Happy New Years Eve! I hope all of you have a wonderful day, have fun, get wasted, stay in and relax, do whatever you want to do, just stay safe . Please enjoy this story, and I'll see you guys next year lol.
Note: I don't own any of the Attack on Titan characters -_-
Setting: Modern AU
Pilot
In the small city of Shiganshina, lies a small neighborhood market where the locals gather to get their groceries. This store is called the Scouting Legion Market, or SLM for people who find that saying the whole thing is inconvenient. This also leads to some people calling it "The Market" or "Scout Store," regardless; it's a grocery store, that's all. Anyways, here in the Scouting Legion Market, the workers of this small establishment are about to receive a rude awakening.
"Well it's finally finished, looks like we are getting some competition," said Jean Kirstein.
He along with his coworkers looked out the window; a big chain supermarket store was opening across the street, Malcolm & Potts or MP's for short.
"I'm sure healthy competition will be good for this place," said Marco Bott.
"Healthy competition? This is gonna be more like David and Goliath, except we don't have a stone to throw, we have bread," said Connie Springer.
"We are not throwing any bread. Do you know how long it takes to make one loaf?" said Mina Carolina.
Noticing the commotion, Eren Jaeger walked up to them, "You know, staring at it isn't going to make it go away…oh, Erwin is here."
Erwin Smith, store manager of the Scouting Legion Market, has commanded his employees valiantly for some years now. Moments like the Thanksgiving fiasco on the first of November and the festival of nightmares, showed how great a leader he was.
"Everyone, please listen," Erwin watched as all of his employees gathered in front of him. "I know that some of you are worried about the new store across the street," he was very aware of the sounds of whispering amongst the workers, "but we will overcome this, we will continue to show the people that this is the place to come for their grocery needs." Erwin motioned his hands to perform the traditional salute created by the founders of the Scouting Legion Market, "Offer up your services, and let us fight with everything we have!" No longer whispering, the employees saluted as cries of war resonated from their mouths, loud enough for their competitors to hear them. And though the market itself was small, it was big with pride, passion, and the strength to overcome anything.
A few hours later…
"Well this sucks, there is practically no one here," said Jean as he and his fellow coworkers stood against the wall. There were virtually no customers in their market, aside from a few recurring senior citizens who always came to speak to Christa.
Eren motioned away from the wall, "Are you always going to be introducing the current situation, because I think we can see that ourselves."
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought someone with your intelligence would appreciate some point of view."
"Shouldn't you be checking if the carrots are in stock? I hear there is a horse loose around here, the rest of you might want to watch your step for droppings."
"AH! You and your horse jokes, it only happened that one time after we left that party!" Jean grabbed Eren by his collar, while Eren mimicked his actions. Marco calmed the both of them down as he said, "Relax guys, I know that we are a little on edge since we are losing to them already; but it's only the first day, and I'm sure Erwin will think of something."
...
"I've got it!" Erwin said as Levi, who was sitting down, looked up from his book to listen to his boss's idea. "We will offer up some more coupons, and start placing deals on our products," he said confident in his proposal.
"We've already done that this past month, if we do it again we'll lose more money. Try again," Levi went back to reading his book as Erwin went back to thinking mode. Suddenly, the door swings open revealing the assistant manager, Hanji Zoe
"Looky what I found guys," Hanji Zoe dropped a costume of a grotesque monster in front of them.
The sudden rise of dust and the image of ants crawling away from the costume did not make Levi happy, "Four eyes, don't bring that disease infested, whatever it is, thing in here." Levi grabbed some gloves from his pockets, as Hanji said, "Don't worry it was in a closest, away from any human interaction for God knows how long." She smiled, as Levi halted from putting his left glove on in order to smack Hanji across the face with it.
"Levi, relax. Hanji, why did you bring this here?" said Erwin.
"Ow, well I was thinking we can use this outside so people can see. You know, free advertising is always good."
Levi and Erwin both looked at each other thinking the same thing. "I suppose it's better than nothing, who should wear it though. Levi?" Erwin hinted at Levi with a smirk.
"You're joking right?"
"Wouldn't work, it's too big for him anyways," said Hanji who was picking a poor choice of words today, as Levi took the right glove from his hand and smacked her across the face with it. The familiar sound of pain gave Levi an idea, "How about one of the new guys?"
...
The collecting sounds of laughter erupted, when Eren came out of the bathroom wearing the hideous monster costume. Even his best friend Armin couldn't suppress the feeling that was making him laugh. "I'm sorry Eren, but that is ridiculous."
"I think you found your calling," said Jean who still wasn't done, "nice getup, is that from last month's issue of City Dump!" The laughter was starting to die down as Jean kept talking, "Wait wait I got another one. Uh, now you can get that promotion—"
"Yeah, hilarious, now shut up. Do I really have to do this?" Eren directed his gaze to Hanji. "Don't worry you won't have to go outside alone, Jean will go with you, after all it's a two person act…here catch Jean."
