seth, it definitely was proving difficult.
"Yo, Roberts," Seth greeted as he walked into the restaurant, just 20 minutes after closing time. Summer was sat behind the main reception her brows furrowed and her lips puckered inwards. She quickly looked up; her eyebrows back to the normal level but her lips still inside of her mouth.
"Going ghetto, Cohen?"
"Sup, homie?" Seth asked, coming closer to the desk, as he leaned over and glanced at what she was doing.
"I asked if you were going ghetto, not telling you to," She said, she watched as he leaned over the counter.
"Yeah, my ghetto days are over," he said with a shake of his head, with a regretful look.
"And when were you ghetto?"
"When I lived in the hood."
"What hood? Pelican Drive?" She questioned and burst out laughing.
"Hey guys," Chelsea said as she interrupted the old friends, and kissed her boyfriend's cheek.
"Hey," Seth said, the smile on his face drooping a little at the corner of his mouth, but staying all the same. Summer looked at them and gulped, hoping it would clear her dry throat; she had stifled her laughter as soon as she'd heard Chelsea's voice.
"What are you guys talking about?" She asked, suddenly feeling very self conscious, she'd be lying if she said that she hadn't felt any jealousy or self consciousness since she'd found out about Seth and Summer being an item all those years ago. She gulped as she saw the look and smile shared between Seth and Summer.
"Are you ready to go, sweetie?" She asked Seth as she placed a hand on his chest, standing in front of him, hoping it would break whatever little bond he'd just had with Summer.
"Where are you guys going?" Summer piped up as she bought one of her legs up to sit on, on the chair, she looked up from her work she'd just glanced at. Leaning on her elbows, she moved forward, and looked at the couple in front of her.
"Uh, just movie and dinner," Chelsea answered, finding it hard to keep the gleaming smile on her face.
"Original, huh?" Seth directed to Summer.
Summer just nodded, and looked over her work, biting her lip, once more, "Well have a good time guys."
"Yeah, we will, good night, Summer,"
"Night."
Seth and Chelsea walked out into the cold crisp air, his arm loosely around her waist. Summer watched with envy as they walked out, she wondered what it felt like, to be in his arms as he whispered the random declarations of love. It'd been so long since they'd been together, and Summer was starting to forget what it felt like to have his skin on her skin, she'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have them butterflies in her stomach after he'd told her he'd loved her.
She sighed and looked round the, once thriving, empty restaurant and let out an over-dramatic sigh. She looked back to the work that sat in front of her, closing the books, she stood up and looked, once more, around the restaurant. As she moved into the staff room, she clicked off the lights, and started locking up.
She took all of him in as he sat opposite her, his eyes went from left to right as he read the menus and his lip twitched, she couldn't help but smile.
"Seth?" She said, it caused him to look up from his brown back leather menu and into her blue eyes, that reminded him so much of Ryan or Marissa.
"Hmm?" He said, as he moved his attention away from the eyes he swore belonged to his best and former best friends, and back onto the Thai menu that was in front of him.
"I… uhh, did you like the movie?" She asked, nervously laughing, trying to cover up the first she was going to say.
Seth looked up, closing his menu, and placing it in front of him, he put both his arms over it and stared at her intently, "Yeah, if you like the chick flick type."
Chelsea giggled at this, "You mean people like you then," She said, pointing her short, un-colored nail at him.
"Oh no, you know my secret," He flashed his charming smile that had made her interested him in the first place, they'd been friends for a while before they got together, and every time she saw him flash that cheeky grin, she almost had to hold onto something, as her knees not buckle underneath her.
She suddenly found a new confidence within her, to say what she was about to say, she had felt insecure the last month, sure, but the fact that he was still with her, and not with his high school sweetheart. That had to mean something; she gulped the huge lump in her throat and blinked a silent, dry, tear away that had formed in her eye. "Seth, I…," she trailed off, unsure of how to say it.
"Yeah…," He encouraged, looking straight into her eyes, and moving his hand towards her, carefully rubbing her knuckles with his thumb.
"Seth, I love you,"
Seth, stopped the caresses he'd been making to her knuckles, with his thumb, stilling it on her fingers as his arm went stiff, along with the rest of his body, no girl, other than Summer, or his mom, had ever said those 3 little words to him.
Chelsea looked at him, expecting eyes, as she waited for his reply to her big declaration. Seth moved his hand off of her hand, and reached in front of him, reaching for the beer that had been placed in front of his just a few minutes before, as soon as the bottle neck made contact with his lips, he gulped it down, letting the cool liquid soothe his dry throat.
"Seth…?" Chelsea asked, Seth put his brown bottle down and averted eye contact, playing with the label of the bottle that was now an arms length away from him. "Please, just say something, anything," He finally glance up, and saw the deep pools of blue being filled with tears.
"Chels," Seth said soothingly as he reached for her hand again. She automatically pulled away, letting her hands land in her lap and she entwined her own fingers and looked at Seth expectedly. "Look, I just, I just thought that this was a…," He trailed off, unsure of how to say it, "I just thought that this was meant to be a fun relationship, ya know?" He asked.
