My dear sister,
Nothing is fair. If things were fair you and Gavroche would be alive and I'd be dead. You were always much stronger than I was. In a fair world the strong survive, right? If things were fair we wouldn't be poor. If things were fair I wouldn't know what the sewers smelled like. If things were fair I wouldn't know how to properly escape from jail. If things were fair I wouldn't know what bakeries in Paris lock their doors at night. If things were fair I wouldn't be on a boat writing you this letter now.
My mother is dead. My brother is dead. You are dead. These are things I have to cope with everyday. I wish I was strong like you were. It has been almost a year since you went down to the barricade on the street and got yourself shot.
I hated you for it. I hated you for leaving me all alone. I needed you. I needed you and you left me along to wither like a dead leaf ready to fall off a tree. I still need you. I need you right now.
Things went downhill after you died. That July mother got Cholera and died that August. Father and I were left alone. I became his new go-to girl. We need someone to spy on this dangerous criminal. Azelma go do it. We need someone to walk 10 miles to deliver this letter. Azelma go do it.
It is sad to go on quests without you. When you were with me things were like an adventure. I remember when I was younger and we used to pretend like we were brave explorers and Paris was an undiscovered land full of mystery. I miss that. Now I just trudge along by myself. Sometimes I make fun by humming or seeing how far I could kick a pebble. Nothing is like it used to be.
Even father realized things needed to be changed. He got this crazy idea to go to America. He also got this crazy idea to get the money to go to America by bribing Marius Pontmercy. He took me to Marius and Cosette's wedding of all places. Of all places I'd never want to go, Marius and Cosette's wedding is towards the top of my list.
When we first got to the wedding, Father and I got separated. He went off to steal food or something, and I went to go tell Marius what I thought about him. I was very angry that day. Father had me wearing a horrid dress. I was slightly ill. I walked up to Marius and said exactly what I thought.
"I hate you. You killed my sister. She'd do anything for you and you never cared about her at all. She loved you. You are a selfish..."
Marius interrupted me. "Eponine saved my life. She saw the bullet coming at me and jumped in front of me. I am very grateful for her."
I glare at him. I am very good at expressing my emotions without talking. He goes to put his hand on me but I pull away.
"What do you want me to do?" Marius asked me.
"There is nothing you can do. She is dead."
Father caught up to me and started giving some pathetic speech that Marius didn't fall for, yet he still gave us enough money to get on this boat.
I don't know what I am going to do with this letter. Maybe I'll throw it overboard. Maybe I'll tie it to a bird and let it fly to you. I'll probably just put it in safe keeping for a while.
I think the main reason I was so mad after you died was that you never said goodbye. You knew were going to die, but you never said goodbye. It wasn't until the week before we left for America that I found the note you wrote me.
It was a short sweet note. It made me cry. I memorized every word to your note. I repeat it back to myself in mind when I'm trying to fall asleep.
You are gone. I understand that. But I believe in heaven and I believe you are an angel right now and can read this. I bet you are a beautiful angel.
I will never forget you.
Your sister, Azelma