Realization

Chapter 1

The phone vibrated... again. It was already the third time in just 5 minutes. Detective Chloe Decker did not even need to pick it up to know who was trying to reach her. She did anyway. The name on screen was just the one she expected: Lucifer. A deep sigh erupted from her. She clicked the call away and put the phone back down. She was avoiding him… she knew that. But right now…?! She could just not be with him… she could just not be with the… even in her mind she could not make herself say the word… devil… all these times when he told her, when she would just laugh, shrug it off, not believing him. All this time… he was… saying the truth! Her heart started to race… again! How was that even possible… sure he said he never lied to her but seriously… who would have believed that?

There was no way he was telling the truth… she kept telling herself. She did not even ponder about that so much as she was so sure. How often has she felt sorry for him? Sorry for him and his conflicts. All these things he surely could not talk about and needed metaphors to face them: His dad, his mom, his family in general. It was always so easy to convince herself it was all just a cover up. Just a story he was telling everyone to avoid is inner demons. And she went by it and played along. How could she have known…? She sighed again! Deep and heavy trying to control her emotions. She picked up her phone again and switched it off. She could not stand another call just now. She had asked Dan to take care of Trixie while she was out. While she had to deal with some things.

He had asked her what was going on. Surely he felt something had happed at the scene of Pierce death. He must have noticed how scared she was, how shaken by all the events. She was sure he thought it all concerned the death of Pierce. That she was grieving him and had to deal with her emotions. But again… she had to admit and had to be true to herself that it was never about Pierce. It was about Lucifer. She needed some time out to master the truth she had learned at the scene. But how could she have told him that? So she just let him assume and went by that. It was better for him to think she was dealing with the death of Pierce than to know what was really going on. Also…?! How could she tell someone about something she could not even understand herself?

She closed her eyes and held her breath. Maybe that was all a dream. And if she would just concentrate hard enough she would wake up. Lying in her bed and all would be good. There would be no Pierce, no death and no Lucifer. She suddenly opened her eyes by her own thought and starred into the room. Was that what she wanted? Confusion ran over her like hot flames, her heart gave a little ache. The thought of Lucifer disappearing from her live… it… hurt. She did not… want him to leave… she… another sigh. She did not know what she wanted. Make it all go back to before? To before she knew the truth? But wasn't she the one who wanted to know the truth? Did she not tell him so before they went into that building? Did she not demand to know everything? She was annoyed by herself and her own mind.

It seemed her mind was scolding her for demanding to know something she could not handle in the end. And now that she knows the truth she could not just go back and make it all go away. Her emotions threatened to overrun her so she tried to shake them off. She closed her eyes again and buried her face in her hands. Maybe she could just sit here until it would all resolve itself. But destiny had other plans. She heard how the chair across her own table was moved and someone sat down. For a split second she thought it was Lucifer but the person cleared her throat before she spoke to her: "I am sorry to interrupt… but is there anything I can do for you?"

OOOO

Lucifer Morningstar starred down at the phone in his hand. She had not picked up his call… again… and now she even switched off her phone. She was avoiding him. Emotions were racing through him even though he could not pinpoint directly what this meant and what they were trying to tell him. A little shaky he put the phone down and picked up his scotch. He drank a large gulp nearly emptying his glass. Grinding his teeth he put the glass back down at the top of the piano and started to play a tune. Absent mindedly he was swaying with the music closing his eyes and letting the tune take the better of him.

It all went so fast that day. He had never planned it that way, never wanted her to find out in a scenario like that. The way she had starred at him, the fear in her eyes and the shock on her face… He had not even noticed his devil face coming back to him. Only when he saw himself in a reflection he realized what she was looking at. The moment he understood he made a step towards her… wanting to explain everything; he held up his hands and moved close to her. But she started to move backwards. Raising her own hands to stop him coming closer. Her head was shaking slightly. "No…" She sighed and then sounds of footsteps came their way. Officers were running up the stairs towards them. He did not have time… he wanted to explain… he wanted to get closer, hold her… he wanted…

Another shimmer of shock run across her face and he realized his devil face must have vanished again. Not taking his eyes off her he run his fingers across his face. His devil face was gone. He was still slowly moving towards her. "Let me explain…!" he whispered. His voice carried the pain he was feeling just now. But in this moment the police officers arrived at the scene. Dan was leading the crowd, guns drawn and raised. It took the officers a while to take in the whole picture of the scene. Dan was the first to see the body of Pierce. He lowered his gun and ran towards the body. The other officers moved in. At first it seemed Chloe and Lucifer were not noticed but after Dan had realized Pierce was dead he raised his head. His gaze ran across the room towards the two of them.

