'As in the dreams which make the fear of sleep
The terror of love, the depth one cannot leap.'
~I am a book I neither wrote or read - Delmore Schwartz~
A/N: This is sort of me getting back on the horse. I have a project I'm working on sitting around 20k. I'm trying some new styles and such out in this story. It's kinda pre-SQ and it toys around a bit with the laws of magic (I have absolutely no idea what they are in the Once universe) so bear with me. Story plays in Neverland and I started to write this before the premiere aired.
-x-x-x-
"It's going to rain again, isn't it?"
"Highly likely, yes."
Emma groaned and kicked a small branch away into the underbrush. "As if this damned humidity wasn't bad enough, it has to rain every few hours to boot." Huffing, she glanced at Regina for a moment, unable to understand how the woman seemed to be completely unfazed by the suffocating heat and occasional torrential downpours. Then again, she surmised, it wasn't something that would have slowed either of them down, considering what was at stake.
There was a clenching feeling in her chest, centered around her heart, as she thought of how he might be out there somewhere, captured, possibly in distress, waiting for them to rescue him. And she knew she couldn't fail him, not when she already failed him once so badly, by letting go of Neal's hand. Even though she understood, after a few late-night talks aboard the Jolly Roger with her parents, that she couldn't blame herself for what happened. She shouldn't blame herself, and yet she couldn't stop either.
Emma could feel Regina's eyes on her, and belatedly realized she had stopped walking. "Shit..sorry," she muttered, a little heat rising to her cheeks from the embarrassment of being caught day-dreaming, "I kinda got lost in thought."
Instead of the scolding she had expected to follow in the wake of her half-assed apology, Emma was surprised to see something shifting in Regina's eyes. They softened as Regina continued to study her in a silence before speaking up.
"Henry?"
Emma gave a nod as an answer, relieved to know they were on the same page concerning the son they shared. And it was only now that she understood that she wasn't alone with her wandering thoughts. Even though she should have known in the first place, that Regina was just as worried as she, underneath all of the facades.
Regina looked down at her outstretched hands, at the purple tendrils of magic swirling around her fingers. All this power was at her beck and call, but nothing to aim it at. Nothing but the ghosts that they had been chasing for the better part of last week.
She had seen the emotions flitting across Emma's face. One after the other, each one of them displayed clear as day, without any care in the world if anyone would see. And even though they were so different like that. One bottled up their emotions and the other allowed it all to pour from their eyes, yet Regina knew that at the core of it all laid the same reason. The son they were both so desperately trying to save, with not much to show for it so far. Even all the magical tricks she had picked up during her travels across the worlds couldn't help them to track down these lost boy, when all they had left behind them were mere breadcrumbs.
Words lingered on the tip of her tongue, ready to be formed into the concern she so badly wants to share. Even with how complicated their history so far had been, Regina liked to think that Emma of all the people would understand. It would have been so easy, to share this with another person. To finally let out every bit of powerlessness she had felt ever since Henry got abducted, the frustrations, the fear. The words lingered on the tip of her tongue; ready to be spilled, but she closed her eyes and swallowed them whole instead.
"We should proceed ahead," she muttered, "for at least another half an hour or so and if we can't find anything concrete, I'd say we go back and meet up with the rest."
"Only half an hour?" Emma puffed her cheeks, quickly flicking her eyes skywards to get a handle on what time it might be. "This is their territory, we'll never find anything in.." She halted mid-sentence, impact of something striking her in the right shoulder throwing her off. Briefly, she thought about calling Regina out on it, surmising that she would most likely had something to do with it. But then she spied the panicked look on Regina's face and everything started to slow down.
Her mouth opened to ask what is going on, but instead a wheezing breath came out. There was pain too. It radiated from her back, and as she moved her hand towards the spot, she quickly found the culprit; she felt an arrow lodged into her right shoulder. Her eyes locked with Regina's, but before she could ask for help, she found herself stumbling forward and her hands dug into the hard-packed dirt to brace against the worst of the impact. Another arrow zoomed by and planted itself at odd angle from the leaf-covered ground a few paces away. Emma's heart beat wildly into her chest and the rushing of blood through her veins made her head pound. She could only just make out Regina yelling at her almost frantically to stay down, before she sagged forward into the dirt. Her eyes blinked rapidly as she tried to focus, tried to will her body into cooporating; to being useful in fighting off this ambush they had stumbled into.
