A/N: Well, I guess the title says it all. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own sword art online. please don't shit on me. Reki Kawahara does, I think

Sword Art Online: Feminist Reboot

Kirito, or NiceGuy528 (what a badass) as he was known during the beta test, puts on his Nerve Gear. He thinks to himself,"Why do people shit on my username?" Thankfully, he has learned from his mistakes and has changed it to the more woman respecting name, Kirito, as we all know Nice Guys don't actually respect women. Moving on, putting on the Nerve Gear, Kirito the Woman Respecter, as he likes to call himself, he shivers with anticipation at the limitless possibilities of advertising feminism and woman respecting on even more platforms. "I can't wait to respect even more women!!!" He thinks as he shrieks, "LINK S T A R T AAA!!!!!", his voice cracking in the process. At the thought of respecting women, Kirito grows ever stronger.

-Winning With Respecting-

"Y U NO.." Kirito screamed, "RESPECT WHAMEN!!", calling upon the power of dead memes and rage comics to further boost his attack power. As he finishes his sword skill, it leaves a trail of pink, cutting through the, as Kirito would imagine, sexist, chauvinistic and racist Frenzy Boar.

At level 4, Kirito was easily one of the most overpowered players in the game. Pathetic, non-woman respecting fools, Kirito muttered as he stared at the chauvinistic males around him, hacking away at the boars, not doing any damage.

Klein appears out of nowhere, kneeling at Kirito's feet."Please, teach me the art of respecting the woman! Only then can I vanquish the boar tormenting me!"

Kirito is silent, letting the silence continue for about an hour before finally speaking,"You must truly respect the woman, young man. Not for vanquishing chauvinist, sexist boars, but to vanquish all nON WOMAN RESPECTERS!!!!!" Kirito proceeds to throw a rock at a boar and kills it instantly. Klein is awed, and now is a woman respecter and Feminist.

Okay but if you become sexist you instantly die" Kirito warned Klein.

"Oh what's your name lol" asked Klein.

"I am the one and only Kirito, Woman Respecter, Feminist, Defender of all Women, Fighter for Woman Rights, Anti-Chauvinist, Mighty Anti-sexism Warrior and also the Great Femina-"

"That's cool my name is Klein lets be friends Kirito"

"k lol"

Suddenly, bright autistic lights shine here and there, people are transported to wherever the heck the bell is ringing from.

"Oh what the heck"

"They're probably gonna award me for respecting woman!!!"

Kayaba proceeds to rattle off all the details about not being able to log out and blah blah blah. But, in Kirito's eyes, the only thing that mattered is if he could respect woman. "...and woman respect is also allowed lol", said Kayaba. Kirito cheered at those words and shrieked so much he lost his virtual voice.

"Please check your inventory..present..blah blah.." Kirito opened his inventory and found a mirror. Looking in it, he saw his own real life face.

"Oh wow, now I can totally respect woman even more!!" He looked around and saw Klein in all his glory, which wasn't much. "

At least he respects woman", Kirito thought.

Some gay dude who looked like a woman (who Kirito was trying to respect) was actually a dude. Kirito was disgusted because he was respecting wrong woman all along.

-time skip to first floor boss battle-

"Okay lol lets kill the Kobold fatass" yelled Diavel.

"Let's do this with respecting woman!!" yelled Kirito. Even though he was only supposed to take care of the kobold minions with the seemingly not woman respecting fag named Asuna, he didn't give a shit and badassedly used his feminist powers to kill all the kobolds by flying through the air and rushing the enemies with pink sparkling Woman Respect. He saw Diavel going for the last bonus, but gayfag kobold lord just had to use a different weapon. So Kirito screamed at the top of his voice,"RESPECT WOMAN, YOU SEXIST CHAUVINISTIC RACIST ANTIFEMINIST WOMAN OPPRESSING PIG!! No pun intended though!!" He brought his Sword of Woman Respect50 through the boss monster's chest and dabbed as he fell, a woman respecting act. He got the last attack bonus, the Coat of Midnight, which he later renamed the Woman Respect Coat. He wasn't gay, and so didn't dye it pink. He still respected woman though.

Badassedly, he responded to some weirdo's beta tester bull crap with a fabulous "I respect women more than you do" and flipped his Woman Respect Coat fabulously. During the battle, Asuna was actually discovered to be a woman and so she was now respected by Kirito. She followed Kirito on to the next floor, ignoring Kirito's crap about not letting woman in danger.

And thus, our hero's journey begins,

By winning with woman respect...

-end of chapter 1-

A/N: Hope you enjoyed Kirito and his woman respecting acts! Updating soon! Please read and review, it would mean a lot to me!