Title song by Blake Shelton
God Gave Me You
"Akaashi-kun?"
Akaashi felt his shoulders instinctively drop upon hearing Rin's timid, apologetic voice behind him. It wasn't the girl's fault that she somehow had the misfortune of constantly being the one to find a certain moody silver haired teen and then be forced to seek out the one person who could handle him. Setting his textbooks down on his desk with a quiet sigh, Akaashi attempted some kind of understanding smile despite his weary frustration as he turned to face his contrite looking classmate.
"Where is he this time?" Akaashi asked without needing to ask what it was that Rin had approached him for. They were far past that stage in their interactions with each other.
"I'm so sorry to bother you again, Akaashi-kun." Rin wailed tearfully as she screwed her eyes shut and bowed her head, curly pigtails swinging forward.
"It's okay, Rin-chan. He's my teammate and my responsibility. I don't mind at all." Akaashi assured gently as he pat the tearful girl on the head. "Now, can you tell me where he's sulked off to?"
The hallways were crowded due to it being lunchtime and Akaashi took his time weaving in between students and teachers on his way to the main staircase. Idle chatter and gossip filled the air but Akaashi paid it all no mind as he kept his hands in his pockets and his eyes on his shoes as he contemplated what he was going to do this time. Taking the stairs down to the main floor, as Akaashi reached the bottom he could practically feel the cold aura of brooding tainting the cheerful atmosphere. Not even thinking about hurrying his casual walking pace, Akaashi rounded the staircase before leaning up against it and staring down at the teen sitting petulantly in the tiny space under the stairs.
Bokuto knew that Akaashi was there, Akaashi could tell by the way his lower lip jutted out and the way his eyes kept almost glancing his way before darting back to the ground. Sighing wearily, Akaashi nudged Bokuto over with his foot, resorting to bodily shoving him when he refused to move, and squeezed himself into the tiny alcove beside him. If anything, Bokuto seemed to be pouting even harder now that he had Akaashi shoved up against his side. With his head tilted back, eyes staring unseeingly up at the underside of the stairs, Akaashi heaved a heavy sigh before reaching for Bokuto's hand.
The frown on Bokuto's lips deepened unhappily when his hand instinctively grabbed onto Akaashi's. He was trying to sulk, dammit, but he could never turn down physical contact with Akaashi no matter how despondent he felt. Instinctively sensing that Bokuto was not going to speak until his bout of childishness was over, Akaashi simply squeezed the hand that was holding his before closing his eyes and settling in for a long wait.
A considerable weight thumping into his chest made Akaashi crack open an eye in irritation to be met with a fluff of silver hair in his face. Rolling his eyes with a self-deprecating huff, Akaashi accepted that he was most definitely an enabler of Bokuto's behavior but nonetheless still indulged the other teen and wrapped his free arm around Bokuto's shoulders. Bokuto snuggled deeper into Akaashi's chest with a delighted little chirruping sound that made Akaashi scoff in amusement.
"You going to tell me what's wrong now?" Akaashi asked as he adjusted to a better sitting position with Bokuto's added weight on him despite the whining protests.
A long silence stretched on after Akaashi's question as Bokuto remained stubbornly silent, but this did not faze Akaashi one bit. He was used to this waiting game and he'd learned to be a very patient man where Bokuto was concerned. An exaggerated exhale of breath rustled the front of Akaashi's school top as Bokuto finally gave in.
"I'm graduating soon." Bokuto stated it like it held the answers to all the universe's questions and seemed quite put out when Akaashi didn't seemed amazed by his revelation.
"Yes, and?" Akaashi was not grasping how this piece of common knowledge had pushed Bokuto into one of his moods.
"You still haven't given me an answer." Bokuto mumbled into the buttons of Akaashi's shirt. Akaashi instantly froze as he realized where this was going. His heart had suddenly taken off at a sprinting run in a vain attempt to escape this conversation, and for as much as Akaashi would have liked to play the situation cool he knew Bokuto's ear was right over his panicking heart. "There's only so many times a guy can handle confessing to the person they're in love with, you know, even if they're a persistent idiot like me." Bokuto whispered, subtly hugging himself closer to Akaashi.
