For Raven, who wanted (character) Severus Snape, (scenario) having/trying to have a close relationship with someone. Include his insecurities. [no cross-gen, please] & (genre) angst.
I hope you like this!

Word count: 676

broken wings don't fly

You are in love with the girl with the red hair who has magic just like you from the moment you see her. She is the light to your darkness, the wildfire that chases your shadows away, and the best part is this: she agrees to be your friend.

(the worst part is this: she isn't in love with you)

.x.

Her sister hates you, and you hate her right back. You don't really mean to, though. She's a muggle, sure – unworthy of your time and attention, unworthy of Lily's time an attention – and worse than that perhaps, she doesn't share her sister's innate light and warmth.

But Lily likes her, loves her, idolizes her, even, and so sometimes you try to get her to see you in a better, kinder light.

It never works: no matter what you do, she sees right through you and sneers.

So you hate her, for the way she's unworthy and never, ever tries to think you could be better, but more than everything you hate her because she sees you.

Where Lily always has a smile to spare for you, where she always says 'Severus, come on, be nice' like she actually believes he can be and plans for a future they can share at Hogwarts and after, like she believes you can be better, like he can be worth something someday, her sister sneers at you and you know – you know – that Lily has to be wrong.

(here's the way your drunk father always puts it: you're a sham, just like your mother, fooling others and you and all you're good for is ruining things)

(and that's your greatest fear: that one day you'll ruin her too)

So one day you stop trying – stop trying to get her to like you, to see what Lily sees in you (because surely if someone else were to see it then it'd mean that it was real, and not just a fragment of the imagination of a too kind-hearted girl) – and instead tries to convince Lily that her sister is petty, and mean (and just like you, why can't she see?).

You mean to drive a wedge in between them, and you're viciously glad every time you succeed even a little, though it does something weird to your heart when you see her cry over her sister distancing herself, calling her a freak.

You can't bring yourself to regret it though, no matter how hard you try, because Lily is choosing you, because she's staying by your side over her sister's, and in your mind that's all that matters.

And still, every time she tells you Petunia calls her a freak, you can't help but feel a little glad. Because after all, you're a freak too (that's all your father ever called you, and nothing your mother tells you can change your mind on that – not when she can't even talk back to the husband who hates her), and maybe if she thinks she's like, she'll stay.

(but she can only ever think that she's like you – she can never become like you, not when it'd mean putting out everything that makes her bright and love and her)

(does that make you a monster?)

(maybe, but Merlin as long as she stays by your side you don't think you could mind being the worst of them all)

.x.

You fall in love with the hair like the fire she exults with her ever move, and you would do anything for her – or rather, you would do anything to keep her close, to have her keep on being your friend.

You don't know who you'd become if she wasn't, but you don't think you'd like that person.

After all, Lily is the only person who can chase your shadows away. If she leaves, would there even be enough light left for you to deserve saving?

(the worst thing is: in the end, you have to find out)

(you were right: you do not like the answer)