The barrier only took a few seconds to set up, and Regina watched with a sneer playing around her lips as various arrows bounced off the invisible shield. She spied Emma moving ever so slowly from the corners of her eyes and growled under her breath. Of course it would figure that damned stubborn fool wouldn't listen to a word she said.
"Stay down!" Regina hissed exasperatingly.
More arrows hit the barrier, bouncing of it harmlessly, some breaking in half as if they were mere twigs. Soon fewer and fewer were being fired their way, until the noise of whistling arrows was completely gone and all Regina could hear, as she warily scanned the treelines, was the crunching of underbrush and the wind rustling through the leaves. Then, as from a single command, half a dozen boys; faces contorted in anger and waving around clubs and spears came rushing towards their position.
"I wouldn't get much closer if I were you," Regina gritted out, her eyes narrowed to tiny slits as she took stock of the ragtag group of Lost Boys which were circling around her barrier; no doubt trying to find a weak spot.
Instead of answering, one of them, whom Regina figured to be the leader, grinned at her broadly and his beady little eyes glittered in the sunlight. "Your barrier won't hold forever."
"It doesn't need too…" she warned him offhandedly, "now I suggest you all to disperse immediately or suffer the consequences."
"Regina.." she heard Emma calling for her, "what are..y-you doing."
"What I do best dear." Grinning wickedly, Regina cocked her head as a form of a silent challenge, towards the leader of the Lost Boys. Though he seemed unimpressed with her threats and continued to poke and prod at the barrier. "Fine then, have it your way." She raised both of her hands up slightly, palms outwards and tiny sparks danced across her skin. Those sparks then ignited, while she harnessed strands of magic and weaved them together. Until they finally coalesced into twin balls of roaring fires that she immediately threw towards the two nearest boys.
They both missed of course, but it did send the vermin scurrying for the holes they'd crawled out from. She sent a few more fireballs flying their way while ignoring Emma's cries for her to stop what she was doing. After she was sure the boys had all fled, she turned around while rolling her eyes heavenwards. Truly, that insufferable woman really was the spawn of Snow White and Prince Charming.
"Honestly Miss Swan, if it wasn't for that barrier you would've been a pincushion, could we postpone discussing ethics when it comes to handling possible threats until a more appropriate time? Thank you," she added glibly when Emma just glared at her from her position on the ground.
"You could've killed them," Emma accused as she propped herself up on her left elbow. Her back hurt like a bitch, and she could feel a trickle of blood running down and soaking the shirt she was wearing.
"But I didn't. And I must say, I showed quite remarkable restraint not turning them into the equivalent of a human torches."
"They are just kids Regina, Jesus."
"No, they appear to be just kids, there's a difference. A very important difference. These so-called kids would have stopped at nothing to rip us apart limb by limb if I hadn't stepped in. You're welcome by the way."
"Yes of course..thank you, Your Majesty, " Emma muttered sarcastically as she supported her right shoulder with her other arm and attempted to glance at the damage that had been done to it. "So now that we're out of danger; how bad is it, can't you like...magically heal me or something?"
"Your grasp of magic…" Regina shook her head and quickly checked how the arrow had implanted itself into Emma's body. "It didn't go through." She couldn't help the lurch in her stomach with that realization. What was going to follow was not going to be pleasant.
"No it didn't, but why would that be…" Emma's jaw dropped as she noticed the nervous expression on Regina's face. "Shit…" she gritted out as she tried to move into an upright position. "Please tell me you can remove it with magic?"
"I cannot."
"Damnit…" Emma had tears springing into her eyes as the arrow moved around while she attempted to stand. She was grateful when Regina finally took pity on her and supported her until her legs stopped wobbling enough for her to stand all by herself.
"Can you walk?"
"Probably," Emma croaked, "though don't ask me how far."
"There's a small path that veers off this road, I noticed it when we first followed the trail. The density of the trees is thicker there, I can spell them to hide us while we tend to your injury."