Sighing out a long, emotionally pained breath, Akaashi let himself give in for a moment as he curled in around Bokuto, hugging him back tightly and burying his nose in the warmth behind Bokuto's ear. Akaashi prided himself in being calmly collected and carefully aloof in most situations, but all of that was shattered whenever Bokuto was around. Akaashi wasn't sure if he hated it or loved the fact that Bokuto could melt him.
The white noise of the students milling about was dying down, indicating that the lunch hour was drawing to an end, but neither of the teens hidden away under the staircase made any move to get up. They would undoubtedly get in trouble for being late to class, scolded severely in front of all of their peers, but they didn't care. For now, there was nowhere more important they needed to be than in each other's embrace.
Feeling that Bokuto was right, he really had waited patiently and deserved an answer, Akaashi prepared himself to say the words he'd been dreading and avoiding for as long as possible. Holding his friend tighter, as if that would protect him from what Akaashi was about to say, Akaashi couldn't help but marvel at his own selfishness. Here he was holding onto someone that he knew had feelings for him, taking all the warmth and closeness from Bokuto that he could, when he knew that his next words were going to break his heart.
"You're graduating soon." Akaashi parroted Bokuto's words back at him, his voice filled with sad regret even as he refused to let go.
"Yes, and?" Bokuto turned Akaashi's words right back on him, his tone frustrated as he lifted his head to glare at Akaashi. "What does it matter?"
"It matters," Akaashi sighed heavily for the umpteenth time, putting distance between them as he was tempted to pinch the bridge of his nose at Bokuto's stubbornness. "Because we're planning on going to different universities and it wouldn't be fair of me to-"
"I. Don't. Care." Bokuto cut him off with an angry hiss. Seeing and not liking Akaashi's attempt at pulled away, Bokuto grabbed onto either side of his face to hold him still. "Keiji, please just answer me honestly. I don't…" Bokuto paused as he swallowed hard, turning his eyes downward before meeting Akaashi's with determination. "I don't care about whether or not it makes sense. I don't care if it can't go anywhere right now, I just don't. All I care about is your honest answer."
Akaashi had never seen Bokuto begging like this, his voice cracking and hands shaking while mahogany brown eyes stubbornly blinked back tears. If given the option, Akaashi would have rather never seen Bokuto like this, much less due to something he himself had said or done. Brushing a thumb across Bokuto's lower lip that was almost imperceptibly trembling unless touched, Akaashi felt searing hot regret douse his chest.
"I'm sorry." Akaashi breathed right before he replaced his thumb with his lips, tugging Bokuto's lip in with uncharacteristic desperation. Bokuto was on him in an instant, practically straddling Akaashi's hips as he kissed back fervently, tangling tongues and limbs without waiting for any kind of permission. For the moment Bokuto completely forgot about being older, about being physically bigger, and let himself melt into Akaashi for as long as he was allowed.
"Bokuto-sa-" Akaashi tried to pull away but was smothered by Bokuto refusing to leave his lips now that he'd gotten a taste. "Bokuto." He tried once again to set Bokuto's one-track mind on a different line with similar results muffling his voice. "Koutarou!"
That did the trick as Bokuto finally pulled his lips away long enough to let Akaashi breathe. Delighted shock at hearing Akaashi use his first name warred with utter annoyance at being forced to stop kissing the object of all his affections on Bokuto's face as he sat in Akaashi's lap still, impatiently waiting for the reason why the kissing had stopped. Catching his breath and regaining his unflappable composure took longer than Akaashi would have liked to admit, but he did blame part of that on Bokuto's fingers absently brushing through the sensitive hairs at the back of his neck.
"Bokuto-san, we can't do this." Akaashi started but was, predictably, cut short by the older teen in his lap interrupting.
"Watch me." Bokuto retorted as he moved to swoop back in on Akaashi's lips but was stopped by a finger barring his path.
