Archival Science
Author Notes
I have officially gone insane.
I stumbled on a writing exercise which had 50 prompts. So I did all of them.
I'd like to dedicate this part to Arkham Zombie, author of Discovering an Unexpected Romance, a very good Pete/Steve story that can be found here, in
(If you're reading this, sorry that I didn't review your story yet; I haven't got the time. But I've read the new chapters; keep up your awesome work!).
Disclaimer: I do not own Warehouse 13 or any of the characters. (If I did, you'd know).
Story
Telephone
On the northernmost point of the Warehouse, a red telephone started ringing, catching Steve's attention. He stopped doing inventory and went to check out the noise.
The tag of the communication device read 'USSR's Red Telephone', and the effect was a deep feeling of peace between the listener and the caller following the call's end. No downsides were listed so, against Artie's better judgment, Steve picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Steve?"
"Yeah. What do you want, Pete?"
"A little help, Myka has our Farnsworth and I'm trapped here."
The human lie detector's mind focused solely on helping the man he loves.
"Where is 'here'?"
"Uh. I think Artie said this phone was in the southest point of the Warehouse, but I'm not sure."
"I'll be right there." – Not even the artifact was powerful enough to dislodge the feeling of dread that had settled within him.
Steve hung up and looked around to see if there were any teleportation devices nearby. Ekaterina Kato Svanidze's Sewing Kit, Lenin's Communist Party Insignia, Stalin's First Military Medal. Nothing useful. A British voice came from one aisle over:
"Steve, darling, what is taking you so long?"
"Can't really talk now, H.G., I have to save Pete."
"Ah, yes. Young love. Saving him may work perfectly; it did work on my Myka after all." – The former ATF agent blushed but didn't lie to her. – "Here. Trotsky's passport. And you might want to take one of Claudia's Goo-nades. At least I think that's what they're called."
"Thanks."
"Good luck, mate."
Bonds
"You just had to annoy H.G."
"I didn't know she would use an artifact to get back at me. And I really didn't know she would trap us in God knows what."
Agents Lattimer and Jinks were face to face; incased in a weird type of vine tying them up together.
"What is this?"
"I don't know."
"The label is behind me, Pete. Read it."
"Okay, sheesh. Freya's Trapping Plant. Can't read the effects or the downsides."
"Okay. Freya is the Nordic Goddess of love and war, so I guess this plant will kill us if we don't neutralize it. Do you have your Farnsworth?"
"Yeah, but I can't reach it. It's in my back pocket." – The vibe-feeling agent felt the other man's hand in his ass. – "Other pocket!"
"Calm down." – He opened the device's lid. – "Myka? I need help."
She sighed.
"Where are you?"
"An aisle. Quick, how do you neutralize Freya's Plant?"
"You would have to have sex with the other person trapped. Why? Who are you trapped with?"
"Thank you, Myka, goodbye." – He closed the communication device.
"She didn't say sex, did she?"
"Yes, she did."
A wicked smile crossed Pete's face.
"I have to annoy H.G. more."
"That's the way you admit you feelings?"
"No."
"You should really stop lying."
Pain
It was just like Edgar Allan Poe's Quill and Notebook; two parts of a bifurcated artifact started to wreak havoc simultaneously. But this time, in very different parts of Russia. Pete and Myka went to take care of the one acting up in Vladivostok while Steve and H.G. traveled to Moscow.
The inventor and the human lie detector found their artifact rather easily; the person freaked out and threw it at them. The problem was that Maria Feodorovna's Necklace latched onto Steve's arm.
"It won't come off. Well, I suppose you will have to bathe in neutralizer when we get back to the Warehouse."
"Poor thing, it's just lonely."
"And how do you know that?"
"I don't know."
"Well, at least it isn't a girly necklace, this one you can actually wear."
The former ATF agent rolled his eyes at his partner while unwrapping the brass chain from his wrist and onto his neck.
"We have to take the train."
Helena raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
On the far east of the continental sized country, Pete was fighting off the man who had been using Alexander Romanov's Signet Ring. The former Secret Service agent was able to get the artifact during the first tumble with the bad guy.
He put it on to prevent the other guy from getting it back, not knowing that his pain was being broadcast to the human lie detector.
Helena modified the engine of the train they were in to make it as fast as the trains in Japan the moment she saw Steve's first flinch. She also explained to the passengers that Mister Putin requested the train to make no stops before Vladivostok.
When it reached the final destination of the Trans-Siberian Railway, Steve was off like a guided arrow, sprinting through the town as if he knew it like the palm of his hand. H.G. just followed him as best as she could.