"Can't you.." Emma moaned as she took a step and ripples of pain went through her body. "Can't you..teleport me to the others."
"I wish," Regina wiped a few beads of sweat away from her brows as she glanced around for any signs of danger. "I can't, I have no fixed location I could teleport us too."
When she turned back to face Emma, she saw the other woman had gone ghostly pale, her lips were down turned into a grimace as she took another step forward. Without giving it much thought she crossed the few yards that separated them and placed her hand on Emma's right shoulder. Ignoring Emma's hiss of pain and attempt to push her away, she pulled the fabric of the shirt to the side and traced a few circles on the skin surrounding the arrow embedded into Emma's shoulder.
"W-what are you doing.." Emma could feel nothing but pain at first, the way Regina's fingers pressed into her skin, but then a soothing warmth spread outwards wherever Regina was touching her, taking the pain along with it. "Oh..that's good," she mumbled, eyelids drooping a little, her entire body relaxing with every pass of Regina's fingers on her skin.
After a moment more, Regina removed her hand and wordlessly walked towards the direction they had come from initially.
"Regina..wait up," Emma called out, confused by the other woman's strange behaviour. One moment she was helping her out by suppressing her pain and the other she went back to being emotionally distant as ever. It was a source of never-ending frustrations to Emma.
"We should move, there's not a lot of time left before nightfall."
"I know and...goddamnit I really wanted to find something that could lead us to Henry today, but that's not why I asked you to wait up."
Regina turned around to face her, lips pursing into a thin line. "Whatever is on your mind, it can wait. Unless you are looking forward to another encounter with that pack of animals, I suggest we start walking. The pain suppressor spell I used on you won't last forever either."
"Great," Emma groused, "How long is not forever?" Her eyebrows hit her hairline when instead of getting an answer, Regina walked past her towards the underbrush lining the path. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. But it would seem like one of those vicious little things left us a gift when he ran off with his tail tucked between his legs." Regina held up a small pack, made of what seemed to be deer-hides.
Emma watched for a moment as Regina rummaged around. Every now and then her face contorted into utter disgust, and she threw something out while muttering under her breath. Emma had to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning at the display. "I suppose it would be too much to hope for that to hold a map to Henry's location or something?"
Slinging the pack across her back, Regina shook her head. "Unfortunately no. There's some wrapped cheese, bread and what I assume to be dried meat in there, two small blankets, a knife and I think these," Regina held up 2 small objects, intricately carved out of wood, "are some kind of whistles."
"Nothing that will be of much help," Emma huffed out dismayed.
"Not necessarily. The whistles might be used for communications purposes. We can discuss a plan of approach once we've met up with the rest of the group."
Emma followed after Regina along the path they'd came from, her left arm protectively slung around her right, just in case the pain would start up again. "Even if the spell won't last very long, thank you for helping out with managing the pain anyway."
"Of course dear. You would've slowed us down considerably otherwise."
Emma rolled her eyes behind Regina's back. "Right."
They walked in a relative silence for a few minutes more until dark ominous clouds rolled out overhead and the winds started to pick up. She almost wished it was because of the impending nightfall, but feared there was an entirely different reason altogether behind the sudden change in the weather. Her fears got confirmed when the first ice-cold droplets of water impacted on her head and back.
"Great. Just fantastic, I'm really starting to hate this place," Emma muttered sourly. she noticed Regina speeding up and attempted to keep pace. "Please..tell me," she panted, some of the pain returning and making her gnash her teeth, "that it's not much further.
Regina stopped at the small trail which veered off the beaten path and motioned for Emma to walk up ahead. Rivulets of water ran across her forehead, and several strands of hair were clinging to her face. The heavy rain was soaking them both from head to toe and limiting their vision to just a few yards in each direction.
"Why are you stopping?" Emma queried as she tried to work through the waves of pain radiating through her shoulder and backside.
Ignoring the other woman, Regina focused on their barely visible footsteps, and then made a few circular motions with her hands. "Throwing any possible pursuers off our trail. I'm erasing our footsteps, and making it seem as if we continued down the other path."
