Hey Guys! So, this is going to follow season two pretty closely and I'll update anywhere from 1-3 times a week. I'd love to hear what you think I can improve and what you enjoyed and would like to see again. I love reviews, they make my whole week and bring huge smiles to my face (ask my bff we were on the phone when my first ever review came in). Thanks for taking time and reading! -Captainofmanyships

p.s. Last episode broke my heart into itty pieces. I literally could barely get up in the morning. My ship is sinking...

Ward, he didn't care what Ward thought. He never wanted to see him again. But Simmons, she left him. And that hurt most. She left because she didn't love him, he knew that with one hundred percent certainty. She left because he changed. He wasn't the same. He never would be. Fitz's best friend, the one who he thought would always be by his side because he was prepared to do the same for her, abandoned him. He couldn't feel angry, he just felt numb. After all, he still has ghost Simmons. At least she hadn't left him. He knew though, in the back of his mind, she wasn't real. She'd never be real. As much as he tried to convince himself that Jemma had never left, eventually he'd fall apart. It was futile really. Delaying the inevitable. He already was falling apart, piece by piece. Everyday he woke up and Simmons was still gone, another piece fell out of place. He didn't blame her for leaving. He blamed Ward.

" I could have killed him too," Fitz mumbled under his breath, reminiscing on the events that had occurred that morning, meeting Ward in the basement, sucking what little oxygen was in his cell away.

"Oh Fitz, that's not like you. You aren't a killer." Alt Simmons whispered as they stood outside the lounge watching Coulson and the team de-brief the members of SHIELD in Portugal about their earlier mission.

"Yeah, well he..he…" Fitz groaned and slumped his head against the wall, struggling to put his thoughts into words.

"You're getting there, Fitz. Can't you see that?" Simmons placed a hand on his right shoulder, doing her best to comfort him. There was a long pause before Fitz finally looked up, giving fleeting look toward the lounge,

"I miss her." He whispered longingly. Alt Simmons sighed.

"We've talked about this. She left. She doesn't care about you anymore. You need to move on." She argued, what seemed like the umpteenth time to Fitz. There was one thing that his imaginary Simmons didn't have in common with the real Jemma: She was giving up on their relationship. Of course, this was only because she reflected how Fitz felt and he was the one giving up. "She's going to come back someday and not feel the same way you do. Move on, Fitz. Make friends, if you talked to the team-"

"I've tried talking to the team, Jemma!" Fitz interrupted. "I can't…I cant…Ugh!" He fumbled for words his hands balled into fists. "They don't understand….I'm still me. I still….I still want…I still want a monkey." He decided nodding his head once. "I still think the same I'm just…"

"Gradual on the output.' She finished for him, receiving a nod in return.

"I just wish they could all see that." He murmured.

"Oh they do Fitz! They just don't know how to act around you." Alt Simmons reassured.

"That makes me feel much better, Jemma." He grunted sarcastically. She chuckled.

"Come on, Fitz. Stick it out a little longer, you'll get there, I promise."

"I know. Its just…"

"Taking longer than you thought." She completed for him.

"Yeah. A lot longer."

But little did Fitz know how long it really would take.