"Hey!" – He yelled at the man fighting his lover. – "Taste lighting."
He discharged his Tesla, effectively knocking the guy out.
"Jinksy? How did you get here?"
"I took the train."
The moment Steve touched his agent to check for bruises, a shiver coursed through them, healing Pete.
Myka, who had been at the library doing some research, explained it all to them on the train ride back to Moscow.
"Maria Feodorovna was the president for the Russian Red Cross, as well as a major benefactor in many hospitals; which is probably why you were able to heal him. She also watched her husband die-"
"Explains why I could feel his pain."
"What?"
"Calm down, I'm fine now." – He was tackled by the overprotective agent Lattimer. – "I can take a few punches."
"I hate this artifact."
"It just saved you. Besides, I think when we get to the Warehouse, they'll be happy together."
"And leave us alone."
Death
Pete woke up from another nightmare.
He'd been having those ever since he'd found Steve's body in that hangar. Every night, like clockwork. But after he used the metronome he thought they were gone for good.
The side effect was good while it lasted.
But it still didn't cover the fact that Steve's heart didn't beat.
The former Secret Service agent surprised all of them when he threw himself into finding out how to detach his lover from the artifact without killing him. It was him who found out about Schumann's poem.
Emma Jinks loved her son-in-law.
"I still want grandkids, you know."
Then Steve had to destroy the metronome to save his mother. Pete could swear that his own heart had stopped until he noticed that Steve wouldn't die because of that.
He put his ear to his lover's chest so he could hear the sound he missed the most.
Th-thump Th-thump Th-thump Th-thump Th-thump Th-thump
"What just happened?"
"Mrs. Jinks." – A middle age woman whose brown hair was stacked in an old-fashioned beehive appeared in the living room. – "Walk with me."
"Who are you?"
"My name is Mrs. Frederic."
Even after remembering what had happened six days ago, Pete still couldn't sleep.
"You think too much." – Steve wrapped his arms around his lover.
"You're the first to ever say that to me."
"I know. Come back to sleep."
Potatoes
"Pete?"
"Yeah?"
"Is it just me or is it raining potatoes?"
"It isn't just you, Jinksy."
"When you think it can't get any weirder." – Steve sighed and opened his umbrella. – "Get under here."
"Why? It's not like it'll help."
"Pete."
"Fine." - The rain worsened. – "Hey, how is it that we aren't puree yet?"
"Winston Churchill's Umbrella. It's basically a huge shield."
"Neat. Who?"
"He was the British prime minister during the war. And you're not paying attention."
"No, I am!"
"Lie."
"I forget you always know."
"I know. Now let's go find this artifact and see if we can get Leena to make French fries when we get back."
"I love you, you know that, right?"
"Yeah, I do."
Freedom
"Vive la France!"
Myka Bering and Steve Jinks stared at the artifact-controlled H.G. Wells.
"You know that after we neutralize what is affecting her, she'll probably go destroy France?"
"I know, I know." – She sighed. – "One problem at a time. Wait, where's Pete?"
"He was here a moment ago."
A shadow appeared behind the British inventor.
"Liberté, égalité, fraternité!"
"And there he is."
"We better stay back, I don't know you, but I don't really want to become a revolutionary." – Steve opened his shoulder bag of artifacts. Claudia made it lined with the same material as the neutralizer bags for easy transportation. – "Come on, come on… I know I put it in here…"
"Let me help. What are we looking for?"
"A small silver eagle."
"They're getting closer…"
"Aha! Found it!"
He held the figurine by his outstretched palm. The bird of prey stretched its wings and started shining. The metallic glow wrapped around the revolutionaries, locking them in place. Violet sparks started flying from H.G.'s pocket.
Myka went and bagged a bullet after Steve put the silver bird back in his bag.
"Most likely an old memento from the Bastille. Where did you get Napoleon's eagle, by the way?"
"Artie."
"I absolutely despise France and all its people!"
Steve held in his laughter as he turned to Myka.
"What did I tell you?"
Forever
It was weird to get married with the regents watching. Even worse, with Mrs. Frederic presiding as judge of peace.
But neither of them could say that their lives had even a smidge of normality left since they started to work at the Warehouse.
Myka and Artie were Pete's witnesses while Claudia and H.G. were Steve's.
The former ATF agent was the first to walk down the aisle, with his mother holding back tears of happiness. After leaving her son at the altar, Emma Jinks sat on the bench closest to him.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around she saw Adwin Kosan's smile.
"Here. Do not be afraid."