Chelsea's face paled, and she stilled her whole body, feeling her world, literally, crash around her, she looked up, from her fingers, and into Seth's deep brown orbs, the sympathy; the honesty; the comfort, etching off his eyes.
"Yeah, I know, but, Seth, I love you," She emphasized again.
"Look, Chelsea, I really, really do like you-,"
"But you don't love me?" Chelsea broke into his speech, the salty water embedding her eyes as she felt a wave of nausea crash into her.
"No," Seth said, first off, but seeing the look on her face was enough for him to decide to reword it a different way, "Not yet, it's just when I first met you I'd already been in a serious relationship, and I didn't think I was ready for another serious relationship, or any kind of relationship, and you proved me wrong on that."
"You don't love me," She repeated her last statement, her lip quivering.
"I just want to be able to say it when I really mean it, because I know one day, I'll really be able to mean it."
Chelsea gulped and closed her eyes, when she opened them she brought them up to meet Seth that, as she had expected, where all over her, with a worried glance, she nodded, "Okay, but, um, Seth?"
Seth's stare had changed from worried to relieved, "Yeah?"
"It will be soon, right?"
Seth gulped, avoiding her glare that she was giving him, looking at the centrepiece on the table, "Yeah…," He trailed off, unsure, himself, of his own answer.
Chelsea knew that even he wasn't 100 percent sure on his own answer; she felt like in that one moment of his awkwardness, that her heart had been shattered into pieces.
It was never her intention to fall in love with Seth Cohen. She was one of them girls, that had fun, simple relationships, and as soon as she heard the words, 'I love you,' she went running. She loved the chase. She thrived from it. Leading boys on then letting them down, was what she did best. And Seth Cohen was no exception, except of course, she found herself loving the way his fingers entwined with hers as they held hands, she found herself waiting up 'til 3am just for his call. She never did that. And it was during one of them intense 'waiting by the phone,' sessions, that she realised that she was falling head over heals with Seth Cohen.
When she looked into his eyes, she saw his past – that he was so reluctant to tell – the pain, the hurt, the sorrow, and all she wanted to do, was take care of him. Let herself be the girl that never hurt him, she never thought that about anyone. And it scared the hell out of her that she could love someone enough to want to see and have all of them.
The waitress arrived at their table, her pad and pen out ready to take their order, unaware of the event's that had taken place, not 5 minutes before.
Chelsea gulped as the waitress asked them if they 'Were ready to order yet?' She looked at Seth, and saw that he'd buried himself into choosing the different selections.
Seth clutched her hand as he made his way up to his apartment, she was only an inch or two taller than Summer, so she was still shorter than him.
He wondered when and why he'd started liking her, maybe it was the fact she was the opposite of Summer. He needed to not think of the smaller brunette that had stolen his heart. And with her complete opposite, it was nearly possible to not think of her.
But it was a very screwed up logic, 'cause it only forced Seth to think more of Summer. But either way, no matter who he was with he was going to think of the girl he'd been in love with when he was 10.
"Seth," Chelsea called into his train of thought, he shook his head and realised they'd made it words his door, without a word, he pulled his keys out of his pants pocket, and twisted his key in the lock, swinging the door open. He let Chelsea in first, while he pulled the key out of the door and chucked his keys to the table that was just a few metres from the door.
When he reached the couch that Chelsea had flopped onto, upon arrival, he sat down, awkwardly at the end, his thought getting the best of him, as he stared off into space.
Chelsea knew that she should be reassured, he was still with her, and had told her that he'd say them 3 magical words when he was ready, but she didn't know when he'd be ready, it could be a while, it could be forever. She just didn't know how long she could wait, the said that if you love something, let it go and it will return, and that's what scared her the most. She could let Seth go, but she'd fall apart and she wouldn't even be sure if he was coming back.
It killed her to have to depend on someone like that.
That is why, since she'd said the words that changed people's lives, she, too, had had a deep train of thought. And it was decided; from way back at the restaurant what she should do. In the quietest voice the world had ever heard, she said the words that had been forming in her mind for the last month, "You love her, don't you?"
Seth's Adam's apple seemed to have doubled in size when he heard the question, he closed his eyes, he couldn't lie and he couldn't tell her the true, he was stuck in a loop.
He didn't need to answer though, Chelsea seemed to get the idea with his closed eyes and a confused glance was enough, she knew he couldn't tell her the truth, and that made her fall in love with him all over again. "Seth, you need to tell her."
"Yeah, but what about-."
"Do. Not. Even think of me, Seth Cohen, we can still be friends, but go, you have to get the woman you love," She said, her heart was tearing into two as she said these words, the tears trickled down her face, she didn't even feel the water well her eyes up, or even feel a sob.
"I'm sorry," He said, the sincerity in his voice caused another few tears to fall down, that she, again, didn't feel. So this is what it was like to be heartbroken, to cry, and not even feel it.