She repeated the hand-motions a few times and once satisfied with the results, she ran across the path to catch up with Emma. Her shoes sank into the muddy-underground with each step she took, and she breathed a sigh of relief when they reached the crop of trees that would hopefully provide them with proper shelter.
"How will this even work?" Emma wondered as she copied Regina's motions and walked onto the small clearing. Though the canopy of leaves provided by the tall trees surrounding the spot they were standing in stopped a lot of the rain, she wasn't under any illusions that any of the Lost Boys wouldn't find them should they start to actively look for them.
"Like this," Regina said and turned around the clearing in a small circle. Purple tendrils of magic shot from her hands across the branches of the trees, weaving them together magically until they formed an impenetrable shell of branches and leaves that hid them from view.
"Nice," Emma managed to grunt out. Then her vision started to spin and she sagged down to the ground with a whimper. "Though if you don't mind terribly much, can we please remove that damned arrow from my shoulder now." Everything just narrowed into sunspots of pain for her and she had increasingly more trouble keeping her eyes focused on the woman walking up to her.
Wordlessly, Regina sank to her knees next to Emma. She blew across the ground, using magic to pile up a large amount of leaves and drying them; knowing they both needed to be comfortable for what would come next. For a moment she hesitated, but she had already visualised the plan of approach on their way to this shelter. That and there really was no more time to waste. The longer the arrow remained inside Emma's shoulder the more likely it could cause a serious infection. Reaching out with one hand she grabbed the right side of Emma's tank-top and ripped the fabric until she had a clear view of where the arrow was embedded.
"Fuck," Emma gritted out. Though Regina had put a hand on her shoulder to minimise the movement while she tore her shirt to shreds, the motion still made it feel like someone twisted a knife inside of her. "You do know…" she wheezed, "that was my only shirt, right?"
"I would advise you to stop talking dear, you're going to need every bit of energy for this."
"This being what exactly?" Emma queried wearily. Her teeth chattered a little and she'd taken notice of the cold taking hold of her and seeping into her limbs a few minutes ago. Up until now she'd chalked it up to the fact it was cooling down now that the sun had set, but it wasn't just that and a part of her feared that she was running a fever. Especially since she was still a bit soaked through from the downpour before.
"I'm afraid the arrow-head needs to come out before I can remove the arrow itself from your body."
"But it's.." Emma's eyes grew huge and her body tensed as she stole another glance at where the arrow was protruding from her back. "You can't be fucking serious!" she hissed as it suddenly became to clear to her just exactly what Regina was hinting at. "There's got to be another way. Just..use your magic and remove it like that."
"I need to be able to see the entire object before I can remove it, Miss Swan," Regina said, her tone laced with regret. She didn't want to dwell on the reasons why the prospect of causing more pain to this woman was making her sick to her stomach. Instead, she tried to steady her slightly trembling hands by balling them to fists and searched out Emma's skittering eyes with her own. "I might be able to remove it, but I might risk leaving behind the arrow-head inside of your body as well, and that would eventually result into a slow painful death. So no..I will not use magic for this."
Emma squeezed her eyes tightly shut, tears leaking out from the corners. "Fuck," she cursed out, trying to somehow resign herself to what needed to be done. "Can you take away the pain again?"
"Yes though not all of it." Regina didn't know how to process the painful, distraught look painted across Emma's features and she dipped her head down to divert her attention. "I need to push the arrow head out through the front, then I can use some fire to cauterise the tip and remove it from the back."
"And the wounds?"
"I can heal all of it afterwards, it won't even leave a scar."
Emma nodded, breathing in deeply as she bent a little forward to stabilize herself and give Regina better access to her back. Fingertips glided across her back softly, leaving behind tiny balls of heat that slowly unspooled into a lazy warmth spreading throughout her body. Her thoughts drifted as she relaxed and let the strangely comforting magic take her mind off things for the moment. She was still shivering a little, though the aching cold she'd felt before was gone for now at least. A hand holding a sliver of wood appeared in her vision and she rose an eyebrow in silent question, even though Regina couldn't see it obviously.
"What's that for?"
"Something for you to bite down on. We might be hidden from view, but too much sound will still draw unwanted attention to our location."
