Title: Cat Man
Rating: T
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Gilderoy Lockhart
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.
Word Count: 532
Summary: Gilderoy didn't think it through when he decided on cats.
Notes:
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry: February Event: Singletons' Problems - 14. When you are in danger of owning too many cats (Gilderoy
The Ultimate Patronus Quest Challenge: Class G - Birds - 21. Parrots: Alternatively write about Gilderoy Lockhart
Big Damn Prompt Race Competition: 22. Object: hairbrush
Gilderoy ran his hairbrush though his hair. He gazed at his reflection as he worked to get the strands just perfect.
His concentration was broken when an orange tabby cat jumped up on the dresser. He looked down at the purring feline and set the brush down next to it. "Hey, Miss Whiskers. Get down. No cats are allowed on the furniture. You know better than that."
He picked up the cat and sat it on the ground. His attention was caught by two cats—one white and one black—who were on his bed and were currently playing tug-of-war with his bed sheet. "Hey, Don and Angie, none of that," he ordered.
Don dropped the sheet and stared at Gilderoy, but Angie began clawing the sheet she still had in her mouth.
"Angie," Gilderoy said fiercely.
Angie, always the stubborn one, ignored him.
He shook his head. Oh well, he needed to get some new sheets anyways.
He went back to staring at the mirror and ran his fingers through strands of his beautiful hair.
He heard frantic meowing in another room and with a heavy sigh, he left his bedroom to go investigate the ruckus.
There were five cats, and they were all gathered around six empty water dishes.
Gilderoy rolled his eyes. When he decided he would never meet a woman to fall in love—after all, there wasn't one as perfect as him, and he would never settle for less than perfect—he decided to get cats. Lots of them.
He thought having some pets would be good companionship so he didn't get lonely, and they liked to be prim and stay pretty as well. He knew they didn't like mud or any kind of filth. Gilderoy thought cats would be perfect for him, but he hadn't expected them to be such troublemakers.
They were a lot of work. It might have been better if he simply got one or two, but he liked the saying, 'the more, the merrier.' Maybe it didn't apply to pets, though.
"Hey, everyone, stop! I'll get you some water. Just relax."
The more time he spent feeding them and making sure they didn't destroy his house, the less time he had to gaze at himself in the mirror. It just wasn't fair.
He worked tirelessly to make sure they were all taken care of. He leaned down and tried to pet Arnold, but the pesky cat had a temper, and Gilderoy got clawed for his efforts.
He glared at the rude thing. "Just remember who feeds you," Gilderoy warned.
The whole day went like that. Whenever Gilderoy tried to do something for himself, namely look at himself in the mirror or brush his hair, a cat or cats needed his attention.
It was exhausting.
And that night when he went to bed, ready to have the bed all to himself, he had eight cats jumping up to sleep on it with him. Of course, the floor was too good for the lot of them.
They were all prima donnas. Every single one of them.
And Gilderoy had no idea where they got their attitudes from. It must have been a cat thing.