"Bokuto-san, I can't help but feel this is my fault for spoiling you so much." Akaashi refused to see the questioning tilt of Bokuto's head, lips still squished against Akaashi's finger, as anything close to cute. "I know you better than anyone, whether that's good or bad, and I've let you lean on me because of that. I know all your quirks, all your fears, your strengths and your weaknesses, and I've made your world fit you so that you don't have to sacrifice who you are and instead become stronger."
"All reasons why I love you." Bokuto mumbled, cutting yet again into Akaashi's train of speech.
"Bokuto-san." Akaashi warned sternly, steeling himself against Bokuto's jutting lower lip. "I can't always be there for you, and soon I won't be. You'll be on your own and I want you to be okay, even if it means keeping you as independent of me as possible." Akaashi reached a hand up to try and soothe Bokuto's pout away. His actions always rebelled against what clearheaded logic told him to do, pulling him closer when he really needed to distance himself, but he just couldn't help it. Even if he hated himself for it, he just couldn't stop. "You won't need me for forever, Koutarou, I promise." Akaashi's heart may have cracked a bit as he said those words, but he ignored it in favor of a small, reassuring smile at Bokuto.
Bokuto frowned, dropping his eye contact from Akaashi to instead wander over the dark recesses of the space under the stairs. Bokuto's eyes were unseeing as he collected his thoughts and Akaashi remained silent as he gave Bokuto all the time and space he wanted. Traitorous hands were rubbing gentle circles on Bokuto's thighs as he thought, making Akaashi hate himself that much more. An angry huff preluded blazing eyes rounding on Akaashi, making his shoulders stiffen in preparation.
"Yeah, okay, you spoil me. You let me be selfish and lean on you too much. I know I don't have to explain or watch myself around you and that makes me lazy and makes you think that I'd be lost without you." Akaashi had rarely seen Bokuto this passionately angry and never aimed towards himself, leaving him staring in stunned silence as Bokuto grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. "And maybe I would be lost without you, but you know what, Keiji? You'd be lost without me, too."
All the fire burning in Bokuto's eyes suddenly died as he dropped his head back onto Akaashi's chest, his fingers clenching wrinkles into Akaashi's shirt as hot moisture began to seep into the fabric. Akaashi's hands wanted to reach up for Bokuto's shoulders, his face, anywhere that he could have touched to try and comfort him but his brain wasn't signaling properly. The only thing that Akaashi could do was sit numbly as words came tumbling raggedly from Bokuto's mouth.
"I'm-I'm the only one who knows how much you hate school even though you're an amazing student and everyone goes to you for help. I'm the only one who knows how much social interaction bothers you even though you always offer to tutor people. I know that when you get that twitch in your lip if I give you an onigiri you'll start smiling again. I…I begged my mom to teach me how to make them even though I suck at cooking just so that I could always bring a couple to school just in case. I know that you get migraines during practice sometimes, which is why I always have that extra water bottle that I freeze. You give me weird looks for it but you always take it. You love listening to rap when we study so I make sure it's on and sometimes you'll start-"
"Bokuto-san!" Akaashi pleaded, nearly desperate for him to stop before he broke whatever resolve was left in Akaashi. Bokuto slowly lifted his head to show Akaashi the tears traveling steadily down his cheeks and that was it for Akaashi's half-assed resolve.
"I'm in love with you, Akaashi Keiji, not because of all the things that you do for me. The things you do to spoil me just tell me that you love me, too." Wiping at his eyes in mild irritation, Bokuto suddenly became shy as he broke eye contact before adding, "It'd still be nice if you told me, though."
Akaashi remained silently wide-eyed before bursting out laughing from lack of any reaction that would make sense. Where Bokuto was concerned, Akaashi had learned quickly that nothing made sense.
Bokuto looked mightily offended by Akaashi laughing at his most heartfelt confession yet, but it quickly switched to happy delight when Akaashi started kissing him again. Sadly, it was shorter lived than their first kissing session as Akaashi pulled away far too soon for Bokuto's liking.