"Can't you..I don't know, use some sort of dampening spell or something?" Emma twisted her head to glance across her shoulder and see Regina's reaction to her question. Stuff like this was still too new to her to know the limitations of what magic could do.
"I could, but I have already used a lot of magic today, I do not wish to spend what remains of it on something as insignificant as that, when a simple piece of wood does the trick just as well."
"After we get through all this shit, remind me we really need to work on your bedside manners," Emma remarked as she eyed the sliver of wood disdainfully. "Let's just get on with this. My parents and Hook are likely looking for us by now, and Henry.." she trailed off and swallowed thickly. Henry was still out there, waiting for them, and she just..had to catch a fucking arrow in her shoulder. She placed the piece of wood into her mouth, bit down on it and waited, trying not to tense up but found herself unable to stop her body from doing so in anticipation of the pain that was about to follow.
When it came, it blotted out everything and anything. Pain soared through her shoulder, and her teeth clamped down on the wood as she howled out in agony. She felt the tip of the arrow pushing through her flesh and she couldn't… Her hand lashed out in front of her, scrabbling into the dirt as her screams got muffled by the wood. Another push, and the wood fell out of her mouth, her eyes stared forward unseeing, and it was only Regina's hand that covered her mouth which stopped her from yelling out.
"Emma." The voice came from somewhere far away. "Emma, look at me." There was a hand on her face and it brushed away some of her hair in front of her eyes, but she couldn't focus. She couldn't. Her heart was beating so fast it felt like it was trying to escape from her chest. "Emma." There was genuine worry shining through and then Emma felt arms wrapping themselves around her body, placing her half across Regina's lap.
"I.." Her voice was scratchy as she tried to speak. "Please.."
"It's almost through," Regina said, wishing not for the first time there was another way to do this.
She had no idea what had possessed her to move Emma like that, though the way Emma's body had shook almost violently had tugged at something deep inside of her. Something about this woman always seemed to do that. The way she was able to find the tiniest of chinks in Regina's armor, collapsing any of the walls she attempted to raise between them. Every second that had passed between finding out Emma got hit by an arrow and now, had been filled with attempts to distance herself. All of it for nothing, she realized, as she looked down at Emma's face, covered with beads of sweat and contorting in pain.
"I'm sorry," she whispered softly, as she forced a small branch into Emma's mouth, making her clamp back down on it. She held Emma's side in a tight hold and curled her fingers around the arrow and pushed one last time, watching with a sickening feeling in her stomach as the tip finally pierced through Emma's shoulder. She wasted no time in conjuring up some flames, burning off the tip, and yanked the object out of Emma's body as fast as she could.
She was both relieved and worried when she noticed Emma had fainted. Turning the motionless body around slightly in her lap, Regina slowly traced the wounds with her magic, stopping the bleeding and knitting muscles and nerves back together. A few more passes and both wounds were gone, no trace of them ever having been there. And then a wave of nausea hit her and she collapsed backwards on the bed of leaves she had prepared an hour or so earlier.
Regina has no idea how long she lied there, drained of all energy, her body cooling off rapidly in the chilly night air. She found herself unable to move a muscle to cover herself up or check on Emma's status. All of the meals and sleep she had foregone in favor of finding a clue about Henry's whereabouts were taking their toll on her now.
"R-re-regina." It came out stutteringly and then Emma was hovering over her, face barely discernable in the pitch-black darkness of night. "W-what.."
"We..we need to get warmed up," Regina managed to force out. She found what trickles of energy remained in her body and managed to prop herself up on her elbows. "I could try make a fire but.." She rubbed at her forehead, alarmed at how cold her fingers were, they barely had any feeling left in them. "We can't draw attention and I don't have magic to ward off anymore attacks."
Regina reached out and felt Emma's forehead. "You're running a fever."
Emma's teeth chattered around in her mouth and she shivered like a leaf. "I'm just...s-so cold…" She had her hands tucked into the hollows of her arms, but nothing seemed to help abate the coldness. There was a spark of a thought that penetrated the haze she found herself in. The arrow was gone, there was no wound, no scaring like Regina had promised, but then cold air prickling along her exposed skin distracted her again.