"Seth, its okay, just go. Be with her," she said, in that one moment she couldn't have cared less if the world stopped spinning or the room she was in exploded, she was in a dead end, letting the man, the only man in her entire life, she'd loved go. "Goodbye, Seth Cohen."
Seth eye's almost bulged out of his head, he quickly leaned forward planting his soft lips onto Chelsea's cheek, she really wished he hadn't done it, it made her close her eyes and want to beg him to stay and take care of her, just as she wanted to him, but instead she bit the inside of her mouth, the sharp edge of her tooth forcing pressure to the tender mouth.
"Chelsea, I do, I do love you, just not like that…," He trailed off, wondering if she got what he meant.
She nodded and then closed her eyes, "I know, Seth, and I'm sorry, that this," She waved her hand between the two of them, "didn't work out."
"Me too, keep in touch, Chelsea."
And in one instant, she'd heard his jangle of keys and she knew where he was going.
Seth had never had as much adrenaline as he did in that moment as he raced out of his parked car and towards the grey door to the massive house, well it wasn't anything up to Newport standards, but it definitely beat his one bedroom apartment.
He pounded onto the door, the 1 minute gap between his knock and the person answering, had been way too long for Seth, so he'd kept on banging, the seconds were counting down in his head.
50 seconds.
He heard someone fumbling with keys, dropping them, before picking them up. Seth, even though he'd heard the other person, had continually kept knocking.
40 seconds.
"Okay, hold your horses," The voice said behind the door. Seth sighed, but still kept knocking, wondering how long it'd take for his knuckles to bleed.
20 seconds.
Seth was really restless now. His foot tapped as he knocked as well, waiting impatiently.
10 seconds.
He heard the keys engaging with the lock, the amount of twisting of locks annoyed him, when all he wanted to do was see the face on the other side of the door.
5 seconds.
3 seconds.
2 seconds.
And there she was. He looked her all over. And for the first time in weeks he looked at her, and I mean, really looked at her. Ever since they'd been re-introduced, Seth had been too scared to get close to her, in fear that she'd leave again, that he hadn't even thought about them as a couple, so he hadn't looked at her, looked at her.
"Seth," She said, calmly, "What are doing here? You're meant to be with Chelsea."
Seth looked up at her, his eyelashes fluttering up and looked into her matching eyes, "I, I know," He choked up. "I, uh, came to see you."
All of a sudden the geeky old, 17-year-old Seth found his way into the new and improved 21-year-old Seth.
"Why?" Summer asked, cautious.
Seth gulped, once more; it was now, or never. "I broke up with Chelsea."
"Oh."
Seth stood, awkwardly, nodding, "Yeah…,"
"Why?" Summer asked, after a few moments of silence and wandering glances.
"She, uh, she told me she loved me," Seth said.
Summer stared at him, shocked; she'd heard various things about Chelsea's and Seth's relationship, even before she knew that Seth was dating Chelsea, and there was one thing she remembered, the fact that Chelsea and Seth's relationship had been purely 'fun and simple.'
"And…," Summer urged him, softly, to continue, she couldn't deny the fact that her heart had started racing, seeing Seth there on her doorstep, or beating against her chest when he'd told her that him and Chelsea had broken up.
"I, I couldn't say it back," Summer nodded at his answer, and Seth nodded, even though he didn't know why. The atmosphere could have been cut with a knife, and Seth decided he had to break it. "The truth is, I couldn't say it, because, I wasn't ready – well that's what I told Chelsea anyway – and then Chelsea figured out the real reason."
"Which is…," Summer urged once more, she knew what was coming, and she wasn't sure if the butterflies in her stomach were the good kind, or the bad kind. She gulped, and looked up through her thick black eyelashes and engaging Seth into eye contact.
"That I love you, Summer Roberts," The smile that lighted Seth's was the most magnificent she'd ever seen, his dimples framing the grin that had creased the corners of his mouth up, his brown eyes had the same twinkle that Summer hadn't seen in over 2 years.
Instead of matching his smile and repeating the words he'd just said, she threw her arms around him, causing him to fall back the tiniest bit with the force of the kiss. But instead of pulling out to steady himself, he just pushed back on Summer as much, meeting her for the most passionate kiss he'd ever had.
He'd never thought anything could beat the Spiderman kiss they'd shared, upside down, in the rain, but this, this was a thousand times better. This was their reuniting kiss after 2 years of not being anywhere near how close they were now.
"I love you, too," Summer said, after five minutes of kissing with such passion and desire, they forgot to breathe. They pulled out, keeping her head leaned on his shoulder turned into his neck, breathing his scent.
She'd decided that she didn't want Newport – like she'd come to believe over the years of being home sick – she didn't want Seattle, all she needed was the man embracing her, and she'd be fine. Which was good, because he wasn't planning on leaving, and neither was she.
Wow. Longest oneshot I've ever wrote. You could reward that with a review.
Word is, on the street, that reviewing is the 'cool' thing.