Mouth Shut, Eyes Open
He stared at her as her long dark hair shined in the sun being tousled lightly by the gentle breeze. There was no doubt that the woman he looked at was beautiful, in fact she was more than that.
She was a goddess.
And he couldn't help but to let his eyes wander over her whenever he got the chance. That chance came rarely, like Hotch cracking a smile or Derrik not calling him Pretty boy every 10 minutes.
They didn't notice him staring at her.
Or at least he would hope that they failed to notice how his eyes would fall on her and stay there. His eyes never left her body, hair or face. Some how she didn't feel his eyes practically touch her with his intense stare.
But looking for too long wasn't his only problem. The need, the urge to be near her was always a thing that had to be satisfied. He'd drive himself mad if she were gone for too long when Hotch sent her out by herself. Yet he kept himself in check, making sure not to draw attention.
At least that's what he thought, hoped.
"Reid you okay man?" Derrik questioned the younger man whilst placing on his shoulder.
"I'm fine why?" he responded with a quirked brow.
"You seem a little distracted," the other man mentioned with a concerned look in his face.
"I assure you I'm fine Derrik," he replied lying through his teeth.
"Alright, but if you need to talk."
"I know, I'll talk to you," he said with a soft sigh.
Derrik gave Reid one last look before he turned away from him. As he walked away Reid sighed heavily, that was a close call. He had to make sure that he was more careful. More than ever now.
"I can't let anyone else notice," he mused to himself.
Stalking, a shameful act.
An act he never saw himself getting mixed up in. but each day he was getting more and more curious about the beautiful Emily Prentiss. But he would never go so far, stoop so low to invade her privacy. Because it soon would become an addiction that he wouldn't be able to let go.
Unlike the one he had, he had to go to treatment for that. It was something that he wished to keep a secret, just like this. This feeling that would rise in him every time he saw her.
If he admitted what he felt to himself as love, he'd feel like a boy in high school driven by hormones. And he did feel like that once when he was in high school, college too. But women never seemed to pay too much attention to him, and when they did it never lasted long.
At least when Emily paid attention to him she didn't loose interest when he spouted off random sometimes obscure bits of information. Instead, she was intrigued by the things he said, offering for him to tell her more on whatever the subject.
That gave him a good enough excuse to let his gaze rest on her for a long period of time. No one would think it off if he held eye contact during a conversation. It's the wanton glances that he would sometimes catch himself doing. He would have to be aware of how long he'd look at her. No one should know.
And no one will ever know, not even Emily will get the chance of knowing why his gazes would linger on her sometimes. Everyday he would pray that she didn't notice his fleeting glances or the way that his shoulder brushed against hers.
He hoped that by some miracle she wouldn't notice.
"Reid," her beautiful voice floated to his ears.
"Hmm?" he mumbled as he threw his gaze to her.
"Are you okay Reid?" she questioned with a concerned look on her face.
"I'm fine Emily," he said with a small smile.
"You sure?" she asked again worry still in her eyes.
"Very," he affirmed with the same smile.
"If you ever need to talk…" she began leaving the sentence to hang.
"I know," he replied with a nod.
She gave Reid one last look before turning away walking away from him…again.
'I should have told her,' he scolded himself as Emily walked away.
But at the same time, he wouldn't know what to say to her. he could take his chances and just let himself babble, yet it wasn't as appealing as maybe being like Derrik Moran; constantly suave and cool. Women flock, adored Derrik but not him; women though he was strange, awkward even.
She he went back to staring at her longingly, but being careful of how long he looked to her. She plagued his dreams every night, every night he saw Emily Prentiss's face over and over. He couldn't go on this way, he had to tell her.
Sadly, he sailed his own mouth shut. At least his eyes…were still open.