Regina quickly realized that both of their clothing being damp didn't help matters much and temperatures were going to drop even more during the night. "We need to get warmed up," she repeated. Taking of her jacket and boots she was slightly amused with the odd look Emma gave her. "Take off your clothes," she ordered. When the only response was Emma staring at her wide-eyed, she sighed. "Miss Swan, take off your clothes right now or I will do it for you."
At any other time, Emma might've thought up a snappy comeback, but she realized the direness of the situation they were in and quickly caught on to what Regina's idea was. She stayed silent and rid herself of her clothes as fast as she could. Or what remained of them, as her shirt was an unsalvageable tattered and bloodstained mess. It was also the only scrap of clothing she had for her upper-body and already she loathed the thought of the eye-full she was going to give Hook when they reunited with the rest of the group.
"T-they're going to worry where we are," Emma shared her concern as she fished out the blankets and food from the pack Regina had brought along with them. "My parents...," she clarified after a moment of silence.
"Hook will likely have found a safe place for them to spend the night," Regina said, not even knowing herself why she was trying to reassure Emma.
She removed her pants, the last article of clothing to land on the growing pile, leaving her in only her underwear. The full blast of the cold air, blowing through the gaps in the branches that surrounded them protectively from all sides, hit her body with all of its icy intensity. She spread out one blanket on top of the bed of leaves and laid down on top of it. The other blanket and the dryest clothes she placed on a pile within hand's reach. Instead of lying down next to her though, Emma was still standing at the very tip of the collection of leaves littering the ground and eyed the makeshift bed wearily. Almost as if she was afraid it would come alive and jump up at her.
"If you keep standing there, you will freeze to death."
"Right," Emma muttered, finally being poked into action. Avoiding Regina's inquisitive gaze, she dropped down on her knees and tried to find a comfortable position as far away from Regina's mostly naked body as possible.
"I would've never figured you for a prude Miss Swan."
"I'm not…" Emma blew out a breath out of frustration and rolled over to face Regina. "Why do you do that by the way?"
"Do what?" Regina questioned as she spread out the blanket and clothes over their bodies, and scooted a little closer to Emma.
"That Miss Swan thing. You called me Emma, when you held me."
Regina reached out and placed a hand on Emma's forehead again. "It seems your fever is getting worse."
"Hey!" Emma removed the hand again. "Don't even try to put that on me being delusional, I know what I heard."
"Your fever is actually getting worse."
"Don't try to change the subject."
"So what do you want me to say then?" Regina queried as her eyes roved over Emma's body. Even if she loathed to admit it to herself, she had always been curious about what might be hiding underneath the atrocious collection of clothes Emma chose to wear. When she refocused her attention on Emma's face again, she smirked knowingly at the slight flush rising to Emma's cheeks. Certainly it had nothing to do with her fever.
"I..uhm I don't know," Emma mumbled as she wrapped her side of the blanket a little tighter around her body. She knew she would likely wake up somewhere in the middle of the night, feeling as if she was burning up. But right now, she intended to enjoy what warmth she could absorb into herself. From a corner of her eyes she caught Regina studying her intently and Emma had no idea what to make of it. Or of anything that happened ever since they combined their magical powers and saved a town together. "I just..I figured you could just keep calling me by first name."
"And why would I do that?"
"Why not?" Emma countered. "If nothing else, after all this is over, after we've saved Henry and possibly returned back to Storybrooke; wouldn't you say we could at least slowly grow to be friends?"
"Oh so you want to be friends?" Regina said mockingly, with a condescending look on her face.
"Don't be like that Regina. We haven't been enemies for a while now. And everything that has happened? Yes I believe we can be friends. I want to try at least. Not just for Henry's sake, but because I'm tired of everything either of us does ending up in an argument. And especially now that…" she choked up and dipped her chin to her chest, hiding the beginnings of tear she knew shimmered in her eyes. "Now that Neal is gone, what would benefit Henry the most would be a stable environment to grow up in."
"I think friends would be asking for too much dear. Perhaps acquaintances would be better, wouldn't you agree?"
"Because you save all of your so-called acquaintances lives?"
"I didn't help you out for your sake, Miss Swan."