"If you already know the answer, then there's no point." Akaashi smirked at Bokuto's scowl, but because serious again before Bokuto could protest. "I am going to miss you, Bokuto-san. A lot. But I'll manage and so will you, and maybe we'll even grow to not need each other anymore." Akaashi could see Bokuto's anger flare back up and hastened to finish before another rant was thrown at him. "But if we don't, if in five years you still need me and are in love with who I am then, then I will give you anything of me that you want."
A frustrated whine and a sharp tug at Akaashi's tie crashed him back into Bokuto's lips, and this time he wasn't allowed to stop until Bokuto had satisfactorily ravaged him.
"The only reason why I am agreeing to this," Bokuto growled into Akaashi's ear, one hand still wound in his school tie while the other tugged painfully at his messed up hair. "Is because I know that I am always going to need you, and I will never, ever, stop loving you."
Akaashi huffed from exertion as he carried the last box into his new apartment and set it down on a square of clear space that wasn't already occupied by the veritable sea of cardboard. Wiping the sweat from his brow and giving his tired muscles a break, Akaashi glanced around the living room to see his roommate puttering around with one of his own boxes. It was a nice apartment that Akaashi had snagged right out of college. It had a good sized balcony to hang laundry, got plenty of sunlight to keep electricity costs down a bit, and was within walking distance from the train station.
Making a mental timeline of everything that he needed to do before starting his new job on Monday, Akaashi conceded that unpacking should probably happen first. Reluctantly, for unpacking was nearly as unpleasant as packing, Akaashi grabbed a box cutter off of the counter and sat down on the floor to start opening boxes.
A cheerful ringing coming from Akaashi's pocket drew his attention away from the dull task as he grabbed his phone to check to caller ID. Akaashi furrowed his brows in confusion and threw a quick look at his still busily unpacking roommate before answering his phone.
"Bokuto-san, what do you want?" Blunt as ever, Akaashi cradled his cellphone between ear and shoulder so that his hands were free to keep working.
"So mean, Keiji! Is that how you greet your best friend after days of not talking?" Bokuto's voice wailed in his ear, causing Akaashi to roll his eyes. Years apparently did nothing to lessen Bokuto's clinginess.
"We just talked this morning." Akaashi was impatiently patient as ever. "Did something come up?" He was mostly on conversation autopilot as he moved boxes around looking for a specifically labeled one.
"No, not really, just wanted to tell you that I heard this cute new photographer is starting at work next week." Bokuto's tone of voice reminded Akaashi of a preteen girl lying on her bed gossiping to her best friend on the phone, but even so he found it hard to think any less of his friend.
"That's nice." Akaashi replied absently as he finally found his box, hastily labeled 'cameras,' and pulled it towards him to open it up. "Is that it? You know we do have to pay for these phone calls so they should really only be made when something important comes up."
"Keiji!" Bokuto gasped, his offense palpable even through the phone.
"Koutarou." Akaashi calmly played along as he carefully removed his cameras from their packing.
"I did have something else to tell you, actually." Bokuto mumbled sulkily.
"Did you?" Akaashi felt like a parent humoring their child, but he knew that he secretly enjoyed these silly interactions. Always had and probably always would.
"Mmhm," Bokuto's lilting hum was echoing in Akaashi's ears, making him flinch and pull his phone away from his ear to rub the ringing away.
A hand suddenly pulled Akaashi's phone from his hand as a playful kiss was dropped on his nose. Scrunching his nose at the unexpected assault of lips and silver hair in his face, Akaashi craned his neck back to look up into mischievous amber eyes.
"Just wanted to say that I still need you just like I need air in my lungs and blood in my veins." Bokuto spoke the words against Akaashi's forehead before he lovingly pressed his lips right above Akaashi's right eyebrow. Chuckling at his roommate's corniness, and maybe due to just a bit of pure-hearted happiness, Akaashi pulled Bokuto down to give him a proper kiss.
"And I still love you."