Counselor: Okay, okay, let's begin our meeting. Jake, would you like to begin?
Jake: Sure. My name is Jake, and I play too much D&D.
Dan: YOU ARE OUT OF CHARACTER!
Counselor: Now now, we're not even playing now. In fact, you all are here to try to get out of this game.
Keith: I suppose you're right. Now, because this game is so addicting, we'll say it has a difficulty class of 35. I have 3 ranks on Escape Artist, and my dex mod is +2, so I'll need to roll a...30 to stop playing. *pulls a d20 out of his butt and rolls* I rolled a 4.
Mark: That roll was so bad, your die turned into a vaccuum and sucked you back into the game with no escape of stopping playing.
Keith: Wee!
Counselor: Boys, to stop, we need to get out of our habits.
Jake: Get out? Keith, do another Escape check. Maybe it's easier to just get out of habits.
Dan: Think charisma might have anything to do with this?
Mark: I think I might have seen something. Who has a player's guide?
Counselor: No one has a player's guide. We need to put our dice and guides and manuals and other things away and embrace the real world.
Dan: Real....world? Hmm?
Counselor: You know, the place you go to buy gallons of Mountain Dew and buckets of Cheetos?
Keith: Ooooooh. Yeah, that big glowing thing in the sky hurts my eyes.
Counselor: ....The.......sun?
Jake: The sun? Pelor wouldn't do that to us, I'm a cleric that worships him vigorously, so he wouldn't hurt us like that.
Counselor: No, Jake, you're not letting go still. Pelor isn't real. Wyrms aren't real. None of this is.
Keith: Sure it is. This miniature feels pretty real.
Mark: And this playing mat.
Sully: Viva la Mayheco!
Counselor: Sure those things are real, but the game, and what happens in the game, are not.
Dan: I don't like the way you're talking...
Counselor: I know it'll be hard, but we have to get through this together.
Keith: I don't know if we can do it together. See, I'm an elf and Dan is a half-orc, so we don't really want to do anything together.
Dan: Urrg. Grog-nash elagh.
Counselor: I should slap you for doing that.
Dan: Do I get an attack of opportunity?
Mark: No, he's already in a threatened square.
Dan: Too bad. Oh well, roll your d20 anyway.
Counselor: Excuse me?
Jake: Well, you are attacking, so you have to see if you beat Dan's AC. You probably will since he's big and beefy and easy to hit.
Counselor: I'm not rolling any dice.
Mark: I will. But first I'm going to need your stats. Wait...you make the damned sheet, you're the dungeon master here.
Counselor: I am not the master!
Keith: Oh sure you are!
Counselor: Are not!
All: YES YOU ARE!
Counselor: Oh fine, give me the damn thing.
*Counselor rolls the die* Counselor: Let's see...I got a 15... *counselor blinks a few times and stares at the die* Um...
~~~~~ 1 hour later ~~~~~
Counselor: Okay, so you're walking through the woods. Dan, roll a Spot check.
*Dan rolls a d20*
Counselor: Right, so you see a large ruin looming in the distance. What do you guys want to do about this new development? It's your call.
Keith: Let's do a Search check to see if we see anything suspicious.
Jake: Boy, I'm glad we got this game going!!
Jake: Sure. My name is Jake, and I play too much D&D.
Dan: YOU ARE OUT OF CHARACTER!
Counselor: Now now, we're not even playing now. In fact, you all are here to try to get out of this game.
Keith: I suppose you're right. Now, because this game is so addicting, we'll say it has a difficulty class of 35. I have 3 ranks on Escape Artist, and my dex mod is +2, so I'll need to roll a...30 to stop playing. *pulls a d20 out of his butt and rolls* I rolled a 4.
Mark: That roll was so bad, your die turned into a vaccuum and sucked you back into the game with no escape of stopping playing.
Keith: Wee!
Counselor: Boys, to stop, we need to get out of our habits.
Jake: Get out? Keith, do another Escape check. Maybe it's easier to just get out of habits.
Dan: Think charisma might have anything to do with this?
Mark: I think I might have seen something. Who has a player's guide?
Counselor: No one has a player's guide. We need to put our dice and guides and manuals and other things away and embrace the real world.
Dan: Real....world? Hmm?
Counselor: You know, the place you go to buy gallons of Mountain Dew and buckets of Cheetos?
Keith: Ooooooh. Yeah, that big glowing thing in the sky hurts my eyes.
Counselor: ....The.......sun?
Jake: The sun? Pelor wouldn't do that to us, I'm a cleric that worships him vigorously, so he wouldn't hurt us like that.
Counselor: No, Jake, you're not letting go still. Pelor isn't real. Wyrms aren't real. None of this is.
Keith: Sure it is. This miniature feels pretty real.
Mark: And this playing mat.
Sully: Viva la Mayheco!
Counselor: Sure those things are real, but the game, and what happens in the game, are not.
Dan: I don't like the way you're talking...
Counselor: I know it'll be hard, but we have to get through this together.
Keith: I don't know if we can do it together. See, I'm an elf and Dan is a half-orc, so we don't really want to do anything together.
Dan: Urrg. Grog-nash elagh.
Counselor: I should slap you for doing that.
Dan: Do I get an attack of opportunity?
Mark: No, he's already in a threatened square.
Dan: Too bad. Oh well, roll your d20 anyway.
Counselor: Excuse me?
Jake: Well, you are attacking, so you have to see if you beat Dan's AC. You probably will since he's big and beefy and easy to hit.
Counselor: I'm not rolling any dice.
Mark: I will. But first I'm going to need your stats. Wait...you make the damned sheet, you're the dungeon master here.
Counselor: I am not the master!
Keith: Oh sure you are!
Counselor: Are not!
All: YES YOU ARE!
Counselor: Oh fine, give me the damn thing.
*Counselor rolls the die* Counselor: Let's see...I got a 15... *counselor blinks a few times and stares at the die* Um...
~~~~~ 1 hour later ~~~~~
Counselor: Okay, so you're walking through the woods. Dan, roll a Spot check.
*Dan rolls a d20*
Counselor: Right, so you see a large ruin looming in the distance. What do you guys want to do about this new development? It's your call.
Keith: Let's do a Search check to see if we see anything suspicious.
Jake: Boy, I'm glad we got this game going!!