"Of course you didn't," Emma said sarcastically, "and yet I have a feeling you'd do it again in a heartbeat. And again, I remember what you said to me, when I was out of it with pain. So I think you care about me, on some level at least."
"The fever is messing with your head dear." Regina thought of something else to say to get Emma to back off, but she snapped out of it when warm, slightly calloused fingers settled across her cheek and cupped it.
"Can you look me in the eyes and say you don't care whether I live or die?" Emma had no idea where her sudden bout of courage came from, but she just needed to know the answer to this question. "Because you could've just left me there, could've even abandoned me to those Lost Boys and no one would've even been able to pin the blame on you. But you didn't, and then you helped to extract the arrow." She paused then, a shiver running down her spine as some of the cold penetrated the thin blanket. "So at the very least you can let me thank you for taking care of me, even if it leaves you indifferent and even if that means nothing to you, it means something to me, okay?"
Instead of getting an answer like she had been hoping for, Regina stared at her for a moment, face a blank indecipherable mask. Then she turned around, and Emma's hand dropped away from it's place on Regina's cheek. "Good night Miss Swan."
Regina swallowed as she closed her eyes and tried to focus on evening out her breathing. It was strange to hear some of the things she had thought being put into words. The possible friendship Emma thought they might have, when Regina had realized a long time ago that her feelings went so much deeper than that. And subsequently, she had to push them away even deeper every time they tended to resurface. She blamed the way she slipped up when she held Emma in her arms, on the combination of the day's events, as well as her utter exhaustion.
It was that exhaustion that claimed her moments later, until something woke her up again. She had no idea at first where she was, or what was going on, but then everything came rushing back to her.
Sometime during the night she had rolled over, and right now she was treated to the sight of Emma shivering uncontrollably. Moonlight filtering through the branches illuminated both of them, enough for Regina to make out Emma's eyes moving around rapidly beneath her eyelids. She hesitated only a second or two before she squared her jaw and moved even closer to the other woman. Turning Emma's body on her back she slung an arm across her chest, just below her breasts and spooned her from behind. Regina was surprised to feel how cold Emma truly was, and wondered why the stubborn woman hadn't mentioned it before they settled in for the night.
Minutes passed and the shivering eventually stopped completely. Regina was torn between creating some distance again or holding Emma in this embrace throughout the night. Eventually she sighed and adjusting the jacket she had been using as a pillow, she decided to stay where she was for the time being, not wanting to risk Emma getting cold again during the night.
The next time she woke up, it was to find Emma whimpering nonsensical things in her sleep. A hand placed to her forehead made Regina's stomach turn into knots. The fever had risen and Emma's entire body felt as if it was burning up. Though confident that it would break eventually, it was the lack of water and the inability to keep Emma hydrated that really worried her. It was night still though and she didn't want to risk running off to find water, only to have Emma wake up and wonder where she went.
She held on and fell back to sleep. The last time she woke up, the first beams of sunlight flickered across her face. Emma was clutching onto her chest, her hands clawing at unseen things in the air. But it's the name that she calls out that made tears rise into her eyes and shattered the last vestiges of her defenses.
"Henry…" Emma moaned out as her head lolled around on the bed of leaves.
"Emma." Regina felt her forehead again, dismayed when it seemed as if the fever was still going on strong. When the soft whimpering continued, she tried to shake the woman, though to no avail and she bit the inside of her cheek as she made her decision.
Emma woke up disorientated, something cold and clammy was on her forehead and her skull felt as if someone took a sledgehammer to it. "God.." she groaned, "my head.."
"Nice to see you back to the land of the living dear."
"Uh-huh," Emma mumbled. Her tongue felt like sandpaper and her mouth was parched dry. "You have any water?"
She looked in disbelief at the cup that was offered to her. It was formed by several leaves folded together intricately, in a way that she figured only magic was capable of doing. "Thanks, I think. I guess that means your magical batteries are recharged and all then?" Then as she looked up at the canopy of leaves and branches overhead, and with her stomach rumbling audibly she wondered about something else. "Uhm..how long was I out for?"
"A day and a half or so," Regina said, avoiding her eyes.
