written for the ultimate pairing drabble competition using the pairing jamesii/scorpius and the prompt decide
ooo
Tick-tock
Your time's running out. You're watching it all happen, without saying a word against it. You watch Albus kiss him, you see fire behind his pale eyes and you wish it was directed at you. People say that you and your brother are so similar, but at times like this, you wish you really were. You wish you could be the kind of person that he loves. You wish that you could stay longer to tell him how you feel. You wish that it wasn't a choice between your brother's love life and your own happiness. You wish you weren't rushed by the ever-ticking timer of your life. You wish you weren't as selfish as you are.
Ticktockticktock
The sand in your hourglass is running faster than ever. You're sweating and nervous, but you can't stop.
"Scor, can I talk to you?" you say, not waiting for a response, only taking his hand and leading him into the hall.
"Scorpius, there's something I need to tell you. But I can't do it. Maybe one day, but I leave for Spain tomorrow. I'm running out of time so I needed to tell you before it was too late. Gryffindor's aren't always brave and courageous. Sometimes… they—I can be a bloody coward. And I hope you know that…" But you couldn't finish. A lump rose in your throat as your dad called for you.
"James!" he shouted. "You need to go, you'll be late!"
"I know, Dad. Give me one more second," you respond, and turning back to Scorpius, you lean in to whisper, "Don't think I've moved on from all of you. I'll be back soon. But until then…" you say, softly kissing him on the cheek.
He blushes and the look of shock on his face is one you can never forget. "I'll explain later, I promise."
You grab your suitcase, mentally punishing yourself for your brashness. Making a mental note to explain everything to Scorpius in a letter as soon as you settle down in Spain, you make your way into the family room to say goodbye to everyone, where you see Scorpius had distanced himself from everyone else. Feeling as though you've messed up worse than ever before, you disapparate, and the only picture in your mind is that of Scor's shock when you kissed him. Hopefully, you think, he'll decide that your actions won't pull him away from Albus. You don't want to risk your brother's happiness for your self-centered behaviour. Maybe one day, Scorpius will decide that he loves you too. If only your time wasn't running by so fast.