The old fashioned wallet she was handed glowed for a moment before producing an image of her lost daughter. Steve was taken aback at seeing his sister's spirit giving him two thumbs up and a 'You've got great taste, Steve'. Mrs. Frederic explained:
"The regents thought that all should be present for this event, Agent Jinks. Even the ones who could not be here. Mrs. Jinks was given Harry Houdini's Wallet. There will be two more guests from the other side so do not be alarmed."
Pete was brought (under some minor protest of 'I'm not bride!') to the altar by his mother on his right, his sister on his left and his ex-wife behind him, holding up his veil (Claudia's fault).
After the three women were seated and Pete had ditched his veil, Jane Lattimer and her daughter received two more artifacts; Rasputin's Prayer Rope and Charon's Cloak.
Mister Lattimer and Benedict Valda were given temporary corporeal forms.
"I can't say I expected to be present at your wedding, Petey."
"I knew it. No one stays dead for long around here." – He looked around. – "Oh. Congratulations, Pete. Steve, nice seeing you alive and well. Last time we saw each other we were on the other side."
"Now that we are all here, I can begin." – Mrs. Frederic adjusted her glasses. – "We are gathered here today to celebrate the love between Agent Jinks and Agent Lattimer."
Blood
Their relationship wasn't always cuddly and sweet as most thought. Sometimes a case hit them hard and they need it to hurt. It's cathartic. They allow it because they know that the other would never damage them more than they can take it.
At times, it's all teeth and bruises.
But never when one was already hurt.
"Pete, stop moving, I'm trying to change your bandages."
"But I want to-"
"No." – Steve's voice was firm, even if his movements continued to be soft. – "I need you to be okay."
"Fine. And I wasn't gonna say what you thought I would."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, I was going to get… Uh." - He was now facing his lover, with his face getting redder by the second. – "Closertoyou."
"What?"
"Closer to you."
"Oh." – He smirked. – "Well, I'm all done here, want to go downstairs and get cookies?"
"We still have some?"
"Leena baked them just for you."
"Yes! Score!" – The movement of punching the air caused him to cringe at the pain. With a softer voice he continued. – "Can we eat them on the couch?"
"As long as Artie doesn't find out."
Technology
Steve was reading the Original version of Alice in Wonderland to Pete, who was wrapped around him on the armchair. Claudia opened the door to Artie's office and walked in triumphantly.
"Who's the best? I am!"
"Hey, Claud. How was Eureka?"
"They actually survived me, Jinksy, so I'd say nice."
"Did you get anything for me?"
"No cookies, sorry. But you have to look at this!" – She opened her shoulder bag and pulled out a belt. – "A moon belt!"
"What?"
"Remember why I was sent there?"
"No."
"To develop new technologies using artifacts as a base." – Pete looked at his lover. – "I pay attention when Artie talks."
"Eh." – The vibe-feeling agent shrugged. – "I only hear blah blah blah."
"Guys!"
"Yes, Claudia?"
"I can float with this!"
"No way! Let me try!"
Steve pinched his nose bridge and breathed in deeply as he watched his best friend and his husband play around in the office. Although he had to admit it was very funny when they jumped on top of Artie, almost giving him a heart attack.
Sickness
Pete Lattimer was freaking out.
Steve had been affected by an unknown artifact and was now bedridden. Mykes, Claudia and Helena were researching it to track it down while the vibe-feeling agent waited for Doctor Calder to finish her examination.
"Well, I have good news. Agent Jinks, if you behave well the following four months or so, then you are in no danger of dying."
"Why? What does he have?"
"Congratulations, you are three months pregnant."
"You are not kidding." – The former ATF agent was surprised to say the least. – "Wait, three and four equals seven months."
"No and yes. No, I'm not kidding; but don't worry, I've developed an experience on male pregnancies throughout my life. And for some reason, they last two months less than normal pregnancies."
"This isn't the first time?"
"Of course not. Although, the last time it happened it was between Arthur and James, so it has been a while."
"Thank you, Doctor Calder."
Vanessa excused herself from the room, leaving the couple alone. Steve was weirded out by the information he'd just received, but the idea of having a kid was something he'd entertained for some time now. He snapped his fingers on his lover's face to bring him out of the daze he was in.
"Did she say pregnant?"
"Yeah, Pete."
The former ATF agent found himself being hugged softly.
"I'm going to be a dad! I can't believe it!"
"My mother is going to love this."
"Oh, yeah. We should probably tell my mother too."- They shared a quick kiss and Steve moved to the side so that Pete could lie down with him. – "Think Artie is going to like being called grandpa by our kid?"
"Who knows if he doesn't already have grandkids of his own? I want to know what happened to his kid with MacPherson."
"Oh yeah, me too."
"I love you, you know."
"I love you too, Jinksy."