"Shit," Emma gulped down some more of the water and stood up, the damp cloth falling off her forehead. It's only when stood upright, her vision still spinning a little, that she took a notice of her state of undress. She went wide-eyed when it hit her fully, ignored the chuckling coming from behind her while she rummaged around for her clothing and dressed herself quickly. Except for the tank-top that was. Mumbling expletives under her breath she tied a knot around the edges. It would have to do until she could steal someone else's clothes. Preferably not Hooks, she thought as she pulled a face.
"I uh..." Emma stuttered as she faced Regina again.
"I know," is all Regina said in response. "You've saved my life from an angry mob as well as a wraith-attack, I think it's fair to say we're even now wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah.." Emma trailed off. She looked at the make-shift bed of leaves on the forest-floor remembering something else. Or she thinks she did. "Regina?" she questioned, holding the other woman's eyes with her own when they centered on her. "I don't know if this makes sense but...I remember some things you said to me." Did she imagine the panic rising to Regina's features? "Uhm about Henry?"
Regina closed her eyes in relief. "Yes I did. I think with our forces combined we can find him and bring him home safe. I just.." Miss him, she thought, though she doesn't voice the words. "I wish we knew if he was okay."
"What do you feel?" Emma questioned. When all that Regina did is stare at her blankly, Emma sighed and fished around in the pack, grinning like a fool when she found some of the cheese. "I mean, in your heart, what do you feel when you think of him? Because to me, I feel hopeful, I can almost sense he's out there, and he's fine, unharmed...waiting for us to find him."
Regina looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "Your positive outlook when it comes to bleak situations is almost as infuriating as are your parents," she stated snappishly, though it came out more amused than bitter. "But thank you for saying that," she added after a moment.
Emma nodded and rolled up the blankets to stuff them back into the pack. "I think once we get back to Storybrooke, I'm never going camping again, ever." She pulled a face as if she ate a lemon and waited for Regina to make an opening in their shelter.
They traveled in silence for a while, though Emma knew they were both a lot more aware of their surroundings than before. She caught a sight of Regina's hand making clenching motions more than once, as if she was prepared to cast a spell at a moment's notice, should they land themselves into another ambush.
As more time passed, something gnawed at her. Like she had missed something, though she had no idea what. And stealing glances at Regina revealed nothing. The only thing which was slightly off, was her being even more quiet than usual. Puffing her cheeks, Emma traced the non-existent wound on her shoulder blade. She hadn't imagined that at least. In fact she remembered all too well the world of pain she had been in. But there were other things, hazy thoughts at the edge of her awareness, a voice that called to her. And she wondered, as she looked over at Regina once again, just what exactly had transpired on the nights she had been riddled with fever.
She was too lost in thought to notice the sounds coming up from somewhere ahead of them. But Regina had, and she felt a hand yanking at her arm, pulling her to the side of the road.
"There's a group up ahead," Regina whispered. She conjured up a fireball and held it up, but as some of the people rounded the corner,the fireball dispersed into mere wisps of smoke. "It's your despicable parents," she stated the obvious. What surprised her though, was the extra person that trailed right behind Hook, and it took her a second to put two and two together. But when she did...it made her world shift on it's axis.
"Neal!?" Emma exclaimed in disbelief. She stood stock-still for a moment, but then tears prickled in her eyes and she dropped the pack she had been carrying, ran over to the group and jumped into his waiting arms. "I-I thought you were dead.." she stammered.
"Yes well, I ended up in the Enchanted Forest and some people helped me with finding my way back to you. Though the artifact was a ways off, I ended up several miles off course," he explained. Leaning in, he kissed her fully on the mouth.
Regina watched the scene unfold with a heavy feeling in her chest. Building up walls, she averted her eyes away from the happy reunion and studied the road they had been travelling along moments ago. A part of her thought it was better this way. And though she loathed the idea of having to share Henry with that worthless son of Rumplestiltskin, there was also the relief that at the very least, Emma didn't remember anything. Had no idea of the things that Regina had confessed to during her fever-spiked dreams.
When she looked back at the group of people happily chattering amongst themselves, she almost missed the way Emma was staring right at her. Right through her. And there was no mistaking what was in her eyes, what was etched across her face.
Emma knew.
-x-x-x-
TBC eventually