Jean quickly wiped a tear off his eyes as he caught a plastic sword from Hanji. Looking down at it, then back up, he finally registered what she just said, "Wait, what?"
...
"Rawr! I will eat all of you if you go to that store across the street," said Eren talking to a girl and her mother.
Jean came in swinging and said in a monotone voice, "Don't worry, I will save you…Hyah. Please go into the scout store, ma'am and child, so you can be safe."
The child giggled as she pulled her mom into the store, while Jean waved at them.
"What the hell was that?" said Eren, "If we're going to do this, get into the role a little bit."
"Aw, are you jealous because I'm the hero and you're the disgusting monster that everyone is afraid of?"
"I will eat you if you don't start taking the role of the hero seriously!"
"Tch, you want a serious performance? I'll show you an Oscar worthy performance," Jean walked with a limp towards a couple passing by, "Hey! You two must get in the store, that hideous monster is creating chaos." Jean momentarily lost his breath as he resumed, "If you don't get in…he will eat your brains, because…he doesn't have any himself."
The couple was confused at what was happening, as Eren showed up in between them, "Now I'm going to kill you."
The two of them exchanged blows, as both were seriously trying to kill each other. But to the people wandering around, it seemed like part of the act, so they stopped to watch. As more and more people gathered outside, the two of them started wrestling on the ground, with Jean holding Eren's arm behind his back, "Say Uncle!"
"Grandma!" Eren said.
"Wait what? That doesn't make any—Ow!" With the back of his head Eren head butted Jean. It seemed like neither of them planned on stopping anytime soon.
Eren and Jean's display outside was able to bring in more customers, surprisingly, which was great, but this sudden rush of people meant that they had to return to their stations. After all, for most of the day, the employees had nothing to do and wandered about the store. When they did get back to work, they all quickly realized that things were getting out of hand.
"Sasha! We have expired meat, even if you think it smells good, we can't serve this to people," yelled an employee from one side of the market.
"Marco, I don't need your help, if I have to tell you one more time I will cut you in half," said Ymir from the deli department.
"Connie! You call those restrooms clean, go back in there and make them shine," said Levi as he dragged and tossed Connie back into the bathroom.
"I'm sorry sir, but we don't sell that here," said Thomas Wagner to a disgruntled customer.
"Please let go of the vase ma'am, it is not used to hold your dentures!" said Christa who was playing tug of war with a stubborn woman.
The rise in customers started to dwindle down as quickly as people arrived. Some started to leave when they realized that the MP's had the same things for a cheaper price.
"Erwin, we are starting to lose them," said Hanji.
"I'll get Eren and Jean to look more ridiculous," said Levi as he was about to leave, but was suddenly stopped by Erwin.
"Wait, Levi. It's alright we don't need to do anything else."
"Huh? Are you giving up already?" said Levi.
"Not at all, I learned that this isn't a problem that can be solved in one day. Our fight against Malcolm & Potts is not a battle but a war. And though they may be more famous than us, we have something that they don't have, excellent customer service."
Both Levi and Hanji eyes grew wide as they listened to their valiant leader, taking every word out of his mouth like golden currency. "So, I have the utmost confidence that our—" A sudden knock in the head from a flying vase brought the proud leader on the floor unconscious. Levi and Hanji drifted their eyes to where the vase came flying from and saw both Christa and an older woman pointing to each other.
...
"Well, another long day," said Jean.
"There you go again, " said Eren.
"You two did a good job by the way, I was really moved by your acting," said Connie smirking at the two of them.
Both Eren and Jean responded simultaneously, "Shut up."
"More importantly, I hope Erwin gets out of his coma soon," said Marco looking to change the subject.
"Yeah, Christa's got a really good arm, remind me to be on your team when we play baseball again," said Jean.
"Please don't speak about this again, I can't believe I put him in a coma," said Christa as she covered her face in disappointment.
A few minutes later, Hanji walked into the break room getting the attention from everyone there, "Hey, it's time for your shift guys. Christa we believe it wasn't your fault, so don't worry about. He is still alive after all," Hanji said smiling. "So I want you guys to keep working hard, because even though Erwin isn't here, I'll be taking charge for the time being, later."
In a single day, the employees of the Scouting Legion Market went from having a glorious leader to a crazy manager.
Eren sighed as he walked out the room with the others following, "Let's just do our jobs right. After all, we still haven't lost to them." The others nodded as they went to their positions, greeting customers as they walked in, "Welcome to the Scouting Legion Market, how can I help you?"
I watch a lot of sitcoms, so I got this idea of writing this series from that lol. They want all be this long, depends I guess ha. Again, thanks for reading and have a wonderful New Year's! BTW! If you haven't checked it out yet, read the Market Town One-shot.