He got up, put his gun away and ran towards Chloe. He did not seem to realize what was going on between them when he hugged her. She seemed to be taken aback by that as if she had not realized anyone had entered the room. Her arms could not really find their way across Dan to hug him back. But her eyes stayed with Lucifer. "Are you okay…?" Dan disengaged from her and looked her in the face. Only then a shimmer of realization ran across him. Something was off. "What is going on…?" He asked her. But when she did not reply he turned to face Lucifer. "Hey man… what is going on?" But he could not reply either… there was a lump in his throat that stopped him from speaking. His gaze was still on Chloe. His eyes were aching; he had a watery feeling in them. It felt as if something just broke… this second when she saw his true self. The one thing he was always afraid of.

Dan did not know all this, did not know what was going on in Lucifers head or heart. But when he looked at the man standing in front of him he saw what was off: The bullet holes in his shirt. "Oh man… what happened?" He made a step closer to Lucifer and tried to get a hold of his jacket to take a closer look. That seemed to be the trick. Suddenly Chloe broke off her gaze from Lucifer. It had seemed to him that her detective self kicked into action. As of this moment it all seemed to be like a dream for him… like everything happened in slow motion. Before Dan could reach him, Chloe had him by the arm and turned him around. She started talking to him, gesturing in the direction of Lucifer but avoiding looking at him again. She took Dan with her to the centre of the room, gesturing and talking.

Lucifer turned around and while doing so closed his jacket to avoid more questions about those bullet holes. He was standing in his spot, in shock it seems watching the scenery. More police officers were streaming in. Saving the weapons, making sure everything was secured and checking on the victims of the fight. Lucifer's gaze just followed Chloe. She did not seem to take any notice of him anymore. People were coming his way, checking on him too, asking questions… he does not remember if he answered any of them. He slowly began to move towards Chloe again. He was drawn to her. He felt that if he would not make it right now… if he would not resolve it now… She did not look at him when she raised her voice. "You can go home…!" Dan who was standing right next to her raised his gaze.

"Yeah man… you look terrible. We got this…! Chloe just told me what happened. Just go home and we can take your statement later." He smiled at him which just increased his confusion. He looked at Chloe who was still not looking back to him. "You told…" he started. "... how you saved my life by risking your own…?! Yes, I told them and now go home…!" Something slight brushed her voice when she said it. It was maybe too slight for Dan to notice but Lucifer did. He was not sure what it meant. But his brows narrowed slightly and he basically pierced her with his gaze now. After what she just saw she still… tried to protect him. Confusion… and a slight tiny feeling of… he was not sure. He was still gazing and not moving when Dan put his hands on his arm. "Don't worry… buddy." He just wanted one last look at her, one last glance in her eyes, one last… but she was avoiding him and Dan started to push him away. Dan called to an officer asking him to escort Lucifer off the scene. The office put his arms around him and helped him away.

As if he was in trance Lucifer followed: Turning every now and then to get one last glimpse of her. Before he left the room he thought seeing her raising her gaze, meeting his eyes for a split second before she looked away again. Then he was outside. How he got home exactly he does not know. But now he found himself sitting at his piano at his penthouse: Still wearing his clothes, playing, drinking and trying to reach her. He did not know if that was it… if that was the last time he had laid eyes on her… he… suddenly anger raged through his body! He slapped the piano shut and raised from the stool… He grabbed the glass and slammed it on the floor. He was about to do worse when he heard the bell of the elevator signaling him someone was about to enter his penthouse.

He gazed in the direction when the door opened and a person stepped out. "Chloe…?" He whispered looking in disbelief. "No, man… it's me… Dan!"